Well the time is approaching fast that I am going to have to start telling my family.
My father is so concerned of my weight and size at the momment he politely told my mother that he would pay for lap banding!! ( I am a big girl anyhow ).
I really don't want to be there when we tell them ( after losing our other and my SIL also lost a baby at the same time as we did and they are trying like mad ( sort of the same probs as me ).
My family know about their trying and problems they had and are still having. Noone suspects that me and DH were going to try again, and they do not know about how hard it has been for yus to conceive our little bundle of joy.
I want my inlaws to be happy for us but I know that they will only be concerned about her.
Or should I just have my own excitement and enjoy my moment ???. Either way I don't see them being as happy for us as they were for them. Even when we lost our little one and my sil was in another room in the ward my MIL came in asking about where they buried there baby!!!!!! She lost hers at about 6/7weeks and ours was almost 13 when it passed away and we were still waiting results as to why our angel had died and to ask me a question like that..As you can see prioritys are with her not me..
So yeah this is going to be very awkward for us to tell our family.
We were thinking of announcing it after the anommaly scan ...
Goodluck with it all, i hope they show you lots of joy for your exciting news and that everything goes smoothly for you.
Maybe if they live close enough you can organise a dinner, maybe say to them are you ready to have a baby around? I'm xxx weeks.
Even if you want it can't hurt to wait until 12wks and you can pass over the scan pic, if they ask why you waited so long you can say you just wanted to be sure before getting everyones hopes up again?
Whatever happens please remember every baby is a miracle and even if other people can't show the joy and respect that you hope for it doesn't mean it's any less special to you!
I announced #4 on facebook Basically because I just was not up for all there "OMG you are having another one" type comments. I did wait until I was over 13 weeks.
Family and close friends all rang to confirm though - I got a couple of "I cant believe you used facebook to tell us" I just laughed
I was thinking of using FB but not all my friends / family are on it. Also my SD and SS are on FB and DH wants to tell them in person. A bit awkard when they will announce it to everyone before we get the chance....ahhhhhh children !
Can you get your SD and SS together with your parents and PIL and do dinner?
Tell them all there and then and then use FB or SMS to tell other ppl?
We called our parents with DD1 as mine are 2hrs away and i thought it only fair if mine find out like that then so should his... we got in trouble from my MIL... lol
my SIL bought little pair of socks that said i love nanna and i love poppy and gave them to her parents at tea one day, my MIL cried for hours!
I think you should wipe the doubt out of your mind, tell everyone important and enjoy the moment, what if you never get to experience this again?
I'd tell those who would be happy for you and revel in the joy they will share with you, then tell those that you think will be not but keep fresh in your mind the happiness you felt with everyone else.
This is your experience and you need to remember that.
Your ticker says your 15 weeks! I'd tell them soon and start to enjoy everything about being preggers, don't spend another minute worrying about others and what they think.
This time round we kept it quiet far longer than 12 weeks, as I had wanted to. We told parents and siblings (and accepted that other family would then find out through them) at about 17 weeks (only cos DP wanted to). Everyone else started to find out after I posted photos of a trip to QLD in June, when I was 6 months on, but there was no 'announcement' (again, that's how I wanted it) and people either saw my belly grow and said nothing or just asked if the bump was a baby! I didn't really show until I was abot 21-22 weeks, anyway, but it was perverse fun to have people unsure to ask in that in-between stage After all, they only want to know, they don't need to know until it's either really close to the due date or the baby is actually here!
With my first I knew most of my family would think I was too young (although I was married and our baby was very much planned, my family can be some what controlling!) nad it would be so hard for them to be happy for us, when I told them I made a big deal about saying how excited we are and how happy we are to be starting a family of our own. I blocked out everything else, such as my mother asking 'how far gone are you?!' or my dad sounding completely disgusted and not being able to speak to me for a while (apparently he never wanted children, so anyone stupid enough to have children in their 20's must have been off their head!), one of brother's just went on about how blown away he was as he is 8 years older than me and not even close to being ready for a family. Thankfully my other brother was so sweet and said 'Thats great news, you're going to make such a great mother', so thats the one I thought of when I thought about how it went telling the fam.
If there is only one person happy for you, just go with that. Make that stay in your mind and think of the kind of words that came out of that person's heart. Make sure you make a big deal infront of anyone that may not have been as happy as they should about what that beautiful person had said to you and how great it made you feel! They'll soon all turn around and share in your excitment!
This is your time, don't let anyone come in front of your joy and overwhelming excitment.
I know how you feel mrzbaby. I am almost 17weeks and still havent told anyone yet.
My brother and SIL have just (2weeks ago) had their much longed for IVF baby girl.
When we announced I was expecting number 4 it kinda caused a "blip" in our relationship with them. Gradually things got better, but during my pregnancy with him I felt as if I was doing something wrong< I know I wasnt and it was jealously but we pretty much stayed away from them and vice versa.
They are just fine with him now and with my other boys too but we decided to let them have their moment and warm fuzzies before we announced number 5 is on the way.
Trouble is I still dont know how to do it. Have I waited too long now and I am worried about how they are going to react this time. Knowing what they had to go through and here I am breeding like a gremlin after a bath!!!
Sorry to hijack but any ideas??
Just tell them your pregnant, how far along and if they ask why you 'took so long' (as if there's some mandatory requirement that you 'confess' at the 12 weeks mark at the latest!!), just say you wanted to have it to yourselves for longer. And I've said to people that it's less time they have to spend watching me be pregnant and they fastrack to the birth
My mum was offended - but that was about her and what SHE wanted...not about me and what I was comfortable with...no, that's just not important in her world! People get offended when they think something's about them, and far too many people assume they have more involvement in a pregnancy than they actually do and then disappear when you actually would appreciate their involvement...after the baby's here. Meanwhile, there's only so much they need to know and if they've made plans for holidays for when you're due or whatever, too bad - you don't need them there for the birth, or you would have told them sooner
i was only 16 at the time so i had to tell my parents straight away.. i was like 5 weeks..i told my dad he made a smartass comment and didnt say anything else. my mum was totally different but i couldnt care less..
my DH told his mum while she was cutting his hair(idiot right?)
this time i told all our family at 8weeks(3 days ago) as Bil & SIL are coming up to visit us..i wouldnt be able to hide why i wasnt well lol.
Thank you so much for the ideas...
I am going to try and squeeze another 3 weeks out of this beore the 'announcement'.
I google some and they were really good like printing a tshirt for the sibling to wear with somehting like I'm going to be a big brother....
Cute but I haven't got the children young enough to wear it!!!
Have my BIL and SIL coming up in October and were thinking of getting tshirts made for all the neices/ nephews when we go around for dinner for them to wear ( except mine will have going to be a big brother / sister ). Then seeing how long it takes for them to work it all out!. Only down side is not knowing what the reacition will be and having the children there might help...
My SIL will be ther and I don't know how she will go with me putting it on her son
will have to think a little more on that one ...hmmmmmm
to DF: *WAVE PEE STICK IN FACE* Loooooooooooooookk!!!
To Mum & Dad: I actually told them seperately... Mum went into overdrive about some herbs I'd been taking that you're not meant to while pregnant, so I had to explain to her that I had actually stopped taking them... after that she offered to babysit ><; Dad is a pretty "oh yeah" kind of guy so he was easy to handle to.
IL: DF told them by text message, resulting in OMG phone calls...
I think the longer you don't tell them the harder it will be. And either way it's going to hurt your SIL a bit... Hell my SIL announced she was preg about 3 months after we did and I STILL found that hard to handle because I was petrafied something was going to happen to my baby, and I'd have to watch her have her fourth while I went through losing another one.
GL, I know it's hard but think quick like a bandaid and remember you have your DH for support, Always remember to keep in mind what it would be like to be in the receiving end but also that this baby is your little miricle - who cares what other people are gonna think! I think the shirts may be a bit to "I'm rubbing it in your face" IMO, I'd give them a miss
Yep, I reckon just tell them, tell them how far along and as much as you can don't offer any justifications - it's YOUR news, YOUR body, YOUR baby, they're not even along for the ride because they are spectating. There IS NO RULE on by when you have to tell anyone about your pregnancy - it's so arbitrary and people expect to be told, based on sticky-beakiness.
Consider it good practice for later on when people will ask you how long you'll breastfeed for...as if it's ANY of their business and going to affect them (worse when you say you'll let the child self-wean...THEN the judgments really begin!).
Just tell them you have news and then tell them the news. It's up to them how they digest it - not you, no matter how you package it
If you are worried about the reaction do not do anything elaborate. Just announce it. I announced my last pregnancy by phone to my parents & IL's as that just seemed easier and gave them time to digest it.
telephone we announced with first, But this time number 5 we have had some announcement cards made up and i will be sending them along with my 18 week scan pic to all family. Just wanted to be sure that bub was o.k first
EDIT
just wanted to wish you all the best and support when telling your family, my step mother asked me about 4 weeks ago are you pregnant and i feel bad i said no as i didnt know what might happen and was protecting myself and family. as we had the low papp-a score and bad blood results for nt scan.
Last edited by squidipa; September 23rd, 2009 at 08:10 PM.
Yes you are right the t-shirts might be a bit to over the topp.
I thought it was such a good idea to announce....
I do like the ID Squid on the cards and the scan pic. I had thought of that idea but want everyone to sort of get it at the same time.
I cannot believe that I am over 30 and feeling like I am 16 having to tell everyone!!! .
We saw bub yesterday and was very cute laying on its back just relaxing....... Maybe I should follow it's lead!.
How did you announce your pregnancy ?
( I am a big girl anyhow ).
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Basically because I just was not up for all there "OMG you are having another one" type comments. I did wait until I was over 13 weeks.
(worse when you say you'll let the child self-wean...THEN the judgments really begin!).
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