Sons father never wanted me to go ahead with pregnancy, made some threats which lead me to get a full exemption from CL ie. I didn't pursue him for CS, as I got the exemption.
Fast forward to when son is 1 year old, and he decides that he want to be a somewhat part of his life. Won't sign BC. Doesnt' want to be pursued for maintenance. I hoped that he would come around eventually.
Son is now 3, and his father puts in a few hundred dollards every six months to a year for his swimming. I had thought by now he would agree to regularly pay for him, but won't commit to it. After many attempts to encourage him, he made further threats about taking me to court to have custody of our son if I pursue him, and to make life difficult.
after these threats and many let downs, I have had enough. I no longer want anything from him, and certainly not his money because he thinks that i am after him for money. But he just put another $300 in my account last week, he did that 6 months ago too. I would prefer to go without than to have money given to us cause then he expects things.
What I am concerned about though because I have an exemption, is taking this money from his going to get me in trouble? Because when I signed the Stat Dec back when son was a baby, the father wasn't involved and I was concerned about him trying to take son away from me if I push for maintenance.
The thing is - I still am. If not, I am more afraid, because he has the money and the moment I put him in to CSA, he will make life difficult for me and my son. He has the attitude - I want to see what I pay for. He lives 6 hours away mind you.
Talk to Centrelink and see what they have to say. They might be able to give you some advice of what to do and who to talk to. I imagine they see this often.
accepting child support and not notifying c'link can be seen as defrauding the system, so you really need to notify of the money you've been receiving. the fact you have contact and it's not a situation of DV, you shouldn't have an exemption on your file. it is ONLY there for situations of paternity unknown or threats of violence, not for threats of custodial challenges. that's part and parcel of being a seperated parent.
living six hours away doesnt' negate his financial obligation to the child. paying child support does not automatically entitle him to access to the child. it would have to go through mediation and through the courts if access could not be agreed. there is no judge that would grant shared custody at this point - he MAY be granted visitation - and really, it's your childs father - if there is no violence, maybe this is something you should be striving for anyway!
you need to upfront with c'link. all it would take is ONE phone call from him or someone that knows him to report he's been paying child support, and it could get you in a bit of a pickle with payments being made that you may not have been entitled to - as soon as you resume contact and there is no threat of physical violence, you need to tell c'link. even WITH a threat of violence, if he's paying you child support, you need to fess up
this might sound a bit blunt, but others will read this so i want to make it very clear - if you don't report all money's received when you have an exemption, you may have a debt raised against you or it may even go further in regards to charges for defrauding the government - NOT where you want to be going!
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Exemption - is what I am doing wrong?
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