thread: He just wants to be held all day......

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    3

    Unhappy He just wants to be held all day......

    This is my second son who is now 10 weeks old and from about 4 weeks he has had alot of troule sleeping especially during the day, some days he has had no sleep at all except in my arms which doesnt give him much time to sleep as I also have a 2 year old. I am trying everything, but things may work for a few days then thats it he stops sleeping in the bassinet again.
    I have tried diffrent places like bouner, my bed and he is now having a nap in my rocking chair whhich I dont think is very safe but he has been crying for hours and just needs a good sleep but wont. I used controlled comforting with my 1st son which worked well and I have tried it with him but again will only work a few times and then he just screams when I try it again...... The longest he will sleep during the day is 1/2 an hour and when he wakes he cryes and wants to go back to sleep so it starts all over again.
    He is not even sleeping well at night so never realy catches up on the missed sleep, most nights up every 3-4 hours. I keep thinking maybe its an upset tummy or growth spurt but it just keeps getting worse and its even getting hard to get him to sleep at night now so I am going crazy with no sleep myself and a very unhappy baby.

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Do you have a sling or some other baby carrier? We used our hug-a-bub a lot when DS was young and it worked great. Baby was happy (and slept!) and I had my hands free to do things.

    If we didn't do this, DS would hardly sleep at all during the day. Then he got soooo overtired he couldn't sleep at night either. In the HAB he slept 4-5 hours during the day (compared to maybe 1 all up otherwise) and after a few days of that he started sleeping much better at night also.

    All the best~~

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    brisbane
    3,975

    Its really hard hey hun. wiht him being up every 3 to 4 hours that sounds really normal for his age.
    Have you tried a sling or carrier? that way he can be close to you and sleep and you can still do things wiht your 2yr old? Maybe he needs more feeds? Also maybe try co sleeping...thats how I get my sleep or i would be a mess

    He is still so little and you wont spoil him with cuddles. Just remember this too will pass and your doing a wonderful job xxx

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    Just moving this thread to the general baby discussion area, since controlled comforting is more suited to this section.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Dandenong Ranges, Melbourne.
    5,673

    please get yourself a hug-a-bub sling. it will be the best thing you ever bought. i honestly could not have gotten through my ds2's newborn period without it.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    it's hard isn't it? I remember that all too well.... DD hardly slept much in those early months either and would wake after 30mins... it would take 30mins to get her down and she'd be awake 30mins later! Was very hard getting much done.
    It's pretty common for his age that he'll wake 3-4hrly in the night time... for bubs this age it's quite often hunger not just cuddles they are after....
    My DD is 12mths old and STILL wakes 3hrly in the night time...... *sigh*

    Get yourself a great, comfy sling like the girls suggested, that will make it heaps easier on you so you can wear him while also helping your 2yr old. It must be hard with a baby and a toddler, I am not there just yet... so i can only imagine. but DD has always been a clingy velcro baby too.

    This too shall pass.... keep up the great work!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    Melbourne
    283

    How are you going now Indigo? This thread is nearly a month old but I stumbled upon it just now - my girlfriend had a similar problem with her daughter and despite every sling and attachment parenting method under the sun nothing seemed to help until she took her baby to a cranial osteopath specialising in babies and after 2 treatments she was a new baby worth a try?

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    3

    Getting worse

    Thanks all for the posts. He unfortunatly has been getting worse, he wont sleep in his bed for more than 20 min. I have tried the carrier and sling which will work for a little while but unfortunatly most days I cant walk around with it too long as I have back problems. My hubby wants him to go to the doctor tommorow so he can go to tressilian or somewhere so we both dont end up insane......

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    471

    I used controlled comforting with my 1st son which worked well and I have tried it with him but again will only work a few times and then he just screams when I try it again...... The longest he will sleep during the day is 1/2 an hour and when he wakes he cryes and wants to go back to sleep so it starts all over again.
    Controlled crying won't work any time before they are about 6 months of age because before then they're so immature they just don't understand why a need isn't being met.

    After the 6 month mark, they start to understand actions and reactions.

    He is not even sleeping well at night so never realy catches up on the missed sleep, most nights up every 3-4 hours. I keep thinking maybe its an upset tummy or growth spurt but it just keeps getting worse and its even getting hard to get him to sleep at night now so I am going crazy with no sleep myself and a very unhappy baby.
    May I suggest something that worked BRILLIANTLY for both my DS and is working really well for my DD?

    Get the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr Harvey Karp. I would be more than happy to burn you a copy and get it posted to you ASAP and in the meantime give you more ideas on settling your baby.

    It talks about the first few months being a 4th trimester and they talk about different settling strategies you can use.

    From about 4 months on, I loved the Baby Whisperer (not Shayne Rowley but the American site) for their settling techniques (shh/pat etc). But I found this only worked after 4 months - so both Baby Whisperer and THBOTB worked well together (similar principles)

    Now is the time to start thinking about what sort of routine you'd like bub to adopt in the coming months and introduce the concepts slowly. For example, if you want them to sleep in a bassinet for day sleeps, but cot at night, slowly introduce the cot and bassinet at the right times of day - and celebrate the times they stay there - even for the shortest amounts of time.

    Like for me, I wanted my DS in his cot for all but 1 sleep and 1 sleep in the living area. So when he was about 4 months I would get him to do 1 sleep cycle in whichever area he needed to be in for the time of day - and I'd praise him if he even slept 20 minutes without interruption. Gradually it got longer and longer - but the other thing to remember is that babies LOVE routine and predictability - so are less inclined to get upset if they know what's coming next.

    Start a bedtime routine before nighttime sleep and have a smaller variation for daytime sleep.

    I too have a 2 year old, so I completely get the time constrictions of settling a new baby as well as entertaining a toddler.

    It does get easier and with bubba 2 I think the key is to start out with consistency and praise the times they do it - even for a short amount of time - and go with the flow.

    Good luck and let me know if I can help with you that copy of the DVD

  10. #10
    Registered User
    Add CrazyLady on Facebook

    Aug 2009
    2,328

    It might be worth getting your son checked at the doctors to eliminate any medical conditions. Just as a precaution more then anything. My wee one was diagnosed with silent reflux at 8 weeks and after we got her medication she slept right through the night compared to 3 hours total.