In the last 48 hours DD has decided to totally refuse my breasts and they are killing me!!!
She has 4 teeth already (top 2 and bottom 2) and we think she is getting more as she has been so miserable and clingy all week. She started to bite on my nipple whilst feeding this week too, and after a couple of days of this when I worked out that she thought it was a game - laughing at me and waiting for a reaction, I started to be quite firm with her and take her off the breast. Now I think I may have adversely caused her to not want it anymore.
Everytime I go to feed her (no matter what position or what time of day/night) she now strains, pulls away and starts to scream and cry. To make it worse I have offered her a bottle and she almost refuses that too. In the past 24 hours she has barely drunk 120mls of bottle and none from my breast. She is also barely drinking any water either.
She is happy to eat tho and is gulping down her food.
What do I do next? Do I just accept that she is self-weaning or do I persist. I have been expressing both with a hand expresser and in the shower to give myself some relief as my breasts are so so sore.
i reckon it'd be pretty unusual if she was self weaning already...it seems pretty young for that? anyways, have you tried calling the ABA helpline? their number is 1800 686 2686. i called them in tears when DS was about 5 days old & the counsellor i spoke to was great - calming, knowledgeable but also really practical.
personally, i'd keep persisting but i would ring the ABA re-breast refusal & see what they have to say.
Hi
Have you called the ABA? They have great advice for breast refusal.
Any signs of illness in your DD or anyone else in the house?
Has she started to crawl or anything like that?
Has af returned...?
At this age it is highly unlikely that she's weaning, but may be reluctant to feed for some other reason. I know you're worried about fluid intake, but it's best not to offer bottles if she's like this as that can help them along in making a switch.
It is really hard when they do this, but it's usually short lived if you can just relax and ride it out (and I know that sounds like stupid advice).
Have you tried feeding in the bath?
sometimes they're more amenable to feed when very sleepy and/or just woken up.
Are you offering or letting her come to you? Sometimes it helps to let them take the lead more (they like to feel in control about things).
If she's eating well, maybe she doesn't need it so often any more...
Sometimes when they're going through a developmental milestone they're just too distracted or busy practising to take time out for breastfeeds, so that could be it. Sometimes feeding can be uncomfortable when teething too.
Ang, this must be worrying for you. How is she doing now?
Babies will usually come through a period of breast refusal and get back to their usual pattern after a few days. In the meantime, trying to bf in the bath, or in a quiet, darkened room, or even lying down in bed, especially if she's sleepy, might help. Keep offering, but don't get stressed if she refuses. Calmly leave it at that and try again. I'd also consider cutting back on the solids a little to encourage her to bf.
8 months is definitely too young to be self-weaning. Let us know how you're going!
Well unfortunatley for us it looks like our B/F journey is over. She hasnt had my breast now in 6 days and is really and truely not wanting to have a bar of it - have tried in bath, quiet dark room, even in middle of night when she is half asleep but nope she screams like a banshee and wont go near it.
She is also not really responding to bottles either - happy to have water but not a lot of EBM or formula. She has had some homemade soup a bit in the last couple of days in an effort to get some liquid into her.
Reduced her solid intake for a couple of days too (inadvertantly as we were busy and out and about alot) but that didnt make her want to drink either.
Took her to the docter Saturday thinking she may have an ear infection but nothing there. Good I suppose but I was kindof hoping to have an answer.
So thanks again ladies. I still have milk as have been expressing to keep my supply up so will still persist for a little while.
Ang, I'd encourage you to keep trying and keep expressing. If she does have an infection, you'll probably find she comes back to the breast after she feels better. Have you tried the ABA at all?
It sounds like you are really struggling with this and I think some extra support is definitely in order.
Ang I'm so sorry I haven't seen this earlier . Will and I have just come out the otherside of breast refusal that lasted nearly two weeks!! He is now back on the breast feeding as well as before but not as often. Before he was feeding three hourly (sometimes 2)now he has 4 and on occassion 5
feeds in 24 hours. He feeds at different times depending on what he feels like each day.
I called the ABA and got the most wonderful lady. The tips she gave me where:
- dream feeds (either on going to sleep or just before he started to stir after a sleep),
- feed after his bath/shower as they are more inclined to feed after a bath or shower with or without you,
- replicate the environment that they best feed in,
- express for a few minutes until you get let down before starting the feed so they get instant satisfaction,
- (now this one is a little bit naughty but hey whatever works) put a bit of glisterine on your nipple as it will taste sweet and entice them to attach. You can put this on whenever they come off as you only use a tiny drop on your finger to rub on your nipple.
- have as many cuddles as they will allow you too with your top off so they can snuggle your bb's if they want too,
- I would cuddle DS topless and then express some milk and more likely than not he would grab at them, milk would cover his hands and he would put them in his mouth and go back for more,
- Try different feeding positions to shake it up a bit. DS feeds cradle hold so I tried laying down, sitting him upright facing me, footballer hold.
- And keep expressing regularly like you have been,
- She also told me not to keep trying him for longer than 5 - 10 minutes as if he isn't doing it he wasn't going too,
- Also don't just offer for the sake of offering wait until he was showing obvious signs of hunger,
- Lastly don't be surprised if he only feeds for about 5 mins each breast as they as so efficient now and that can be all he wants.
I hope that some of these will help you get DD back to the breast. Best of luck hun!! If you need anything please just PM me.
Last edited by Liviam; March 8th, 2010 at 03:26 PM.
: Forgot some tips
Oh I forgot to add if you think they are teething before you feed grab a facewasher/cloth dampen it with cold water, cover your finger and rub (quite firmly they love it when teething) where they are teething. DS loved this, and still does.
Great advice already on here, but you could also google 'nursing strike'. Its very common at that age it seems, and I think teeth/development is the most likely suspect.
You're doing so well to keep expressing. I would be the same, because 8.5 months is too young to self wean i think.
Thanks everyone for your interest, concern and support but our breastfeeding journey is now over. Despite trying virtually everything DD isnt willing to come near my breasts so I have accepted it altho I dont particularly like it.
It didnt exactly help but with DH currently working away and having 2 other littlies in the household I havent been able to give DDas much of the intense one-on-one time that was perhaps needed to get her back on the breast.
So thanks again ladies, I truely enjoyed my breastfeeding experience with all 3 children and am glad that I was able to give them as mcuh as I could.
I'm so sorry that your b/f relationship is over but you have done the most amazing job getting as far as you did with two other little kiddies. Well done on the start you gave your gorgeous kids!
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Help - Total Breast Refusal @ 8/5mths
Ang, this must be worrying for you. How is she doing now?
She hasnt had my breast now in 6 days and is really and truely not wanting to have a bar of it - have tried in bath, quiet dark room, even in middle of night when she is half asleep but nope she screams like a banshee and wont go near it.
) but that didnt make her want to drink either.
Despite trying virtually everything DD isnt willing to come near my breasts so I have accepted it altho I dont particularly like it.
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