DS is nearly 3 weeks old and from the 4th night in hospital I have given him a dummy to settle him. He is actually quite an easy baby to settle and we've hardly had a night where he has constantly cried but he has such a strong sucking reflex and seemed to want to feed a lot that we decided to give him one. Most times he sucks it for a bit and then spits it out but it does the trick. However, now I am wondering whether we have done the right thing.
Am I naive to think that we can choose when he has it, therefore making it easier to take off him altogether down the track? I really don't want to have a toddler who knows what their dummy is and constantly has it but I also want to get some sleep and jobs done at home too!
I am feeling slightly guilty for resorting to the dummy on occasions yet feel it's working and helps him sleep. What do you think??
If it's working for you babe, don't worry about it. He could easily decide he doesn't want it himself in the future. DD loved hers until 4 months, then spat it and wouldn't take it back. Then when she was 11 months she had tonsillitis and found one when she was walking around home, and in it went LOL. Don't sweat it, you're doing fine
I wouldn't worry about it personally. We never had any problems with the dummy. DS used to spit it out in his sleep and not wake up (although I know some do). We talked for a few weeks that after his 2nd birthday we would say goodbye. He put it in the bin himself and was fine after that. It was good leaving it till he could really understand what was happening. It was pretty much the same with my niece and she was super attached to her dummy.
If it gives them comfort I don't see the problem with it.
I'm not sure that once he gets used to it as a settling aid that you will be able to choose when he has it, unless you have a whole armoury of other settling techniques he's used to too.
Maybe I'm naive mate, but is a dummy really that big of a deal?
We just got rid of Darcy's - at 3 1/2. She was complicit, and it was pretty easy.
It worked the entire time to do what she needed it for.
oh please dont feel guilty, enjoy your little man, all three of my children have had dummies, Lachlan still uses his at night , the other two gave theirs up without a fight .
If it settles him and makes you and him happy then i would say its fine
DD had hers for just over 3 yrs also and handed hers over (for Santa) easily. (Never looked back)
DS is a dummy fan also.
If you're worried, you could try and just use it purely as a sleep aid and just not offer it at other times. I've heard of people that have done that successfully. I guess it's whatever they get used to and depends on the child.
We just got rid of DS's dummy at nearly 3 - so I understand the fear of having a toddler walking around with a dummy in his mouth. My nephew is nearly 4 and still has his dummy and is not looking like giving up in the near future either.
So I get where you are coming from.
BUT - if it helps at all, Miss M had one on and off till she was about 6 months, and then just refused to take it. So we didn't force the issue, and now there are no dummies in the house. We will probably offer it to the new baby, because it is a good settling tool if you are willing to use it - its always worked for me!! lol
So don't feel too much guilt - it doesn't have to become a big addiction for them unless you let it (ie, what I did with DS! Every time he would cry I would stick it in, cos thats what I thought you did - watching my sister do that with her kids.)
I felt sooo guilty about giving ds a dummy when he was born. He used to do the same as your ds, had a few sucks, went to sleep and would spit the dummy in his sleep. I always promised myself that at 6 months i would get rid of the dummy.
By the time he was 6 months he was just having a dummy for sleep and we decided to stick with it as it was working. By the time he was 8 months he had weened himself off the dummy all together. He now like to play with them and they live in his toy box.
Dont feel guilty, there are ways to get rid of the dummy when the time comes. Your DS may be like mine and refuse the dummy when he is ready, i wish i didn't stress myself out so much about it.
I have just had the same experience of dummy guilt, so I can totally relate. DS wouldn't take it for the first couple of months, but then when he was 8 weeks old he would fuss and not sleep unless I gave him my finger to suck. I didn't want this to ruin his teeth so I tried the dummy again and he took it.
He now goes to sleep with no fussing and a week later I LOVE the dummy. I didn't want him to suck his thumb, so would rather that he suck the dummy which I can take away when he is older.
I think if it works, you should use it and be happy that it makes life a bit easier for you, I doubt it will do any harm. Just make sure you have a few floating around so that if one gets lost you have another so that the baby will sleep.
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Dummy guilt!
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