Adult Kids - Do/Should They Still Pay Board?

[fionas]

OK, admittedly DP and I grew up centuries ago but it was usual for adult kids living at home to pay their parents 'board' as in an amount to contribute to household expenses.

Usually it was a third on the basis that the other two thirds were for spending and saving. I grew up in Thatchers Britain where it was actually quite tricky in our area to find a job so parents would still charge their kids 'board' from their dole money. Everyone thought this was fair enough.

We may be in this situation in a couple of years with DSD and we both agree that she should pay board if she's working or claiming benefits (hopefully not). Different story if she's studying.

Just wondered how hard done by she will feel given that this is probably not the done thing any more? Or is it?

[kirsty_lee]

Well she'll probably still feel hard done by but don't really think that's the point lol If we were to give in everytime our kids felt like that well.. where would we be lol. When I started year 12 my parents told me it was time for me to get a job and pay my way. At the time, I thought it was totally unfair, considering during year twelve I was doing 40 hours a week, seriously. As a result lets just say my grades weren't the best. SO I had to pay 200 bucks a fortnight but on top of that, buy my own groceries and toiletries etc. And yeah I did think it was sucky cause I never had anytime to do anything cause I was always working or studying but now at my age, i'm glad I did it. Cause shortly after finishing year 12 I was kicked out of home and had to survive on my own and because I knew the value of a dollar and knew how to make 20 bucks last a fortnight I was ok on my own. My brother on the other hand is going to be 30 and still living at home. Never had to work, only just go a job now and he's 20. Never had to pay board, cook his own meals etc so yeah... not sure if that helped lol

[Cupcake]

Im 23, when i started fulltime work at 17 i was at home with mum and i paid $100pw. I then moved in with dad at 19 and paid $80pw. I didnt have a problem with it...its part of growing up and gaining more responsibilities

Prepared me for when i moved out of home at 20 too!

[YoYo]

I started to pay board once I got a job when I was 16.....I think it's fair enough. Of course you feel totally hard done by! What teenager wouldn't! But it's life and the sooner you learn to deal with it, the better off you'll be. Nothing in this world comes for free!

Admittedly,I didn't pay that much ($50 a week for everything - but I didn't earn much), but it still teaches you something. I was able to help out my Mum with extra when she was having a hard time with money too (and dad away working).

Paying your way is just a responsibility of life....whether you earn much, or not!

[Trillian]

While I was still at school I used to pay $60 per fortnight board to Mum, but we were in a situation where we didn't have a high income as a family so I felt it was only fair. I also payed board to my Aunty when I lived with her part time while I did further study. It really isn't much to ask and I don't see why older children should effectively sponge of their parents and live in the home for nothing when they are fully capable of earning money themselves kwim? Plus any board that you charge is still going to be way less than what they would pay in rent, utilities and other expenses if they lived on their own or in share accomodation.

[~Kim~]

I paid board once I finished my degree and began working FT. It was only $50 a week but Dad didn't agree with Mum on it so that's what it was. She used to save it up and give it back to me a Christmas though, God love her.

[LionsandBears]

The rule with my Mum was that as long as we were studying, she'd support us, but if we finished/quit uni, then we had to pay board. I don't remember how much it was (early 90s), but it was more than fair. We also had jobs from when we were 15 & had to buy our own clothes, entertainment with that.

We always thought we were so much better off than those kids who never grew up, lived with their parents into their late 20s/30s and never learnt to look after themselves. We always thought people like that were pretty useless and it still annoys that my taxes are paying for their unemployment benefits, the bludgers.

[STARRYSKY]

When I left school at 15, my parents told me I had to start paying board, $50 a week, they still fed me, but I bought all my own toiletries, clothes, etc.

then when my BF moved in when I was 18, he also paid $50 a week and we contributed 3 monthly to the electricity bills, phone bills etc.

TBH I never begrudged my parents this, but that being said, my brother moved back in with his GF in while they were building their second home, my parents never asked them for a cent! was not happy about that!

Also I still have 2 brothers living at my parents house, (25, 23) one of whom has no job and never pays a cent either, its really not fair, but trying to get money out of him is like trying to get blood from a stone.

In my situation I think it was totally fair, seeing as I left school, got a job, (against their wishes) If I had stayed at school, I doubt they would have asked me for money, unless it was to contribute towards a high bill.

I dont see a problem with expecting family members who are working to contribute in some way towards the running of a household that they live in, as previous posters have mentioned, it does set you up to learn how to survive in the "real world".

[Cally]

I definitely think it is a good idea, we always paid my parents something once we were working and still at home. It varied depending on how much we earnt. So my sister who was at uni and just doing part time work may have only paid $50 a fortnight, while I was working fulltime and paying $150 a fortnight. I also think it is important that even if kids pay board, they are still responsible for some of the jobs around the house, otherwise they can see it as a bit of a 'hotel'.

[Lisa]

When I left school and started working full time, I had to pay board to my parents. If I wanted my room cleaned, my washing done etc I had to pay my mum to do it for me or do it myself. If I was to stay in study I wouldn't have had to pay board. We will be doing the same thing for our children.

[indie24]

When I left high school I paid my parents rent. I can't remember how much it was but it wasn't much maybe $50 a week. When I finished TAFE and started working full time I paid them more.

Slightly OT but while I still lived at home, my dad loaned me small amount of money for my car (I had saved all but a few thousand for it) and I had to repay that loan with interest.

[~Kaz~]

The rule with my Mum was that as long as we were studying, she'd support us, but if we finished/quit uni, then we had to pay board. I don't remember how much it was (early 90s), but it was more than fair. We also had jobs from when we were 15 & had to buy our own clothes, entertainment with that.

:yeahthat:

As others have said, it teaches/develops financial responsibility and means that it won't be such a rude shock when she does finally move out to pay rent/bills/food etc by herself.

If it's how you plan to do things in future then dicussing it now (not in a full on way but just dropping it into conversation at opportune times) might be a good idea so she knows what's coming and what will be expected and the reasons behind it. We always knew the 'rules' around this stuff in advance so it was just accepted and no big deal in our house.

[Traveller]

When I was in 6th year (year 12 equivalent) I had to do all my own laundry, and cook a family meal once a week, Once I left school and got a job I had to pay rent, whilst still continuing to do my own laundry, cook meals and contribute to household chores.

My husband on the other hand had to pay his folks rent but got all his cooking, cleaning and laundry done for him. Even when he moved out, his mum would do his washing and clean his kitchen any chance she got. Personally I feel this is a really poor example and thankfully DH agrees with me so our kids will be contributing to the household chores, as well as paying a nominal rent once they are earning full term (or claiming benefits, but hopefully that will not happen). I do not intend to run around after anyone in this household once they are old enough to do it themselves

[briggsy's girl]

my folks were on very low incomes so, on my 16th birthday, i went onto youth allowance. from that day, i paid board when i was staying at home. when i went away to uni, i paid my own way, so if i went home for a "holiday" from uni, i paid a token amount towards food and stuff, but over summer when i was there full time again, i paid board. i think i paid a "per day" amount cos i used to stay with my bro sometimes and would give him money if i was staying there. worked out to about 10bucks a day

[Ree*Ree]

Yup, ever since I got a job at 15 I had to pay board. We based the amount I (and my brother when he got a job as well) had to pay on how much I was earning - 10% of my weekly pay. From then on anything not school-related that I wanted, I bought for myself. This was when I was allowed to get a mobile phone as well - when I could pay for it myself. I think it's definitely fair to charge board, I'm not letting my kids bludge off me once they are earning their own money!!

[E_Kids]

I have two children that work full time and pay board.....one of the reasons that they pay is DH and I was to instil in our children that nothing in life is for free and you do have to work hard for things that you want.

They have a bedroom each of their own also.

I have cousins that have children also and when their children where younger and living at home they charged there children board when they began working.The parents where pritty well off and didn't need the money so they decided to open a bank account in the kids names and put the board in the account for when the decided to leave home they had the money there to get them started.

[ss_storm]

My older brother will be 24 this year and still lives at home. He works as a farmhand for my parents and mum takes money for board out of his wages each week.

I think if they are working then it is fair enough they help contribute to the household they are living in, even if it's only $50 or $100 each week it's still a financial contribution and sets them up for their future responsibilities when they do eventually move out of home (although in my brother's case I don't think he'll ever leave )

[Rouge]

We plan to make our kids pay board, and then invest it for them to give them later in life for a house