Pocket money - what age & how much?

[Liz]

So the thought has crossed our minds to start giving DS pocket money. He's 3 (will be 4 in March) and just recently started asking for specific things. We've explained to him that he just can't have everything he wants when he wants it. Of course the question is "why?". I explain that we need money to buy these things, but we also need money to pay for our home and for food & clothes. He gets this... it's been one of the reasons we've given him for why daddy has to go to work each day hehe.

Last time he asked for something I said "do you have any money?" and he said no. I said, neither do I right now, so it'll have to wait.

I know he won't get the numbers/math/value side of things, but I think it wouldn't hurt to start him saving up for some things?

So what age did you start pocket money? and how much? I knew a family that did $1 for each year old they were.. so a 5yr old got $5 a week. But that was a while ago LOL.. would that be stingy these days considering how expensive stuff is? Or do you maybe think that's too much already? So DS I guess would start at $3 a week, and go up to $4 in March. Since he won't really understand adding up the money and how much stuff costs.. at least he'd have some money on hand to contribute to whatever we were buying him..and help him learn to decide whether to keep it for something bigger/better or to just spend it.

Sorry... bit of a ramble. Would love to hear what you guys have done and how it's worked for you? Oh - and even any book or website recommendations on this topic would be appreciated too

Thanks!!

ETA: I might also add I'm not keen on associating his pocket money with chores done.. as chores around the house need to be done regardless.. don't want him thinking you get paid for them! hehe. Maybe a bonus here and there for being extra helpful might be thrown in tho I think we're thinking along the lines of pocket money being a teaching tool rather than just payment for work.. if that makes sense.

[Trillian]

I think a general 'rule of thumb' is $1 for every year of their age, so he would start off with $3 then move up to $4 etc. We don't really do pocket money, but I will buy them stuff every now and then if they have been keeping their rooms clean and helping out if I ask them too. I get what you are saying about not associating chores with money, but we see it as teaching them that you do have to work for your money, that unfortunatley there isn't anyone to just give it to you for nothing kwim? As much as it would be nice if there were LOL

[Liz]

Yeah.. I was just thinking about that actually... that they still need to learn about earning money... might have to think about that one. Perhaps I'll find some out of the ordinary jobs especially for earning some money.. not just every day stuff like making beds etc. I can totally see the leverage tho of being able to threaten no pocket money if he doesn't help out LOL. hmm... will definitely think about that one.

[maz]

we do 50c for each year otherwise id be broke ROFL.
We also put $10 into their bank accounts every fortinight whicht hey know about and have explained that its for when they are older and might need a car.

I get what your saying about the chores also but im with Trill, they need to know that money isnt just given to them for nothing. Earning it by doing specific chores, say feeding the fish or emptying out the recycling bin for example. Buy a money box to so he can 'save' the money. Maybe start with a small goal of something he'd like and help him to save up for it and let him pay for it himself (with you there of course). Its amazing how much they love it and how empowered they feel about doing it themselves

[Astrid]

At the moment we are using coins to help DD1 behave a bit better. She was the same at the shops, always demanding toys and we just struggled to get through to her that we did not have the money to buy her one every time.

So now at the end of the day we go though all the things she has done, set the table, played nicely with her little sister etc, was good for mummy. She will get a coin for each thing, but she will also lose a coin for back chatting etc. It seems to have helped, she is not so demanding at the shops and will often just go and look at the item she is saving for. We do help her out to buy the toy that she wants.

I suppose we are using coins a bit like a sticker chart. At some point we will graduate to proper pocket money.

[Liz]

Yeah, think I'm gonna back track on the whole not associating it with chores thing LOL. having thought about it.. there's no other way really to teach the whole earning thing at the moment. I think the thing that scared me off it was I've seen so many kids refuse to do anything extra unless they get paid. How do you avoid that? Do you have set chores? or is it for general co-operation and helpfulness?

Hmm... your coin thing could be good Astrid. DS back chats at the moment, and when he's upset says horrible things like "go away" or "kill you" (and is teaching his sister!!) so perhaps once he has a bit of a grasp of what his own money can mean to him, this might work for us in some way too. Stickers don't seem to mean much to him and he loses focus on charts that move back & forth and don't seem to get to the end LOL. Tried it for getting him to remember to flush & wash hands after using the loo.. but it seemed to constantly go backwards LOL so the chart just didn't seem to work. But if he twigs at the concept of money and what it can mean for him, it could well work as a 'star chart' for us too.

[Astrid]

The coins can be very hit and miss some days. There are days where she demands coins and asks will she get a coin for doing something. So I also try to reinforce that we also do things as it is a nice thing to do, so where possible I am using praise (which is hard, as she is a really hard to deal with at the moment). We tried to make sure with her first toy that she did not have to wait too long to get it, so she did not lose interest.