She hurts herself!

[~mamaspice~]

I'm really really worried about DD's behavior.

Over the last few months there have been an increasing number of occasions where she just has a total meltdown.

Its usually late arvo/early evening and she's overtired (eg; a day she hasn't had a proper day sleep) and something happens to spark the meltdown (eg: todays was sparked by DH turning off the strawberry shortcake DVD after it had finished as it was the 2nd time she'd insisted on watching it today and it was dinnertime) And all of a sudden she is a total raging mess. Her whole head goes bright red and she just absolutely roars and throws herself around and there's nothing I can do to console her. They last for about half an hour, sometimes more and the part that worries me the most is that she purposely hurts herself during the meltdown. I have to constantly keep moving her away from the tiles or any of the furniture because she throws herself against it, but the worst part is that she scratches herself. Last time she ended up with a big scratch across her cheek. During this evenings episode she managed to put several scratches across her tummy before I was able to try and stop her doing it.

I worry about autism or a behavioral problem of some sort but in every other aspect she is a completely normal child. She talks, she shows emotion, she in involved in active play, she's reached all her milestones, her kindy teachers have not noticed anything out of the ordinary.

I don't know what we should do. Do we wait and see if she grows out of it? It just doesn't seem like a normal tantrum to me. I cannot walk away and ignore the meltdown because she'll hurt herself, and like I said, absolutely nothing helps.
Does anyone elses child do this?
I just don't know what to do. . .

[Ryatha]

oh hun, that does sound scarey

Our DD1 does this occassionally and has since she was quite little. I have spoken to Dr's about it (didn't really help us) so the main thing that DH and I are trying to do is explain and demonstrate to her healthier ways to cope with dissapointment. We show her that yes she can be angry and upset but to kick a pillow or verbalise how she feels. We also give her lots of warning about things that are going to happen so that she can prepare herself for the change.

It wont hurt to speak to the Dr about it, if nothing else they might be able to suggest things to help. It sounds like you are doing everything you can at the moment to help her.

[~mamaspice~]

Thankyou for your reply Ryatha. I've thought about mentioning it to the Dr, but I'm just scared I'll get a weird look back and not much else.

I really like your idea about explaining what changes are coming. Not sure if she's quite at the age yet where this might help in some situations but it's definately worth a try. I just so hope she grows out of this.

[Oorki Galoorki]

My DD is the same but pinching her face or arms or biting. my dd is a few weeks younger then yours..
when she is like this i dont stop her but i do talk calmly to her about hurting herself and that its easier to use her words then her body to tell me what she wants.. it has started to slow down but i am also not letting her get hungry and give her time (afternoons) to just let go..

[ladybird11]

DD does this rarely - and they're only short bursts when she does 'go off'...

How scary this must be for you! DD is more of a head banger .

DD is just under two, and I put her in the portacot until she cools down. She can't climb out of it nor hurt herself. Every now and then I'll offer her a distraction, whether it be food (if she's due for a snack) or a toy, and if she continues on her rampage she stays in the portacot. If she's over it she can come out.

Good luck!

[~mamaspice~]

Thanks Doudou, it's re-assuring to know that other toddlers respond this way to not knowing how to cope with their frustration/anger/overtiredness.

It's just such a challenging thing to deal with. I hate seeing her like that.

[~mamaspice~]

Thanks also Leesa.
The porta-cot is a good idea. We don't have one tho and it's pointless me putting DD in her normal cot becasue she just thashes her head and legs against the bars or purposely puts her legs throught he bars and gets herself stuck. I'm glad a distraction sometimes works for you. Unfortunately nothing distracts Charli mid meltdown.

[ladybird11]

ah, the old getting a leg caught in the cot bars....I can count a few times greasing DD's leg up with baby lotion to free it .

Is there a space in the house where you can put DD in place of a portacot? Kind of like a time out area where she can't get in or out of, which minimises her hurting herself?

[~mamaspice~]

Is there a space in the house where you can put DD in place of a portacot? Kind of like a time out area where she can't get in or out of, which minimises her hurting herself?

We have a big rug in the lounge where we normally try to put her. But sometimes she'll just purposely move off it and straight onto the tiles. Even if I had a padded cell there is still the issue of her scratching herself

[No.5]

This is a common occurance in our house with DS. He is a pincher/biter/head bangerscratcher.. the list just goes on!

He also can't be distracted and all I want to do is I find when I get frustrated with him, it gets worse.

It happens every other day here and I have no idea how to help but just wanted to offer some support.

[~mamaspice~]

Aww, Nella and thanks for the support. What is the go with these bubba's born in Sept 07?

[No.5]

No idea but they're little terrors hehehe

Hopefully they grow out of it real quick!