I realise it is such early early days yet, but my baby, who is only about 12 days old mind you, feeds CONSTANTLY during the day, with little sleep and quite a bit of fussiness... then magically over night (so far) he can go 3-4 hourly between feeds and sleeps quite well, almost self settling... my first born never slept a wink, so i realise how lucky i am to be getting these solid blocks of sleep at night, but my question is, around what age will feeding during the day be more regular, or follow a pattern (ie, be 2 hourly, or 3 hourly etc)... at the moment it is on and off every hour.
I think he is snacking and i probably need to try to get him to take bigger feeds, so that he isn't hungry again half an hour later... or maybe i am just giving him the breast every time he cries, when in fact perhaps he has wind or some other problem. i have given him a few tries of formula, just out of desperation, and he has drunk it... i don't know whether putting him on formula would regulate his feeding or not... i would like to persevere with breast feeding, but i am literally unable to do anything during the day or leave the house as he feeds so constantly, and with a toddler to look after as well i really feel like i am neglecting her... if someone can tell me things improve by 3 months for example, maybe i can keep on going, but if its going to be like this forever i'm not sure i can do it, or fit it into my lifestyle, i am meant to be working soon and have no idea how this is going to happen.
sorry for my long post, i only managed to breast feed for 8 weeks with my first born, and can barely remember much as she never slept and i was so sleep deprived. it would just be nice to be able to plan to leave the house and know i had a window of an hour or two up my sleeve without needing to feed him. today i fed him, drove 20 minutes and by the time i got to the shops he was screaming for a feed again...
i'm not an expert, but i know i found the early days of BF quite overwhelming. your baby is trying to establish supply and is feeding frequently to make sure there's enough - i think giving formula may well interfere with this so probably isn't a great idea.
also, i think the feeds seem even more frequent in those early days because they can take so long - by the time you feed one side, change a nappy, feed on the other side it's almost time for the next feed! i remember my MIL said to me to expect to spend the first 6 months tied to the couch it certainly hasn't been that bad but in the first few weeks i thought she might be right!
i know things really settled down for me by around the 12 weeks - my DS was feeding 2 hourly but i knew the pattern & he was having more awake time etc. so things were far more predictable. your LO may still have bouts of 'cluster' feeding as he gets older, but these seem to happen more or less at one time of day (eg early evening). plus your LO will get more efficient at feeding so the feeds themselves won't take so long.
it certainly won't be like this forever - fwiw, i have a very frequent feeder but even he is starting to settle down a little bit more! so it does get easier & better.
hope you can hang in there - it must be tough with a toddler as well, i hope you have people around who can help out.
hun, coping with a newborn and a toddler must run you ragged!
Your newborn will seem like he is constantly attached to you, feeding or being held, but remember only a couple of weeks ago he WAS! 27 hrs a day, 7 days a week, all he knew was warmth, comfort and security. No hunger, not lying alone. He's just adjusting to this new way of living.
Have you tried a sling? His feeding will settle down eventually (it sounds like it is overnight, which is great for you), but in the meantime, a lot of what he is getting is both milk and comfort from being bf. Once he has been fed and changed and doesn't seem hungry, try popping him in a sling, where he is still close to you, but at least your hands are free to do something with your toddler.
Have you tried keeping him more awake during a feed too, to make sure that he is getting a full feed? Changing him, etc, to wake him up so that he doesn't drop off too quickly may help. When you're about to bf him, have you got some things at hand to keep your toddler amused, so you don't have to be up and down, interrupting the feed? It can be handy to have a snack and a drink prepared where your toddler can reach it, for eg. I've also heard of Mums who keep a special box of toys or activities at hand that only comes up when it's baby's feed time, so that you can have your toddler near by and occupied.
Do you have any help or support during the day?
It sounds like you are really trying hard and it will get easier. Just a caution that introducing formula at this stage may impact your milk supply, so I'd be wary of going down that road unless you decide that's what you'd like to do.
The first 6 weeks or so with a new baby are tough going - no matter how we feed them. There are so many adjustments to make with a new baby, even if you've already BTDT with a new baby. Having two changes the dynamics completly. It absolutely gets better. I think one of the problems with swapping to formula is that most mothers do it when they percieve things are really bad. When things are really bad, they are going to improve anyway. Formula is introduced and the baby gets a bit better (which it will do anyway!) so formula is hailed as the hero.
Many mothers find this helps. Give your baby 1 breast for around 20mins (babe will probably be snoozing at that time. Gently take him off (he'll probably make a desperate grab at that stage and start feeding vigorously - but take him off anyway) Burp, change nappy and offer him the other side. He may take a little, or a lot. After than, wrap him and cuddle him until he is *really* asleep, then carefully put im down. Or if really unsettled, put him in a sling. No baby is going to *love* going to sleep alone at that age!
let us know how you go
The reason formula keeps babies going for longer is because it's harder for them to digest, booby juice is always your best bet
Soon enough your baby will have a larger stomach and then be able to feed less, until then just sit tight, keep doing what you're doing, YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
I suggest speaking to the ABA about breastfeeding and returning to work, they give great advice Good luck!
thanks.... he really does seem to prefer the breast milk to the formula so i suppose that is saying something... he is also having some difficulty breathing, he sounds like a little snorting piggy, so i suppose that is complicating things a bit, i keep thinking he must have a cold, but its just piggy snorting it seems...
i REALLY REALLY REALLY want to use a sling, i had an ergo and a HAB with my first, and i just bought a 100knots ring sling, but can't for the life of me work out how to get him in it comfy... i got it second hand off ebay, so if anyone can recommend a good sling with good instructions (i want to carry him cradled/nursing position and feel the ergo and HAB will be better once he is older) i am really thinking i will need to buy a new one... i did used to have another ebay sling called a jazzsling that was unable to be adusted, but suited my first born in the cradle position, have no idea where it is now...
i have help during the day thank god, i honestly don't know how mums have like multiple children then a newborn, does the newborn get left to cry a bit, as long as he's fed, changed, warm etc? i can't possibly fathom looking after other children while tending to a newborn.... i am blown away by this concept at the moment.
i just feel so much guilt that i don't get to spend hardly any quality time with my daughter anymore, although i know once bubs is a bit older this will change, and in time she will have a playmate which is such a fantastic gift for her, but at the same time i am struggling feeling like all my attention goes to the baby... she doesn't seem phased though so i guess i'm being hard on myself.
I'm not sure on the most comfortable position for the ring sling (although I've been given to understand that while it might not look comfy for bubs, as long as he is still it doesn't really matter if he looks a bit squashed), but I used the HAB from birth for DD. I know it's a bit fiddlier to get on and off (although once I'd mastered it I think it took about 20 secs!), but there's no harm in using it straight away, rather than waiting until you have a new ring sling. FWIW I found my DD would sleep for hours in the HAB, peaceful and undisturbed, and I was free to carry on with whatever I wanted to do. I just had to remember to cover her head if I sat down to eat something, or she ended up with food all over her!
When will feeding be regular/follow a pattern?
Reply With Quote
it certainly hasn't been that bad but in the first few weeks i thought she might be right!
hope you can hang in there - it must be tough with a toddler as well, i hope you have people around who can help out.
Bookmarks