Registered User
Toys - This is what I had planned, BUT...
I remember reading this article ages ago, way before I was pg, and thought at the time how easy it sounded to follow and promised myself I would should I ever have a child.
After thinking long about this very topic last night I finally found the article again today. finally found it again today. Somehow even though DS is only 5 1/2 months old and has just learned to hold a rattle, I fear I may fail at achieving this way of life for him and I in an effort to make up in some small way for his rough start to life.
Have any of you ignored the plastic/trendy toys successfully? And if so, please tell me how! I know people must do it but I just haven't found any yet.
When Toys Take Over
* The Guardian, Saturday 20 January 2007
Liz Hollis's mother still fondly remembers the three toys she had as a child in the 50s. Liz herself also recalls most of her own from the 70s. But her children have so many that now even their toys have toys. Should we be concerned at such an excess?
My mother, 67, remembers every toy she owned in her postwar childhood. She had just one bear (so cherished that she has him still, albeit moth-eaten), one doll and a wheelbarrow.
Growing up in the early 70s, I had more: a couple of Mary Quant dolls, six or seven soft toys (some hand-knitted in lurid colours), and an assortment of puzzles and games.
However, both collections are dwarfed in quantity and scope by the toys my daughters, aged just two and eight, already possess. They have lots of toys. Lots and lots and lots of toys. Toys that light up. Toys that talk. Happy Meal toys. Magazine covermount toys. Party-bag toys. Toys that beep, flash, spin, come apart into a hundred tiny pieces. Even some of their toys have toys (no, really).
A head count reveals an alarming 32 Barbies and 28 baby dolls jostling for attention alongside 51 cuddly toys and mountains of multicoloured plastic bits. On every surface and in every corner there is discarded kids' stuff.
Most children have a similar stockpile - the UK's toy industry is now worth a staggering £2.1bn a year, according to the Toy Retailers Association.
My mother's generation is dismayed: how can receiving yet another party bag brim-full of throwaway plastic equal the intensity of receiving just a couple of presents a year?
Margaret Greentree, who grew up in Norfolk in the 50s, remembers as a child waiting for a whole year before finally receiving her second-hand bike: "It had flat tyres and needed repairing, but it was precious. The ecstasy I felt on receiving it was unsurpassed." Recently, she watched her grandson receive a bike for no particular reason, and she felt sorry for him: "How can he feel the pleasure I felt?"
Dan Fletcher, 86, agrees. His prize possession was a set of wooden farm animals covered in real fur. "They seemed utterly magical. I hardly dared play with them, they were so precious, so I spent a lot of time just looking at them. I kept them in such good condition that I was able to pass them down to my own three sons."
This isn't just nostalgia: in 50s Britain, toys were scarce. During the war, factories swapped production to munitions and imports stopped from Germany, the major toy-making country. Playthings became hallowed objects: enjoyed for a whole childhood; repaired time and again, and passed on to younger children. A toy today is just another temporary distraction.
Catherine Howell, head of collections and exhibitions at the Museum of Childhood in Bethnal Green, east London, says that the typical British child's toy collection has increased dramatically decade on decade, especially in the past 20 years. "It must surely have reached saturation point now. It's unimaginable that it could continue to soar at the same rate," she says.
The museum is about to review its contemporary collecting policy because of the huge quantity of toys now on sale. "It's hard to know what will become iconic," says Howell.
Betty Shaw, 62, has run a dolls' hospital for decades. But now, she says, the hospital's only "patients" are family heirlooms with missing eyes and limbs. "I can't imagine a child bringing their Bratz doll to my hospital. They are so easily come by that kids just wreck them and buy a new one," she says.
Betty still has Molly, her childhood doll, which was cheaply made after the war from "composite" - pulped rags and sawdust mixed with glue. "I had to look after her as I knew I wouldn't get another," she says.
But times change. Now, toys are abundant - and cheap. Should parents really be concerned if their kids seem to have an excess of toys? It's bad news for the toy industry but my mother's generation has a point. Many child psychologists and other experts are also concerned about what's in your child's toy cupboard - at best, they say, you're wasting your money; at worst, you risk stunting your child's development.
Claire Lerner, a child-development worker, carried out a US government-funded study into the effect of inundating children with toys. She found that too many playthings can restrict development and may harm children.
"They get overwhelmed and over-stimulated and cannot concentrate on any one thing long enough to learn from it so they just shut down. Too many toys means they are not learning to play imaginatively either," she says.
A study by the University of Stirling recently concluded that expensive, hi-tech toys are a waste of money - children learn just as much from playing with an old mobile phone.
So should parents chuck the lot? Perhaps. In Germany, two public health workers, Rainer Strick and Elke Schubert, persuaded a Munich nursery to pack away all playthings for three months out of every year, leaving the children with nothing but tables, chairs, blankets and their initiative. Then they watched what happened.
Initially, the children were bored but by day two they had turned tables and blankets into dens and were absorbed in make-believe games. They became more imaginative and contented, and in the process learned to concentrate, communicate better and integrate more in groups.
Steiner Waldorf educationalists have long recognised the positive effects of taking away excess toys from children and replacing them with simpler, more natural playthings such as conkers, shells and lengths of fabric to stimulate creative play.
Veronica Moen, director of Myriad Natural Toys, which sells Steiner-influenced playthings, thinks we should radically edit the toy cupboard: "Simpler toys mean imagination has to do all the work. Minimal facial expressions on dolls, for example, make children bestow them with emotions and act out scenarios. Natural materials, like wood, stimulate their senses."
According to Dr John Richer, consultant clinical paediatric psychologist at John Radcliffe hospital, Oxford, "The mistake that many parents make when they buy a toy, especially for very young children, is they get toys that can do a lot, instead of getting toys a child can do a lot with." He says studies show that when a child is confronted with a new object they go through two stages: exploration then play.
In exploration, children ask: "What does this object do?" In play it is "What can I do with this?" When a child is confronted with too many new toys they spend too long exploring and not enough time playing. "The theory is that children who play more tend to become more creative, imaginati ve and emotionally secure.
"The impression is they are better at taking initiative and are more adaptable, which is what one wants in a fast-changing world," says Dr Richer.
Less, it seems, is more when it comes to boosting a child's development. Bernadette Duffy, head of Thomas Coram Early Childhood Centre, in London, advises that parents avoid electronic toys and buy ones that need imaginative input from the child: Lego, bricks, farm animals, simple dolls, good books.
And playing simple games with Mum or Dad is worth more than the best-stocked toy cupboard. "Spending time with your child is the best present you can give them," says Duffy.
But what to do with all the tat that your children have already accumulated? Boxing up old toys and bringing them out several months later helps reduce over-stimulation and boredom. Or divide the kids' toys into five bags. Give them a bag for a day or so, then store it away again.
So, box up all the gizmos. Pack away the surfeit of cuddly toys and dolls. Bin the broken bits of plastic and leave out just a few of the classic favourites, such as trains, books, cars, Lego and simple dolls that make children do all the creative work. Stand well back and watch them flourish.
Registered User
we have waaay too many toys! and you know what? DD just doesnt play with them all...her toys of choice are:
dolly
pram
handbag
old phone
a set of old keys
everything else she just ignores (unless another child comes over and they *might* play with the train set. mostly though the kids all just fight over dolly and the pram
i am thinking of doing a massive cull. it is way too cluttered and a waste for her to have so many and not play with them. so salvos here we come!
Registered User
This is a great article, BR, thanks for highlighting it.
One of the problems with this abundance of toys is the amount our kids are given. Grandparents, aunts and uncles and don't even get me started on birthday parties...
We had to lay down the law with at least one relative, who insisted on buying quantity (not always quality). It feels like your'e up against it just to limit what comes in, regardless of what you buy as parents.
Registered User
Yeah, too many here too. I kind of have a policy- anything that isn't played with in six months either goes to the toy library, playgroup, or the Salvos, or shipped off to relatives houses so I don't have to cart toys around.
I am pretty minimilist and I like to buy toys second hand, or free-cycled toys. if I buy new it's things like a steel wheelbarrow and red wagon, that are good qulaity and will last. Not much I can do about the ones we get as presents thoug, and some people (like my SIL) are just so over the top. She bought ds twice as much as we did for Xmas- who needs that much, at 2 years old?
BellyBelly Member
I don't think you can ignore the plastic/trendy toys completly, but you can limit them!
Since DD was born, I've made it really well know that I would prefer books or clothes, and for the most part, this is what DD has got. I've also gone so far as to request certain toys, such as an easel, from the grandparents.
I had a cull just before christmas, and just looking at the playpen, I need to cull again, because there's toys in there that DD hasn't played with in a while. I've also started boxing up her toys - so she has a tea-set box, a little people box, an animals box and a lego box, and I am beginning to get her into the habit that she has to pack up one box before she can get another one. This also means that she may not play with something for a week or so, and so she doesn't get as bored with her toys. I try to limit the toys that she gets that are press a button and lots will happen, preferring the ones that don't do very much, but have lots of scope for imagination. I have to say I like the Fisher Price Little people, because she can do lots of imaginative play with them. Another huge favourite is duplo lego - she's now building towers and its got so much scope for imagination as she gets older - a toy that I can see will last more than a 6month period.
Although I have to say, on the weekend, she entertained herself with a cardboard box, a doll and a piece of string for about an hour - not sure what was going through her head during the playtime, but she was having great fun!
Registered User
we have a lot of teddy's and stuff - but she only has a few toys out at a time. we make sure that things get cycled through to encourage her imagination - and the things that are out generally encourage her to think outside the square. at the moment, she has a set of teething keys, a shape sorter (those shapes hurt to stand on though!) and some stacking cups. oh, and one little care bear.
i think the idea is good - and i have said i would prefer toys that encourage her imagination - blocks etc. i'm waiting for people to mention her birthday and i'll make some suggestions of what we would prefer for her. i was asked today about presents for her and i listed the things we didn't want - the list is quite long!
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Good Luck
All I can say is be as firm as you can when it comes to things like Xmas and birthdays. Plead no plastic if you really have to.
Other than that, choose something that can be added to. You cannot go wrong with Duplo - kids play with that for years and years.
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
It's hard because we just keep getting given things. Some of the things we've been given are great - DS plays with them and they become part of his imaginative play - but most are quickly forgotten about.
I think we've bought him 2-3 toys.... but he has heaps.
DS loves his stroller too
Registered User
I had a massive cull about a year ago. My friends were horrified that I got rid of four binbags full of toys either for the dump, or for the op shop. But do you know what, my kids were never bored or lacking in toys. I just picked carefully the toys that could be used for a million different things and kept only them.
Now we have emigrated to Australia I have only the few toys we could fit in our luggage, plus a few wee things that we have bought since then. I am actually dreading all the rest of our stuff arriving and plan to cull most of it before the kids see it. From my own experience many toys limit imagination and it is only by removing them we set our children free.
Registered User
DD got two very large boxes that I had office chairs delivered in last week and they're upstairs as her 'caravans' atm! She's gotten out the glue and bits of paper and decorated them with that and drawings. Hours of fun!
Her favourite box of toys is her craft box - it has scissors, glue, drawing implements, bits and pieces like toilet rolls and scraps and magazine pages that I find and rip out for her. She will play with that for ages, happily engrossed in creating something wonderful!
I too find that boxes that each contain different toys or types of toys work well, both in terms of helping her tidy up, play with one thing at a time and making things easy to find as the mood takes her.
Although after this article, perhaps I should put some of them out of sight for a little while!
Registered User
My kids have far too many.
MIL feels the need to deposit recycled ones every time she visits - often by the boxload.
I have nothing against recycle toys mind you, just that we dont need anymore.
DH went though the toys last weekend and got two boxloads to take to the salvos etc, and IMO it just wasnt enough - almost hald of the toys we are keeping I dont think the kids play with.
Registered User
Just wanted to add, ours are kept in storage tubs and rotated. Atm, we have out the Duplo, cars, and a washing basket full of bits and pieces- soft toys, plastic mobile phone, dancing ribbon. And a large cardboard box cubby, that's been overcrowding the lounge room since XmasAnd a bikem ride on car, wheel barrow, wagons x2, lawnmower, Tonka truck, chalkboard outside.
Packed away we have- train set, wooden blocks, FP blocks in cube, 'nother box of cars, tub of balls, tent with balls, set of FP Little people, FP activity table, rocking horse, ride on car. And that's just downstairs, there are more in his room
Registered User
After reading all of this, I'm starting to wish there was a way to have a BB 'toy exchange' so that we can get rid of those toys our children never play with and receive something 'new' for our child/ren in return. Once the recepient was 'over' the new toy, then we can donate them to the Salvos etc.
At least for someone like me when the temptation struck to splash out on something plastic, we wouldn't be spending a fortune for something our child may not even like.
I realise it's probably not feasible on here but I'm off to search for something of the same nature. If I don't find a place who already does this, I seriously think I'm going to start this on my own. Less money wasted, less landfill created, children are still happy.
But thank you everyone so far for giving me some creative ideas for both gifts and solutions to buy/use in the upcoming months when DS starts to get more active.
Registered User
BR, I joined Freecycle (it's a yahoo group, but part of a global movement). Whenever someone is getting rid of something they advertise it on there, for free. And if you really want/need something, that's also a place to post an ad.
Most of the unnecessary stuffed toys and other bits and pieces that aren't broken and aren't worth keeping from DD go on Freecycle to someone who is usually all to grateful to give them a home.
It's also where we picked up DD's sandpit, outdoor climbing house, doll house + accessories, some clothes, not to mention the fish tank, furniture for our spare room and the play room. I could go on and on...! I've given away probably about an equal amount of stuff in return!
Registered User
Great article, very interesting, its hard when birthdays and christmas come around and you have a huge stack of toys from every aunt and uncle!!!
I made a point of getting 'doing' gifts for DD this christmas and letting others buy the crappy plastic things.
She got a bus with little people in it...fisher price i think, it lasted about two weeks before it was stuffed in a corner and not looked at again!!
He fave toys are her bags which she puts all sorts in, and clomps around the house with our shoes on and a hat or an old t-shirts or my pants on
She does have TO MANY soft toys and plays with about 4 of them. and boxes of crap that i just dont get out. we have a few good wooden puzzels etc
we do alot of painting, drawing, reading...a lot of reading, walking and gardening, cooking!!! thats the new fave thing to do...get herbs from the garden and cook something!!!!
She has ALOT of crappy bath toys...when i was a kid i remember just having a wash cloth in the bath and i alwyas really loved my bath time!!!
Registered User
Oh my gosh - this is exactly what I was looking for!! How absolutely awesome. I'm going to look into to joining it now!
Registered User
You can find your group through this website: The Freecycle Network
Registered User
We have a small extended family and DD was not given much plastic at all. I joined a toy library to get variety if needed and so that we did not have to store heaps of stuff. I found, and it is still true to an extent, that dd played with something for a few days and then was not interested. I totally agree with the article and think it is possible to do. DD is 7 now and her faves are a teddy bear she made herself and a giant box that we bought a new appliance in and she insists on keeping in her room as a cubby.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks