How im going to work on making the best of this situation

[Butterfly Child]

This is just to let out what im going to try and make work between me and Xp,probably sounds abit weird that im writing it down here but i guess doing so will help me make sense of it all and that im trying my best, for dd to make things stay happy and civil as possible for the future(and now)!

- i need to try and move on with what has happened and remember it is in the past i just need to do whats right for dd. (ive already been doing this but just a reminder when he does something wrong it sometimes all comes out my anger and the fact i haven't forgiven him)

-i need to try and go out of my way to be friendly with xp

-i need to try and let xp have more time with dd without me there (which is hard as she freaks out when i leave the room and xp doesnt really have any idea what he's doing when she cries)

- Include him in more things with dd ( this i try to do, but its a matter of him being there really, only so much i can do )

All this said i have tried my hardest and will always continue to, as all i want is whats best for grace, but it is hard when he continues to let her down, which he just doesnt get sometimes i try and protect her from that which does cause strife and more anger which builds up inside. its fair enough he let me down before she was born but i don't want to see it happening to her..

to those who know my story this probably sounds amess and doesnt make much sense .. just need to let out my plan for this week.. my statergies are in place at trying to be my best in this situation and for grace..but i need to remember i can control wat i do.. but not what he does..

[Butterfly Child]

Thx mum1984 for your reply,

im really struggling with being ready to let him have her without me nearby, im just not ready yet theres no trust there, he's never wanted to change a nappy, and she just doesnt know him yet he is not totally consistent with his visiting doesn't understand most things about what she does day to day (i try to explain things when hes here and it just goes in one ear and out the other).. and i just dont know what i can do to make myself feel better about the whole thing..its like im trusting the most precious thing in the world to a complete stranger, he's just not the person i though i knew.. how do i move on from that how do i become the better person? sorry theirs prob alot of questions no one can really answe, im in a place right now of learning and growing to accept everything as it is but its hard thing to face sometimes im continualling battling with it...

i hear all you beautiful single mums out there, and hear how strong you guys are and how you all do it why cant i?? i just wish i had the strength you all have i feel as though im just battling with this one thing and i cant get passed it, i see the other side but i can't get there IYKWIM