On October 5th at 5:59pm I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl, Amani Grace. I was 21 weeks 1 day. I had hoped, prayed for, and dreamed about this baby girl long before I found out I was pregnant. Instead of that being one of the happiest days of my life, it was one of the worst. Instead of happy tears, there was just tears of grief and mourning. My baby, who was supposed to stay in me for 19 more weeks was born.
It is now 5 weeks later. My heart is still broken. Will I ever get over this?
Oh hun, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to greive. Unfortunatly too many of us know what you are going through, but you have come to the right place. The ladies here are fantastic and so supportive. I don't know what i would have done if i hadn't found this site when we lost our little man. Big hugs hun.
Fly free little Amani Grace and watch over your mummy.
I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your precious little girl.
5 weeks isn't a long time - your grief is still very raw. I am sure life will get easier, but in the meantime, look after yourself.
My dearest blossom, I am so sorry your little daughter was born too soon and that you are now left so heartbroken.
For me, the heartache remains, but I am much better at managing it. So if I am a good example, "it" the dark, lonely, gut wrenching anguish filled times do pass, to be replaced by an enduring sadness, which is much less debilitating and I am told, for some eventually hope.
My best advice, which is not new, is be gentle on yourself. It's hard to know what that means when everything hurts so much,and nothing makes sense. For everyone it will be different. For me it meant - allowing myself to grieve the loss of my babies and also the interruption of my parenting dream and not placing expectations on myself and accepting the hardest days with the less tough days. It also meant making deliberate decisions to surround myself with people who were supportive and didn't place expectations on me. It also meant seeking help when I needed it - via forums, grief and loss support groups and counseling.
It also meant taking it one moment at a time. Give yourself time to heal,at 5 weeks everything is just so raw, even though at times it feels like an eternity.
I am so very sorry for you and your DH losing precious Amani. It is a devastating journey and you will never get over it hun. I am told you just learn to live with it. I can only vouch for a portion of that as I am 7 months on and still completely devastated. We all go through this differently and you can be assured that each of us have a very normal and horrible journey to share. Sweety be kind to yourself and go day to day until you can handle more. If you ever need to talk, don;'t hesitate. For me I am not sure that in my circumstance everything had fully hit me at 5 weeks. Again we are all different and the shock of losing your little one is unbearable.
Take care hun and be kind to yoruself.
Love HM xx
I am so sorry to read about your loss.
There is not a day that I don't think about my angels. It does get a little easier with time but the pain does not go away.
Reply With Quote
Registered User
My Angel
Bookmarks