Not pointing- do I really need to go back to the MCHN?

[amberj]

At our 12 month check up, DS was not pointing and the MCHN wasn't terribly happy about it. She said if he was still not pointing at 15 months, we needed to come back and see her. Well, its 4 days off 15 months and there are no signs of pointing.

I've done the reading on why not pointing is a concern- its about "shared attention"- the idea that your child recognises you have a different perspective/ experience than them, and they see something and want to share it with you. Not pointing or delaying pointing can at its most extreme be an autism marker and at its less extreme can signify a learning/ language delay.

In all other respects my DS is a very normal, happy, interactive child. I would be beyond astounded to learn there is anything remotely 'delayed' or different about him. He seems very bright and curious and observant and aware. There are absolutely no other signs of autism. I think he shows shared attention in other ways, but nothing so blatent as pointing.

So do I go back or not? I guess my fear is that once I go back, it starts a whole chain (kind of like the cascade of intervention in labour)- and I'm not sure I want to start down that chain, or if its even needed. I like my MCHN a lot, so its no punishment to go see her, I just feel like its starting something over nothing. My mummy instincts tell me there is nothing wrong, but then how do I really know? Early intervention/ assistance is important in these things, right?

Advice appreciated, thanks!!

[Olive]

i remember DD1 not pointing at the 'so called time' she should have, i cant remember when she did but i dont think its cause for alarm

[Lolli]

Hi hun, I'd definately say don't worry about it. My ds didn't start pointing until he was about 18 months. Like you, my gut instinct told me nothing was wrong so i didn't worry too much about it.

I remember my ds used to kind of gesture with his hand to things, or just indicate in some other way he was interested in them. I'm not one to walk around pointing at things, I'm more of a verbal kind of person, so it was just a behaviour he hadn't learned. He still is not much of a pointer, and there is absolutley nothing wrong with his communication skills.

If you feel he's communicating with you in his way, I wouldn't stress. How on earth did our great grandma's do without mchn's and their little blue books to stress them out?

[Lulu]

Go with your gut mummy bear xoxoxo

[SammyRo]

Amber, DD is a similar age and not pointing, but she communicates what she wants very clearly in other ways so I'm not worried. A friends daughter who is similar age has been pointing for ages but isn't doing other stuff that DD is. Bah, MCHN's always get you worrying!

[BekZ]

Use your instinct hun. My DD1 didn't point until she was 18months plus but she is/was super advandanced at everything else.

[amberj]

Thanks all. I feel torn between my instinct and my head, which is freaking me out! It doesn't help that I occasionally frequent a US birth board with lots of little kids the same age as my son, and they are all talking about how many words their kids are saying (my DS says no words), and some of them are even toilet training (a laughable thought for my child!). Are they serious?! Or is this a case of uber-mums showing off/ exaggerating? (sorry, little rant)

[Winter]

Sorry Amber, didn't you get my smug showy-offy message about my baby ~only 6 months old you know~ has just got her university degree? Genius must run in the family!

Oh, your son isn't even TALKING?? Tsk, tsk....

[luna moth]

To answer the not pointing question - what harm can be done by going back to the MCHN? I'm currently living in a state where they are nowhere near as accessible as they are in Vic, so I'd be really thankful that you've got a MCHN who cares enough to be concerned. Children on the autism spectrum can be helped so much more when it's picked up early. Go along, you might get some great ideas oout of it. If you don't get any great ideas out of it, then what have you lost? An hour out of your day. Not a biggie, really.

As for the competitive mums - little bit of both. 50 words at 15 months is pretty common, but it depends on the child. Beginnings of toilet training at that age are also possible, but again, depends on the child. I know some really bright kids who didn't TT until well after 3, and some others who TT really early but freak out socially. But, yes, there's always that element of showing off and comparing. What is that about? Drives me mental - and I don't even have kiddies yet!

[amberj]

ROFL

I don't mean to show off, but its just so CUTE how he has mastered algebra at his age, I just wanted to share!

[Jac]

50 words at 15 months is pretty common, but it depends on the child.

Actually, I think 50 words at 15mths would be considered above average rather than pretty common. My DS had about this and everyone commented on it as if he were a genius. He's not, that's just an area of development he's good at.

As for not pointing, I agree with your mummy instincts and do not see this as a big deal at all. My DD is 12 mths and she's not pointing either and I couldn't care less. She is communicating in other ways, has heaps of joint attention and I know that she's fine. I work in the area of disability/autism and am a speech pathologist and I say DON'T WORRY, go to your next check up as usual and enjoy your little one. I'm getting a little sick of mum's being made to worry about their child's development when it's unwarranted. 15mths and not pointing is not a reason to visit an expert, if that's the only thing they're not doing developmentally!

[Mezzz]

I also agree that there is nothing to worry about but if you like your mchn I would probably go see her anyway, tell her he isnt pointing but your not concerned and not interested in any follow up action at the moment.

As for talking out of 15 babies in my mothers group there was one excellent talker who could probably say 50 words at 15 months but that was it all the others were just saying the basics like mum and dad and maybe a couple more. My DS was only really saying about 5 words up until a couple of weeks ago and he is nearly 23 months. Now all of a sudden he is saying a new word a day its amazing how things happen so quickly. According to the raising children network by 2.5 years they are expected to use 50 words. I just noticed that it says by 3 they should be able to throw a ball overarm and my ds has been doing this since 12 months so just goes to show they might be behind in some of the milestones but ahead in others.
(im also guilty if looking at others milestones on boards and worrying myself)

[rustygirl]

my son didn't start pointing until a couple of weeks ago. I think it's quite unfair for her to put that pressure on you and your baby. Makes you feel like he isn't developing correctly. I'd give him a couple more mths.

[amberj]

Thanks all. I just gave a call to make a time to see my MCHN because its been playing on my mind and I keep second guessing myself. I like my MCHN and she doesn't tend to be very alarmist, so I figure I will go and see her because it can't really hurt and is more likely to put my mind at ease. I would be very shocked if it came to anything. Will keep you posted!