Did you find two to three cost much more $$?

[MrsFabuloso]

One of my DH's reasons for not wanting to have any more children is that he wants to be able to give our children everything they want and need. He had a pretty tight upbringing and feels he missed out on alot because of it. He doesn't want that for our children. But I don't see our circumstances ever being the same or even similar to his familys'. His father was badly injured before he was born and as a result couldn't work. His mother was his carer, and never went back into the paid workforce after she had her children. She did some work from home, making cakes and crafts, but nothing that ever really made alot of money.

Where as we both have good jobs and are both driven people. I don't see any kind of hard ship befalling us (though I guess noone ever looks at life that way!). And while I can see where he's coming from and can understand his want to provide for our children well, I don't think one more baby would be that much more than the two we already have. I mean I know a baby won't be much more, but as they grow they get more expensive. While we don't want our kids to go to catholic or private schools, we do want to give them a good education and extra curricular activities, etc. But I don't want to go crazy! One or two each is enough!! We aren't really extravigant people either.

But should this stop us? Is it really that much more exxy going from two to three??

[Arimeh]

We don't see going from 2 -3 as being much more expensive. (but I can let you know for sure.. LOL)

However, that is the reason that stops us from going from 3-4 so I know where your DH is coming from. Cos my DH is exactly the same.

I just think with 3 you can recycle clothes and toys (especially if you have them close together ) so it doesn't really cost THAT much.

But, I'm of the opinion that you can get away with having a 3 bedroom house with 3 kids, and there a lots of people out there that wouldn't agree

[MrsFabuloso]

God Mel, I'm thinking three in a two bed unit.....for a while anyway!

[Astrid]

Where as we both have good jobs and are both driven people. I don't see any kind of hard ship befalling us (though I guess noone ever looks at life that way!).

Please don't ever assume that, I almost lost DH a few years ago due to illness and prior to that he was out of work due to a back injury. Many a time we have done well with the 2 incomes and other times we have absolutely struggled due to one of us being unexpectedly out of work. What you can do to minimise the damage of something going wrong is to get some form of insurance, income protection, trauma and life. Sorry to be doom and gloom, but you can never rely on what income you have now and your ability to continue earning that income in the future.

[Liz]

lilias - if we're successful getting #3 we'll have 3 in a 3br house... but one of the bedrooms is the office... so essentially they'll all be sharing at some stage if we don't upgrade in a few years (#3 would be in our room for a year or so and then coming in to us for another year or so, if anything like it's siblings! haha) I think you can make any bedroom arrangement work... it's not an essential that each child needs it's own room.

As for expenses... hmm... initially I don't see us spending anything much except for a new car seat. We have everything else. But as they grow, there'll be extra preschool fees, and anything else you enrol them in, sport/music/swimming whatever you want to do (mind you, these aren't essentials either LOL). But I can see the financial impact later on rather than straight away if that makes sense.

We already have a car that would accomodate 3 kids (or more) so that wouldnt' be a problem, but at some stage I think I would prefer to move up to a 4br house... just wait & see I guess. Not a fan of moving, so if this rental ends up being THAT long term, we could just rethink where our computers live in order to have 2 bedrooms for the kids.

I think it's just one of those things that you just MAKE work. Probably a good idea to keep financial hardship in mind tho... perhaps have income protection insurance or something in place so you're not hit so hard if something does happen. (oh... just read the other replies... yeah.. what Astrid said LOL)

[MrsFabuloso]

Astrid, not doom and gloom, just reality! I am not oblivious to the fact that sadly bad things can (and do) happen. DH does have life and income insurance. So we are covered a bit if (God fobid) any hardship of that nature were to befall us.
But should that stop us having another child? Gosh if I thought that way, I would never have had children!!

We are planning on moving sometime in the not too distant future. Probably to a 3-4br house. We are not planninng on staying here for more than a year or so from now, so the housing thing IS going to change no matter whether or not we have more children. We would like to get a new car too, though that was in the longer term future, rather than a year or so. If we had another child though we could probably make do with the car we have but it would be very tight!

When I look at all of the negatives of having another child, it does outweigh the positives. Thinking rationally I probably shouldn't even entertain the thought.....but having children can be sooo irrational!

[Trillian]

You can fit 4 in a 3 br house LOL. It wasn't an issue for us financially to go from 2 to 3 because #3 was another girl, so I had all the clothes for a start. They were born in different seasons - 2 was a Spring bub and 3 was a winter one and at first I did have to buy a lot of clothes for each of them, but now I am reaping the benefits because 3 gets 2's hand-me-downs. When it came to big ticket items like beds, we only had our eldest in a bed at the time, 2 was still in the cot and 3 was just about to go into the cot, so we went and brought 3 beds all at once, financed it with no interest terms and got them for $1100 and they were good quality timber slat beds wtih a matress etc. If you are smart about it, you can save loads of money. Plus you already have everything - pram, car seat, cot etc. I came from a situation similar to your DH's too and I feel the same, you don't want them to miss out but I've realised that there is more to it than just being able to buy *stuff*, because stuff isn't important. You can give them what you didn't get as a child without having to buy a roomful of toys. My kids never go without, but we do it in a way that means we can have this many children.

[Tanya]

TBH, I am dreading the high school years!! One in HS is expensive.... I can only imagine how it's going to be when I have all of them in HS.... *sigh*

[Astrid]

When I look at all of the negatives of having another child, it does outweigh the positives. Thinking rationally I probably shouldn't even entertain the thought.....but having children can be sooo irrational!

I look at it this way, if you want another, you want another, if you don't, then you don't. I am not having any more, I just plain don't have the desire to. I have many reasons for not going for another (financial, age, health, lifestyle etc), but at the end of the day if I really wanted 3 children, then those reasons would not matter, we would make it work.

[mbear]

Youve GOT to consider your financial stiuation in this dilema...and for me, thats what determines when to stop having children...coz my sanity is ok, my body can handle it...but its the financial strain that holds a big stop sign in front of my face that says no more children.
I would have 6.... but my DH has said no more - and i know its due to the finacnial strain HE feels....He works 2 jobs, long hours....time with the kids is precious. He doesnt want to be working full on till he is 65, and why should he.
So in answer to your question - going from 2 -3 doesnt cost money initially. But having 3 children does get more and more expensive as they grow older. Ive got my first in school this year, and you can just see the cost of my first baby rising....so maybe think past the babies first year of life...and picture 3 teenagers, or picture holiday with your older children. Doable? Affordable?
Agree with Tanya.....4 in high school one day....eek !!!!
GL

[~Raven~]

We're just seeing now how it can get a bit costly with 2 in school and #3 starting kinder next year so. School fees, activities etc eat into the budget. My oldest do swimming lessons which cost about $300 per term and we'll also be starting #3 next year. A trip to the play centre doesn't leave me with much change out of $50 and don't even talk about how much money we spent at the aquarium for M's birthday, but then realistically we would have spent more on a party at home I reccon Maccas for dinner costs about $30 too to feed all of us.

I guess we balance it out though by not splurging out as much as we used to. When we only had a couple of kids and our mortgage was smaller I don't think we had much more extra disposable income. Or maybe we did but it was wasted lol. I do stuff like Christmas club through the year to save for pressies. I bake heaps which the kids prefer in their school lunches.

Our car is an ex fleet bog standard commodore station wagon that we got cheap because it had a lot of K's and we put a di ckie seat into the back of it. We could have taken out a loan and got ourselves a nice flash people mover or a 4wd but didn't want to commit to more debt just to get around.

Our home is a 4br and quite big so we're lucky in that respect that space isn't an issue. The two older boys are bunked up together and it works well for them.