Facebook and your kids

[Tinks]

My Ds will be getting a FB account in a couple of mths when he turns 13 because I've told him that I WILL NOT lie about his age for him (but that's another kettle of fish).

My question is to parents who have their children as 'friends' on their FB accounts.

I am probably over thinking this but I see FB as my own private sanctuary where I can write what I want - whether it be my silly drunken ramblings or just useless crap which he really doens't need to see. When my son is on FB I don't think I want him seeing all of my stuff, yet I want to be able to see everything that goes on on his account. I just feel as though FB crosses the line between parent and friend. Of course I am his friend (so to speak) but above all I am his parent and should be respected as such.

What do other parents do? Do you have your FB account open so your kids can see everything?

[BrightSparkles]

if you put him in your limited profile list and set his up so that your in an access everything list - does that work??

[briggsy's girl]

you can block things that you don't want him to see hun - the little padlock after status updates allows that now. as much as you want to be open with your kids, if you're venting saying he's been a right turd today, you don't want that getting to him!

[Rouge]

I'm more concerned about my kids privacy than my own iykwim? That's easy to fix it's harder to maintain a child's account unless you have access and are monitoring activity daily.

FB is a no zone for our kids (and yes they are younger) but DD thinks she can't have an FB account till she's an adult so I'm holding onto that as long as I can LOL!

[Tinks]

I'm more concerned about my kids privacy than my own iykwim? That's easy to fix it's harder to maintain a child's account unless you have access and are monitoring activity daily.

FB is a no zone for our kids (and yes they are younger) but DD thinks she can't have an FB account till she's an adult so I'm holding onto that as long as I can LOL!

Thta's what I told my kids too but some of their friends have FB accounts (grr) and they asked if they could have one as well. After researching I found the age was 13 and told them they could have one then.

I totally agree with you Rouge, I am more concerned about my childrens privacy than my own. My kids internet activity is always monitered and always will be. THeir FB accounts (when tehy get them) will be secure. I will make sure of that.

I think my question came across badly, I meant to ask whether other parents of teenagers share everything on their FB.

[blessedatlast]

Yeah, I have thought of this too as my brother is on FB.. He is only 12 so must have lied about his age! I write some bizzare stuff sometimes, but probably nothing I wouldn't say IRL anyway.. Mum is his friend on FB. I will have to ask her.. I think she would be the same though, I don't think she would write anything that wouldn't be said IRL.. Probably not much help there! Sorry

[Caz1971]

DS is 13 and has his own a/c, but i monitor it (i know the password), we often go on it tog. I cannot believe what some of the kids are writing on there and alot of them are even younger and "in a relationship" with such and such. Luckily , he is not into girls - yet.

[Traveller]

I know a few people who have 2 facebook profiles, 1 for normal use and one for family so they can keep track of teenage kids/let their parents still believe they are sweet and innocent. Perhaps that could work for you?

[Bathsheba]

I have a love-hate relationship with FaceBook!

To answer your question: Until recently I had my 15yo DD on my friends list and she had me on hers. Then we asked her to deactivate her account because it was causing no end of problems. But yes she was able to see all my status and photos but i lead a pretty tame life i agree with rouge that my child's safety is more important than my own privacy too.

Just one thing to note though: it seems that once your child has set up a FB account then you can't really deactivate it It seems that our DD has managed to over ride the schools firewall against FB by using a proxy site and she has simply been able to reactivate it. I sometimes wish she had never opened up an account in the first place. FB was the scene for so much negative and secretive behaviours BUT it also allowed DH and i to gain some insight... double edged sword.

Delay until 13 and then make sure he has you as a full access 'friend'.... ETA: and try to make sure he doesn't amass 500 friends...

[PumpkinZulu]

My BIL has a fb account...he is 10! BUT, it is super locked down, very private, and he never updates a status, or even has any pictures. He uses it to play games and communicate with his family overseas.

[Lisa]

My DS1 & DD1 both have facebook accounts.
My DD1 lied about her age for it and I was okay with that as it was her way of keeping in touch with friends from where we used to live.
I monitor everything to do with my kids facebook accounts. Both of my kids have me & DH as friends. I don't keep anything from them... if I am venting about them they will see it. If something is said on there that they don't want to see, they don't really have to look.
I have my kids passwords to FB & email. I monitor who they add also. I often do a friend cull for them as sometimes it seems that they have excessive amounts of 'friends' whom they never chat to. I also have a secret facebook account that I use to check on the privacy settings each time facebook decides to change something.