Toddler who wont Share

[studymum]

HELP, DD is 20months and has suddenly decided to be one of those non-sharing, its all mine, you cant have it even though I am not playing with it, children. She is getting rather over dramatic about it and it usually is completed with some major vocalisation and tantrum.

It first started with her toys at home, she is an only child so far and seems very protective over her personal toys and doesnt have other children over often, but now she is doing it at my sister's and Nana's with her cousins. One is exactly her age and the other is 4 1/2 yrs. I can sort of undestand her having issues with the older cousin, who is going through her own stage of purposefully annoying the younger children and taking toys. Yet she hasnt done it at childcare from what I have been told yet.

We are trying the whole 'share' guidelines I have read about, of giving the toy back to the other child and tellin them to share and how its naughty, giving her other options to play with instead. She gets time out if she gets to violent.

None of it is working, the information I have read just seems like it is for older children who can understand more of the consequences.

Has anyone got any advice for around this age. I know its just probably a phase but I dont want her taking the habit and running with it.

[Blixie]

my DD is doing the same thing

I was told that at that age they aren't doing it to be nasty they just haven't grasped the concept of sharing. I just tell Lyla that she isn't being very nice and she will make *insert name* sad and to say sorry (she cant actually SAY sorry yet so she'll usually give a hug or just go sit down and do her own thing.)

I'll be watching this thread for tips. Good luck with your DD

[girlonamission]

Hi ladies,

My son is almost 3 and he's been the same for a good 12 months now - so I'll be watching this one as well! I too was told they're not doing it to be naughty or spiteful, its just a developmental phase they go through around this age. All we can do is try to enforce rules about sharing, explaining that they have to share etc, as Jessey said.

We are having problems too with not only sharing his stuff, but him taking toys etc off his little brother who is 9 months and now crawling around and showing a real interest in play with toys. DS1 seems to think that any toys DS2 got for Christmas recently are actually his, not DS2's. So we've really been struggling there. I guess its hard for a little guy who's been so used to being the centre of attention and having everything to himself to suddenly understand he needs to share it with another little person. But at the same time, it can be quite frustrating for us!

In the time being, I just keep trying to enforce the sharing rule, and keep on explaining and intervening when necessary, in the hope that we might start to see some positive results soon!

Good luck