and the worst mother award goes to..

[Antheia]

yep, me! I bet no one can top this.

Tonight Lily wouldn't eat her dinner and then she started chucking a tantrum over it so i told her to have a time out in her room. She didn't move and kept on with the tanty, so i ignored her.

Then she comes to me screaming in face, 'fine, im going to run away from home!'. Not wanting to give her the attention she was after i said 'ok bye bye'. A few minutes later i saw her walk out the front door with an arm full of her current favourite toys. She got down to the end of the driveway and stood there looking sad and worried.

I just cannot believe she actually did it. She is 5 years old. How does a 5 year old comprehend something like this? I knew she was mature for her age but i did not think it'd ever come to something like this. She thought i was serious and in her mind I told her to leave. I feel completely terrible and torn up inside..

[~MummaBear~]

oh no hun, i have no advice but i couldnt jsut leave this thread here..
I am sure it is something that most of us have said to our kids without thinking that they would take it seriously. You are not the worst mother, you just said something that you now regret. If you really were the worst mother you wouldnt care and you wouldnt be in here beating yourself up about it.

Go give you DD an extra cuddle, im sure she will forget about it in the morning
:hugs:

[C~Q]

Hun, I used to do that all the time, don't beat yourself up...and yep, I was about 5. I wou;d walk to the bottom of the street and sit there because I wasn't allowed to cross the road.

Just give her a huge cuddle and tell her that you love her. I wouldn't let her see that you're too cut up though - it'll give her leverage to do it again!

[Tinks]

Don't feel too bad, every kid does something like that.

My DD did that too at about 4 or 5. She'd done something really bad, I yelled at her and sent her to the verandah. I'd actually forgotten about her so went outside to tell her to come in and she wasn't there. I looked around the yard, still nowhere to be seen so I went out the gate to see her walking towards our house. I asked her where she'd been and she replied iwth "I walked around the block to find a nicer house to live in". I was irate, purely becuase she'd gotten off the verandah and walked around the block by herself. I sent her to her bedroom where she proceded to pack a bag with all her favourite things in it so she could leave home. SO....I told her she couldn't take anything nice if she left home and started packing all the 'ugly' clothes she hated. As I packed each item I gave her a run down of how ugly it was and how she hated wearing it so she could leave home with it. When I was packing the grey tracksuit pants (from Safeway) which she detested and absolutely REFUSED to wear, she decided she'd live with us

[*star*]

No, you're definitely not the worst mother! I think this happens to most people with their kids - when you put out a threat that you don't believe but the kids do!

When I was a kid all four of us were fighting in the back of the car on the way home from school- one of my brothers being the protagonist. Mum stopped the car and told him to get out. So he did and ran to the train station and proceeded to catch the oncoming train home by himself instead of get back in the car. I know mum was mortified and felt like a terrible parent when my brother assumed she meant it when she said to get out of the car.

All part of the learning process (for all of us!)

[Rainbow_Mumma]

My 5 year old (well 5 in 3 months) "ran away" yesterday too not getting her own way. I dont have any advice for you as Im going through the same thing but I do understand how you feel. When my DD said she was running away I was that frustrated with her I asked her if she would like me to help her pack (obviously not meaning it just trying to use it as a scare tactic)

[Jas]

awww you poor thing.

Personally I think it is ok and actually healthy to apologise to our kids when we make mistakes. As a parent I ask ds to apologise when he has done something wrong to me and I think it is only fair that I too apologise if I do something to him that wasn't right. So if you arestill feeling bad thats probably what I would suggest. I would reiterate that her behaviour was still unacceptable yada yada yada but that you shouldn't have had that reaction and of course you don't want her to run away you just want her to behave yada yada yada that way it is cleared up and Lily will know that of course you don't want her to run away (which I am sure she already does) and u don't have to feel bad anymore

[[M]umma[M]ia]

your not the worst mother. Kids will be kids and we all make mistakes about things we say to our children. Dont dwell on it... no one is perfect.

[montyp]

You could be a much worse mother, Antheia .. you could drive without restraining DD .. or with her in your lap, while you're on the phone, texting, or twittering / updating your FB status!!!

I have no experience in these matters at all, but will probably find out about these things when "Squishie" grows up .. the helping-to-pack ruse is a popular one: I have heard it many times.

I don't know what I'm going to be like when the time comes when "Squishie" wants to run away from home ...

[Nai]

I "ran away" when I was 5 too - I packed my suitcase and dragged it down the driveway (it was too heavy to carry). I don't think you're a bad mother - it's something kids do and it's a new way for her to express her anger and emotions.

[Lulu]

I tell them to come home when they are hungry...this way they have a way of letting themselves off the hook!

[Mother Goose]

Antheia, I did this at age 5 too. Except I got a suitcase and packed clothes and toys. And you know what? My parents actually helped me pack it! They even helped me climb on my bike and balance the suitcase Off I road down the street, all the way to my besties house where I spent the night (later found out that my parents had called them whilst I was riding my bike to pre-warn them) and Dad was following in the car not far behind me.

[Muppity]

I remember the time I ran away. I was about 6 and it took me so long to pack that I had lost my audience.

We had just had stranger danger at school and had been told that we should never leave the house without leaving a note - so I did and they still have it...

"I have run away. Do not worry. I will be back soon."

Clearly I wasn't quite as committed as I could have been

[MummyTummy]

Oh Muppity that is hilarious!!

Yes i think it is quite a normal thing for children to do. But it isn't all bad, because it will show them what the consequences of their actions/words are. Just so long as you debrief about it later and tell them you would have missed them and you love them even if you are angry with them etc.

I remember threatening to run away numerous times when I was little. My parents always said if I leave, I go as I came....i.e. completely naked and no toys etc..... too mortifying for me!!

When I was slightly older I think I did run away - for about 20 minutes. I got bored up my tree and decided to go home!! But I suppose that it is just self-imposed timeout to calm down and start to think rationally again.... so, yep, not all bad!!

[Tanya]

You have to save this story for when she is 21... that is so CUTE!

[Mummato2]

I remember the time I ran away. I was about 6 and it took me so long to pack that I had lost my audience.

We had just had stranger danger at school and had been told that we should never leave the house without leaving a note - so I did and they still have it...

"I have run away. Do not worry. I will be back soon."

Clearly I wasn't quite as committed as I could have been

I'm in bits over that....

Antheia, don't feel bad. 5 years is a trying age and an age where girls especially are showing their independence and she would have said it before realising what it meant.

I wouldn't feel bad, if anything, she'll probably be sulky with you tomorrow and that will be the perfect time to have a mumma/daughter chat about feelings and ways to express herself