Am I the only paranoid one?

[Glamourcide]

DH is starting to get a bit shirty with me. I've officially been back on the Pill for a whole month now, and I still won't let DH come near me without a condom on.
I know it sounds silly, but I'm really terrified of getting pregnant again. Until recently, I was adamant that there would be no more babies for us, ever, but recently that cluckiness has kicked in again and while I know I don't want to 'allow' another baby to happen, if it did somehow come about, I would probably welcome it. DH, however, still doesn't believe we have any more room in our lives for another baby, and I would hate to put him in the position of resenting me if I can't terminate a pregnancy, and I would hate to be put in the situation where I feel like I'm forced to 'get rid of' a baby *just because*, kwim?

But DH is upset about it - like most men he hates using condoms and is keen to just ditch them and get on with things. So am I, I miss DTD without them, but I just can't overcome my fear of being put in that position.

So I guess my question is, what other kind of contraceptive can I look at that is more 'permanent', but not entirely permanent, kwim? I won't use Implanon ever again as I had terrible experience with it as a teenager - I whacked on 30kgs and I believe it triggered depression. I worry that the injection will have a similar effect (but I admit I don't know much about it so someone please correct me if I'm wrong), and I just don't trust the Pill because it's one of the ones that has to be taken at the exact same time every day, and I don't have a set routine, so I'm constantly forgetting or getting behind schedule with it, kwim?
Of course DH point-blank refuses to get the snip, and often says that if our marriage doesn't work out, he might meet someone else and want to have kids with them... I could get my tubes tied but like I said, I'm kind of open to the idea of more kids down the track somewhere, and I've heard that tubal ligation can really stuff your body around and cause other problems...

I just feel a bit helpless - I want the 'perfect' solution but I know it probably doesn't exist. Am I the only one who is terrified of getting pregnant again, but not so scared that they're willing to permanently end their child-bearing capabilities? What do you do in this situation? What contraceptives WORK without horrendous side-effects? TIA for any help or advice! :/

[PumpkinZulu]

Vacectomy's can be reversed, so can tube tying (don't know the correct lingo lol) Sorry but I had to laugh at the bit where you said DH said he doesn't want the snip in case it doesn't work out with you...men, I think they just what to know they can get women pg...whether they actually WANT to or not is a different matter, but at least they know they CAN Sorry no actual advise here hun, I hate the pill for the reason you have to take it at the same time too. Hope you can relax and not feel so worried, Xx

[Traveller]

Have you thought of a mirena coil? I have one and it is fabulous, just about stopped my periods and associated PMT, plus you are very well protected against pregnancy. Also it lasts for 5 years.

My hubby also has a vasectomy though, we were taking no chances

[diannescruffy]

Your not paranoid at all, I don't trust the pill either. We use the withdrawal method, have been for 16yrs, works for us. After our third child we thought we wouldn't have more children so I went on the pill for the first time, was on it for about 6mths and fell pregnant. You really need to find something that works for you.

Regards,
Dianne

[Fleur]

Vacectomy's can be reversed, so can tube tying

True, but both are best treated as permanent options.

I was going to suggest a Mirena as well, I haven't used it but it was recommended to me by MCHN after I had DD2.

Will be interested to hear others replies... I will probably have to think about this soon..

[~me~]

Hi Glamourcide,

I had my Mirena put in about 4wks ago now. My OB suggested it as the best way to go as we don't want anymore children either and we don't want DH to have the vasectomy just yet. I am liking it...I have been spotting every since I have had it in, need to give it 3mths for it to really settle in. It may stop my AF altogether eventually. It is effective immeadiatley and also if you DTD up to 2days before having inserted.

Here is the link to the BB thread..not many replies yet, worth a read.

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...pros-cons.html

x Heather

[skeetaboat]

Go for the copper IUD if you don't like the hormones. It lasts 5 years and no yukky hormones. For $100, you can't beat it for value. I can't remember the name of it off the top of my head. Paragard in other countries but here the name is different. Some people find it has some side effects but for me, I've had no side effects whatsoever. Heaven!

ETA: I think your stance with hubby is great. You're fully taking responsibility for yourself and your current position with regards to future kids and the possible outcomes if an oopsie baby happened, and I think that's really commendable.

[alioops]

Personally I love my Mirena. The Implanon disagreed with me which put me off the depo, because depo has to wear off and cant be stopped immediately. I bled until my body got used to the Mirena (so a couple of weeks) but I cant remember exactly how long ago I last saw AF, probably 6 months? The only problem we had was that the strings were too long and scratched DH so they got trimmed and everything has been fine since.

[Traveller]

The only problem we had was that the strings were too long and scratched DH so they got trimmed and everything has been fine since.

he he, I had this problem too, my doc said it was very unusual for a man to *ahem* reach that far no problems since they were trimmed though and my OH is a very proud man now

[Just Me]

Hmmm ... interesting thread. I am on the mini pill and I am useless at remembering it. I am in a similar boat to you Glamourcide.

I am a bit scared about the mirena though - I thought it was still a hormonal contraceptive??? I could be wrong though. I have heard some of the side effects of it and I am still a bit scared of it ... I don't like the idea of something implanted in my body, even if it can be removed. I am interested to hear more about it though if anyone wants to share (sorry Glamourcide, hope you don't mind).

[alioops]

It has the same dose as the mini pill, but it is in the area it needs to be in so less side effects than the pill. And you don't have to think about it, just check the strings every now and then and if it doesn't agree within 3 months get it out. It is very much like a Pap Smear to get put in. They need to do a pap before they do it, but it wasn't too bad. JM, If you need to know where has someone trained to insert it let me know

[kelebek]

I am looking into natural family planning, basically it involves following you cycle and avoiding DTD on the days you are fertile or using the pill. It is almost the same process that is used to fall pregnant but instead of DTD you avoid it

[Turkish Delight]

*puts hands up and yells me, me, me**

i am terrified of becoming preg again. I have had a mirena for just over 18 months and its side effects are becoming increasingly annoying and more predominant.
I'll be getting me tubes tied in August and need to have it in there til then. I want it out so badly atm due to the hot flushes i am getting because of it, but can't coz i'm so scared of becoming pregs.

I get you!

[Glamourcide]

Thanks for the advice, ladies LOL Pumpkin, I know right? DH reckons he *seriously* doesn't want any more babies, but I think his ability to procreate is his 'manhood' more than anything else, he just wants to know that he *can*, unfortunately I see him as one of the people who would suffer greatly if he were to lose the ability to father more children, much like a woman who's had a mastectomy feels like less of a woman due to losing her breasts, kwim? I wish he would just suck it up and do it because it's HIM who's so adamant about not having any more kids, but nope, he's leaving it up to me to mess with my body because he won't hear of getting the snip and becoming less of a man

I'm very, very reluctant to experiment with natural methods (ie withdrawal, cycle charting) purely because I fell pg twice within two weeks of stopping the Pill, and once when DD1 was a newborn and my lochia hadn't even stopped yet... and we were using a condom THAT time, too! It's just too risky, the ol' boy's little fellas are determined b******s!

And as for some of the other hormonal methods... Mirena especially is a tricky one. I've heard some people say great things about it and recommend it to everyone, but more people have had horrible experiences and I'm not sure I want to take the risk of having a bad experience. I suppose the only way to find out is to give it a go, is it true that you have to wait for 3 months to see if things 'settle' before you can have it removed? I'm just not sure I want to go 3 whole months with pain, weight gain, bloating, bleeding, mood swings etc until I can get it removed

Blah to DH - condoms for the time being lol... I would seriously consider getting my tubes tied but again, I've heard that it can really mess with your body and cause menopausal-type symptoms, not sure if that's true or just isolated cases but would be interested in learning more... and of course if anybody can think of any other contraceptive methods that I could have a go at, I'd love to hear about it!

Thanks again for all your advice and experiences Lol TD, nice to know I'm not alone hehehe

[~me~]

You don't have to wait 3mths for things to 'settle'. It is recommended though.
I am only having the spotting with mine and no other symptoms yet, not that I know of anyway . If it hasn't settled by 3mths I will have it removed and look at other options. My SIL has it, and hers is fine. She hasn't had any problems with it.

[alioops]

AF has just shown up for me the first time in quite some time, But She is a lot lighter than she ever was before Mirena. I was a bit concerned when I first got it put in (it was the same time that Charmlea's fell out) but I decided that the only way I would find out if it worked for me was to try it.

As for weight gain try to keep up a healthy eating and regular exercise regime, I haven't gained anything, I am almost back to my pre-preg weight. I think many of us are quick to blame our methods of contraception and slower to look at what other things could be contributing. I did gain 4 kilos while on the regular pill, but I also moved to a more sedentiary job and still ate crap, so I doubt that it was the pill that made me gain weight.