HELP! Biting.

[Calluna]

My DS is 7 months.
He's just getting his two bottom front teeth and has started biting me. He was doing it before his teeth started coming through but it wasnt too painful but now that his teeth are coming through - there out about 3 or 4mms- it hurts like hell. ie he bit me 10 mins ago and it still stings and the marks are still there!
He bites and clamps down and will not let go, if I try to open his mouth he bites harder and if I do nothing he bites harder. I don't pull back, because I know it will hurt more.
I've tried telling him no very firmly/ loudly/ pretty much every different tone of voice possible and it doesn't make a difference he just grabs on and will not let go.

I don't know what to do. :'(

It's hard enough to get him to feed as it is, every feed is a massive struggle to get him to latch on and stay on. I have to try a number of different positions and even then he sometimes just wont. I know that he's hungry but he just refuses. Part of the reson is wind but even once I've got rid of the wind (spent 45 mins + patting and rubbing in different ways) he still wont feed. I've just got some infants friend which seems to be helping, but he still refuses to feed.

So right now he is lying in his cot, crying because he is hungry and tired, I'm on the verge of tears because my boob hurts and I have no idea what to do, I don't want to go back in there and subject my nipple to more torture but I know that he's hungry and needs to feed.

[onthefly]

Have you called the ABA? They may have some good advice for you.
Take heart - lots of mums have been through this and survived to continue breastfeeding.

For what it's worth, it sounds as though you have two problems - biting and breast refusal - and one may be exacerbating the other.
With refusal, the best thing to do is to back down and relax. Offer the breast like it doesn't matter if he doesn't want it and don't push it. Sometimes they bite to tell you 'no I don't want any more now'.
You can try feeding in the bath together - that sometimes helps to relax both of you. It's a nice change and a distraction from the usual feeding battle.

If he's biting you with his bottom teeth then he must be pulling off to bite you. If he's latched on correctly he cannot bite with his bottom teeth as his tongue will be in the way. If so - watch him very carefully when he's feeding. You may be able to learn to spot the tell-tale signs that he's about to bite and pull him off quickly before he gets the chance.

The thing that ultimately worked for me was to stop feeding DS when he did this. He was done if he bit. That was when he was older though. He bit me at 4-5 months for a while there (no teeth, but it still hurt) and just taking him off and saying no worked, but he wasn't so determined then.

Oh, and take good care of your nipples - it hurts doesn't it?

Good luck!

[Calluna]

Thanks marcellus
But thats the thing, right now he is hungry, he has to be. He's hardly had anything all day because of the refusal. It's his usual feeding time, he cries, I pick him up he's sucking on everything he can get into his mouth, desperately trying to get to my breast and when I attach him he sucks for about 15 seconds lets go and bites me. And he's so quick.

The only way i can get him to feed at all lately is lying down in bed.

[onthefly]

Hmmmm.
Has af returned yet? Any signs it's coming soon? Hormonal changes can make the milk taste a bit funny i think.

Maybe just lie down to feed for now if that helps - just get through this. It will pass.

Wish I could be more reassuring, sorry. I do know how stressful it is - DS did this at about 4 months.

[Calluna]

yea I've had AF since he was 3 months. Which is about a month after the breast refusal started. It's just getting steadily worse.

I haven't called the ABA, I have a bit of a fear of talking to people. Which is why I always look for the answers online. Stupid I know.

I eventually got him to feed for about 5 mins and he had a decent guzzle, so he was at least thirsty. then he bit me again.

I just handed him over to his dad and went and had a shower to relax. I'm feeling a bit better and DS is bouncing away semi - happily in his Jolly jumper. So I'm going to eat dinner and try again.

My other worry is that he's getting dehydrated. He wont drink from a sippy cup, bottle or normal cup so I cant even give him water. With the normal cup he just spits it out and he wont suck the bottle or sippy cup.

[Jennifer13]

Heather, first of all.

He won't dehydrate if you continue to offer him a feed. 5 mins if plenty of time for him to drink his fill now, and he is probably biting out of frustration and once he's satisfied his thirst/hunger. Keep the bfs short and if you notice that his sucking is starting to let up, take him off before he can bite and distract him with something else.

Another thing that might work is to switch holds on him. So if he's normally held in a cradle position, try the football hold. Make sure your attachment is spot on. Or try marcellus's suggestion to bf lying down. You might also like to try to limit distraction for him, so that he's not trying to pull off and look around. So go for a quiet, darkened room.

GL hun, I'd suggest calling the ABA too, 1800 mum 2 mum. You'll get another mum who's probably BTDT and it won't be as daunting as you imagine.

[Shanti]

Oh biting REALLY hurts. I have just come out the other side of this biting phase with my 12mth old DD!! I really thought it was the end of our BF relationship and I was devastated but it was just a phase.... 'teething' was causing it also the reaction she was getting from me kept making her do it. I would cry out in pain "OUCH!" cos it would hurt soooo much and she'd keep doing it.... EVERY feed.
But now after me just ignoring the pain and putting boob away and putting her on the floor she has learnt it doesn't work anymore and the fun is gone... so she stopped! (thankgod as I was starting to get lots of anxiety before a feed!)

the girls have given great advice here. Not much more I can say other than it will pass..... it's just one of those phases. A painful one!

[Calluna]

Thanks ladies
I've stopped pushing the feeds if he doesn't want it he doesn't want it. He's been a little better with the biting but still does it at least once most feeds. I've just been biting my tounge, trying not to yell out and putting him down as soon as he lets go.

The other issue I'm having is sleeping (probably a topic for another thread but...), the last 5 days he's been having about 30 mins to 1hr's sleep in a 12 hr period, still sleeping ok through the night. He's really tired -droopy eyes, screams/ winges every time I put him down, etc but refuses to sleep. Everytime I put him in his cot he cries until I pick him up. I'm a bit worried that he's begining to associate his cot with crying. (Although right now he's lying in his cot yelling and talking lol.)
Even when I try rocking him to sleep he fights and fights and fights until he can no longer stay awake and falls asleep in my arms/ on my shoulder/ sleeps while I'm feeding him and wakes up when finished. He has also started crying when he wakes up from a sleep too, which he didn't usually do.

Again, could be related to gas but even after I've spent ages patting and think I've gotten it all up he still wont sleep.

Any ideas? I thought maybe separation anxiety but he's ok when he's not tired.