Creditors- why are they so cruel (long)

[Ella]

Some of you may know we're pretty badly off after DF being amde redundant several times in the last year. Anyhow our biggest debt is a $20,000 loan that has been sent to the creditors. Now at the moment we are trying to catch up the rental arrears on out house so that they will give us another lease.

I've just had the creditor ring me and accuse me of lying- they're saying I'm married because I have reffered to DF as 'my husband' (we've been engaged for 2 years who hasn't) they are also saying that I am lying about how many children we have as the person who served us with legal documents recorded 'children' instead of 'child'.

This woman on the phone was so bloody cruel she actually yelled at me when I said that we would try to make payments starting in 3 weeks, saying "WELL YOU HAVEN'T DONE THAT UP TILL NOW HAVE YOU?" How unprofessional.

I ended up saying to her at one point, if you could just stop for a second, we are trying really hard to get our debts in order and I understand that you have money to collect but we are people."

She didn't care, she threatened forcing us into bankruptcy, told me that the legal advice I have been given is false (just to scare me) and tried to force me to agree to paying $150 a week starting today.

I am left crying my freaking eyes out. I feel so broken, I manage every week to stretch our money as far as it will go and we are trying so hard. I don't know what to do. We don't want ot go bankrupt because we know how long that will affect us for and DF is trying to get as much work as he can at the moment.

Sorry and thanks for listening, don't need anything back, just feel hurt.

[Visitor7]

I couldn't read and not say anything. Unfortunately I don't have any advice, just big . I really hope you can find a way out of this.

[Ella]

Thanks Jodi big hugs is what I need and I'm home alone

[Ally79]

Wow that's rude, if i were in your position (and i have been) i would ask for a copy of that phone conversation. They are required to tape every call. i would also be asking for all contact to be made via letter from now on.

Big to you

[AliBaby]

Oh hun I am sorry that the woman was so nasty to you.

I know you probably dont want to speak to them again but is it worth calling up again and speaking to someone else and telling them how the phonecall went down?

[Muppity]

Aw hun

Try not to let them get to you. Debt collectors do their job by getting nasty as it is usually how people respond best for them (ie pay up)

Take a written note of every contact that you have with them. Don't make rude comments in your note, but if someone is agressive then note that they were and ifyou can remember what they said write that down too. The best policy is to always be honest with them and never agree to do something that you know you won't be able to.

Just remember that debt colectors only get paid if they get the money so they try any method that they think they will work. Interestingly they usually try intimidation first on women whereas they usually try negotiation first with men.

So if you are getting really stressed about it tell them that you can't speak to them right now because you have a distressed baby but if you can have their number you would be happy to have yourself or your DF ring them back. That way you (or DF) are prepared for the conversation and they aren't quite so much - probably have to get yoru file out etc - so it gives you the upper hand.

Good luck. I commend anyone who trys to work through their debt rather than taking the seemingly "easier" options.

[Ella]

Alibaby- It probably is worth it but I don't think I have it in me, have just spoken to DF who is alot more laid back about it than I am, which has made me eve more upset because I feel like he is ignoring the fact that it is going to take us 5 years to pay this off and these people won't be happy till the debt is gone...

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

That's disgraceful! I would be contacting her superior about that - you may be in debt, but you're still a human being. You could possibly even contact the relevant ombudsman, it's not a question of whether or not you're gonna pay, but you should absolutely not be treated that way.

Also, have you thought of contacting someone like Fox Symes? Their ads are always on here - they use their contacts and experience to roll all your debts into one payment, and bring the repayments down far lower than the normal person can. One girl on here actually ended up paying less out each fortnight, but got a better credit rating!

Good luck Hun - I know what it's like to be abused by creditors, and trust me, once you speak to the right person, you'd be amazed at how much easier it can get

[Ella]

Muppity- exactly unfortunately they don't commend us, she told me " you have to go to you parents and they have to pay it otherwise you will be bankrupt" She ended up making me agree to $100 a week payments starting in 4 weeks, but I don't know how we will do that and it's going to mean even less food and my dreams of buying some new underwear will be out the window lol

God I must have asked to be taught some very harsh lessons this lifetime...

[Muppity]

Alibaby- It probably is worth it but I don't think I have it in me, have just spoken to DF who is alot more laid back about it than I am, which has made me eve more upset because I feel like he is ignoring the fact that it is going to take us 5 years to pay this off and these people won't be happy till the debt is gone...

Hun if you are in a position to agree to repaying a certain amount every week/fortnight and they agree to it and you stick with your repayment schedule they shouldn't continue to hound you or come chasing you. So long as you stick to your side of the bargain they should be happy.

[AliBaby]

I have dealt with creditors before and have felt bullied in a way. I had a GE debt that got passed to creditors. In a way I was happy that it did so that I wasnt paying the interest anymore as I couldnt get ahead paying 27% interest on the card. The first person I spoke to was so rude and upset me so much - wanted me to ask friends or my boss for money to pay the debt in full right away (WTF!!!) and I was quite upset at that. Rang back the next day and spoke to someone else and worked out a payment plan that I could afford (just).

Just giving you an example as there are some really nasty ones out there and some that are more underestanding in a very stressful situation

In the past it has helped if I have written down in front of me what I need to tell them so that I dont get flustered by them and can get my points across.

Maybe when you feel like you can talk to them again, give them a call. Even if its tomorrow.

Some good advice from Muppity as well.

[Bathsheba]

Yes, if you can request a copy of the phone call that would be great.

To answer your question: my guess is that they are paid commission or something... or that they themselves are on the receiving end of some pretty foul language. I know that doesn't mean they should be so mean to you... just a possible explanation.

And yes. That is very unprofessional. Don't subscribe to it. Maybe tell them that YOU are recording the call. And do what government agencies do if the client becomes aggressive... tell them that the degree of aggression is unacceptable and that you are going to terminate this call (never hang up without warning). Remain calm. Maybe their strategy is to frazzle you so much that you won't be able to keep your "story" straight But try not to take their accusations personally... they most likely do it to everyone.

The only creditor I have had is the school where I send my DD (late school fees)... but they are always polite so i can't say I have had any negative experience... but my DH works in the finance industry and tells me some horror stories of people's attitudes.

you WILL get through to the other side of all this darl. Hold tight. Retain your dignity. it sounds like you are doing really well. Speak ultra respectfully to them and tell them that "it must be really difficult doing your job" empathy always gets people on side. But don't lower yourself. When something they say hurts visualise water sliding off a ducks back... don't you dare absorb it



ETA: excellent advice Muppity!

[Just Me]

How completely horrible! I don't have any advice, but what an awful thing for you to have to go through. You're right, you should not be treated like that. Sorry, I don't have any other advice, just wanted to show my support.

[Ella]

Thanks everyone for your responses, I'm feeling a little better now after giving DS a big cuddle. I have has some nice people that I've spoken to but this was just horrible. You're right we WILL get through this sometimes it just seems a long way away and I jsut want to be able to enjoy our lives, not worry about some stupid loan we got when we were being naive and stupid 2 years ago!

[Lulu]

Don't expect them to be very professional - Muppity is right about how they are. However NO ONE has the right to speak to you that way. Give them heaps back and tell them what you can pay and to stop the threats xoxoxo

[Mummato2]

The way Debt Collection agencies work is they buy the debt from the original company at a lower rate and then attempt to get you to pay the whole thing (which is where they earn their money).

You've bought yourself 4 weeks by agreeing to a payment plan.

What you now need to do is put in writing your income and outgoings as well as what you can realistically afford to repay on a regular basis.

In the letter let them know that you are happy to agree to a 6 monthly review to see if you can afford to increase those payments should your situation change and you will be happy to include any lump sums should they become available (tax etc).

No company wants to see you go bankrupt purely because it means that they lose money in a big way.

Your other option is to wait until they send a sheriff (which is the next step if you ignore it) and go into a Court Ordered Payment Arrangement. Very similar to you going into a direct arrangement with the Debt Collector EXCEPT if you default, the court can order repossession of goods to the value of the debt.

PLUS - dealing with the Debt Collector, if you pay your loan for say 6 months they may offer you a reduced settlement amount in a few months time. If you and your DF are in a better position then, you may be able to afford a lump sum (personal loan, consolidation loan etc) to get rid of it for a lower cost than the original debt.

Also, ask if they have frozen the interest. They should do that if they've bought the debt - in which case even if it takes you 5 years of a payment plan, you may find that after 2 years you can offer a lump sum to completely finalise the debt.

I hope that's helped - don't stress hun - you just got a mega ***** the other day and she had no business speaking to you the way she did and threatening you with things that are not right. It'll get better mate - I promise. Money problems are evil but it does go away and with time, planning and a STRICT budget you'll be smiling back on this in a few years time

[squidipa]

oh sweet i am sorry for you, i cant make it better and i wish i could. vent away that person sounded very disrespectful and rude. BTW hubbie didn't get that job but maybe your hubbie might get some over time ? i dunno but one can hope. Mind you he can only do so much hey. maybe you need to cut back some where where i dunno from our convo's your cutting it very slim. can u cut back on meat? we eat red meat not that often to save money mind u neither of us are big meat fans but im craving loads of beef recently. Do you have energy efficient globes? when we went through a real tough bit i served backed beans 3 times a week and porridge everyday.

[Ella]

Squidipa- yeah I thought about cutting back meat, but I get anaemic if I don't eat meat 6 out of 7 days a week- it sucks! Really sorry to hear that he didn't get he job, is there anything else coming up on the horizon for him?

Mummato2- thanks darl, it feels really good to have someone be so constructive the way you were, jsut hearing 'it will be ok' sometimes makes all the difference!

Waiting till DF gets home from work tonight and we're going to have a big talk about it cause it's getting me down alot.

Thank you all again for your support don't know what I would do without all the BB girls!