Better to be innocent or cynical?

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I've just had the biggest blow up with one of my sisters, and I don't even understand why. I say something, or someone else says something, and its like all the negative energy is sucked out of our comment and kept close, while our true intentions are thrown away.

I'm the first to admit that I'm pretty innocent, even naive at time. Definitely an optimist. Am I supposed to become a bit more worldly, a bit more cynical? LOL, all of my sisters say I'm a soft touch, but I'm not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing.

This isn't a vent, I promise - I just want others opinions, is it better to be innocent or cynical?

[Traveller]

I think it is better to be cynical, but nicer to be innocent. I really wish I could trust people and take them at face value but experience has taught be this is not wise.

Me, bitter and twisted? Never

[Tinks]

I think it is better to be cynical, but nicer to be innocent.

:yeahthat:

[Lulu]

I don't think there is anything bad about being a cynic - just not a bitter one.

The bitter cynics are the ones that will roll their eyes or take a negative view of something you have said.
Others will listen to what you say, and even if they don't agree (being cynical) but smile cos even if they don't agree with your view or think you will 'suffer' for it will think it's lovely and know that you are genuinely one of the sweetest people around

[C~Q]

Grrr lost my post!

Basically I said that I'm more innocent and sometimes wish I could be more cynical but not jaded IYKWIM?

I came on here before and read and didn't post then I was reading some quotes and found one that I thought i'd share...

Cynicism is not realistic and tough. It's unrealistic and kind of
cowardly because it means you don't have to try.

- Peggy Noonan

[ladybird11]

I agree with Lulu.

I'm not a bitter cynic - but I am cynical. Thanks to my 'paid employment' that is .

[Bathsheba]

I think I am predisposed to be naive (trusting/innocent) but life experience is teaching me to be worldly/cynical.... so at this rate i am set to be a grumpy old woman any day now It used to make me feel sad. Maybe it still does. I don't have the answer. I try re-labelling my cynicism as self preservation and/or realism. I don't feel under any pressure to be cynical or risk being "uncool" like I used to when i was in my teens/early 20's now though. Interesting thread

[onthefly]

Maybe it's better to be innocent - You can just take things as they come and enjoy life more, rather than reading into everything or expecting the worst....

[Bathsheba]

People get really annoyed if you are innocent all the time though... you tend to get called "Pollyanna" alot I do agree though Marcellus... it would mean a happier life.

[Trillian]

Maybe it's better to be innocent - You can just take things as they come and enjoy life more, rather than reading into everything or expecting the worst....

I was going to say something along those lines too. It's a Catch 22 situation - if you are too innocent you end up in all sorts of trouble, and people take you for a ride but if you're too cynical you can miss out on so much of the fun stuff and lose opportunities to meet great people and have great experiences. I think you need to find the happy medium where you have a good dose of both so when you find yourself in a certain situation you can use what you need to and read the situation better and avoid a lot of the messy bits.

[Butterfly Child]

I'd definently say im nieve, definently not as much as i use to be anyway.. i think i am turning alittle cynical though.. abit by my life experiences so far but thats to be expected i guess..hmmm

[onthefly]

Could you be innocent but wise to other peoples' cynicism... or does that just make you cynical too?
I feel like the minute you start worrying about people taking you for a ride, you're being cynical... sigh.
I like innocent people, for what it's worth, they are so refreshing and lovely!

[C~Q]

I've been thinking about this a lot and last night I was reading something that I thought i'd share. It about being centred about everything...about being balanced. So a crisis can bring a blessing and a blessing can also trigger a crisis. When we realise that everything is balanced then it takes away innocence and cynacism;

"When you know that bad things aren't so terrible and good things aren't so terrific, you can be quietly grateful for whatever occurs. Balance is neither pessimism or optimism. It doesn't lean to one side or the other, but sits poised in the middle. It is "gratefulism" and that is both wisdom and true power. All things are balanced, and when you know it, you remain true to yourself rather than being driven by your hopes and fears. You stay present on your path."

Thats's what i'm striving for, so it's not even really a happy medium...it's like there is no optimism or cyncism there is just balance.

Does that make sense?

[Bathsheba]

Perfectly CQ

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

What a great explanation CQ! Although I wonder if that could be interpreted as 'numb' in a way? I never liked feeling numb, I prefer to be happy. But then if its a choice of numb or desperately sad, I'd choose numb, so I suppose its all relative...

Thanks for sharing that quote!

[C~Q]

I know what you mean, and that kind of bothers me to, although i'm sure thats not what they mean but I don't want to be devoid of all emotion - like a robot. Having said that i've only just finished the first chaptor of the book so it'll probably go into it in more detail

[Lulu]

Oh geeez no WAY does it mean devoid of emotion or numb! Half the reason you get to that balance point is because of your emotions.

If you have that inner balance it's because you can see clearly what's going on around you - or that you have your own truth/vision or whatever and that's all that matters.

So if you have an idea of your own and your sis puts it down or it feels like she is putting you down or whatever - when you feel balanced/centred/happy about your own stuff you will be able to see that it's her opinion and it doesn't change the way you think/feel about things.

OR if someone gives you another viewpoint (not matter how crappy they deliver it to you), you can consider it and accept/reject according to you and your viewpoint/feelings.

So the middle ground between them both would be clarity?

[Lulu]

and I don't think you have to give up being happy to be cynical either...