Need to stop 'treating' myself with food

[Sterla]

I need to lose a lot of weight (about 40kg). I know what I need to do to lose weight - I'm happy to exercise (I actually quite enjoy walking and exercise), but where I run into problems is food! I can eat well all day - but at the end of the day after DS has gone to bed, all I want to do is sit on the couch, watch some TV and eat junk food. That's what I do almost every night .

I know why I do it. If I'm being honest, I guess I find being a mum really hard. DS is such a good little boy, but I still find it hard - some days more than others. So, when DS goes down for a nap or goes to bed of a night, I feel like I 'deserve' a treat. The treat is always food - usually something sweet. It's such a strong habit too, it's tough to break.

Has/is anyone else like this? How did you break the habit? What could I replace the food treat with? Or is it just a matter of me toughening up a bit .

[AnyDream]

Oh yeah I hear you loud and clear. And I need to lose a lot of weight too.

I think it has to do with the satiety centre in the brain. If you're not getting enough sleep, sex, meaningful interpersonal contact, whatever, then it creates a gnawing hole in your biochemistry. Food -esp things like sugar & chocolate & alcohol - actually press that biochemical button and give you a feeling of fulfillment. It's chemical. AH I know how sad that sounds...I feel fulfilled by my chocolate. But that's really what's happening. So it's helpful to think in these terms and work out what else you could be using to press that biochemical button - more sleep? Exercise in the sunshine? Sex? Time doing a hobby? Apparently meditation practice can help with this, and this is the angle I'm trying to work on at the moment. I know i'm yearning for something meaningful in my life - no amount of chocolate is ever going to fill that void.

[Sterla]

That's really interesting Marydean, thanks . I could definitely do with more of those things you stated, lol.

[Mak]

You are (both) not on your own!!! MD has some great advice there - I definitely eat to fill a void, mostly atm to lack of sleep and some family conflict. I find that as part of the void filling I really do not think about what I am eating AT ALL. So awareness of what I am doing (simply eating slowly and not whilst doing anything else) and why is a really big one for me. Really hard when stressed and tired too. I am trying to treat myself with other stuff - so time on BB, a magazine, a long term goal acheived (so I recently got an eyelash tint). It is really important to be sensible about things and to be kind to yourself whilst you are in the process of change, so not throwing it all away if you have a bad day etc. Good luck - you can do it.

[Astrid]

I am the same. Had a great day yesterday with good food and some physical activity. Once the kids were asleep I just wanted to eat something sweet. I sat there flicking through a Nigella cookbook looking for some inspiration for something to quickly whip up. Think I need to go back to having a block of dark choc lindt in the house, that way I can just have a square and it just takes the edge off wanting something really bad.

[sloane]

i am also the same! bad day? better have something tasty to make me feel better. something good happen? oooh...better have a nice meal/treat to celebrate the time i've best been able to conquer the emotional eating is when i was training to do a fun run. sounds kinda silly now but if i didn't eat well during the day then i felt awful going for a run after work & just had no energy for it. it got me to a place where i really viewed food as fuel for my body & i found myself eating what i needed to get me through the day & the run. so i ended up eating really well. i noticed that when i was going to see a personal trainer that it had the same affect & that was exactly the same way he viewed food - not as a treat/something yummy to make you feel better etc but he ate exactly what his body needed.

so...i think for me the secret is probably exercising because it gets me in a better headspace for eating but now i just need to get off my bum & actually do something!

[Jas]

Abso-freakin-lutely get what u r tlking about, I have been on ww's for 6weeks tomorrow and I have changed the foods I eat after dark and during nap times and also I have actually cut down massively what I eat at those times, cutting down hasn't been something I tried to do it just has happened as I've eaten better more filling foods during the rest of the say and breaking that habit I think I'm just no longer addicTed to the crap.

Some great snacks I have found are

those little packs of popcorn, you know the ones ppl buy for their kids sometimes? They are 1.5ww's points per pack and just like movie popcorn

Forme yoghurts 1pt

jarrah extreme choc sachets (just discoverd this week) YUM! I think they are 1pt

Low fat custard with sliced banana (1pt for half cup custard and 1.5pts for medium banana) often dh and I have half a banana each

Fruche - 2pts i think (havent had for a while)

rice crackers and salsa (10rice crackers are 1pt and salsa is 0pts)

You can make the yummiest nachos with mountain bread (just as good as normal chip nachos and a million times less fat etc) I think all up with chips, reduced-fat cheese, weight watcher's sour cream and some shallots its about 3.5pts

watermelon 300g for 1pt

Those little pavlova nests with some yogurt and banana or whatever you want to put with them (the nest are actually only 0.5pts each!

Hope these are some good suggestions for you and believe me I felt like i could never stop eating all the junk at night but just so easily by adjusting all of my diet I have just had the night time eating fall into place. I really recommend ww's I think its great for mums and really really is a long term forever sustainable way of eating. I have really found that I haven't cut down food and realised I was making some really really bad snack choices and thinking about those a bit more and going for better, even more enjoyable choices has made all the difference.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I havent read all the replies but what i have done recently to try and eat better during pregnancy is when i do my shopping i avoid the junk food aisles and i stock up on oranges (loving valencia ones right now) apples (jonagold mmmm) grapes, bananas, watermelon and rockmelon. And when im feeling peckish i either grab an apple or an orange. Or what i did the other day was made this huge fruit salad and it had me tied over from 1pm to dinner time. Replace all the foods you usually sit down in front of the telly with some nuts or fruit. If im wanting something sweet an orange or apple fixes that for me.

HTH

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I think it has to do with the satiety centre in the brain. If you're not getting enough sleep, sex, meaningful interpersonal contact, whatever, then it creates a gnawing hole in your biochemistry. Food -esp things like sugar & chocolate & alcohol - actually press that biochemical button and give you a feeling of fulfillment. It's chemical. AH I know how sad that sounds...I feel fulfilled by my chocolate. But that's really what's happening. So it's helpful to think in these terms and work out what else you could be using to press that biochemical button - more sleep? Exercise in the sunshine? Sex? Time doing a hobby? Apparently meditation practice can help with this, and this is the angle I'm trying to work on at the moment. I know i'm yearning for something meaningful in my life - no amount of chocolate is ever going to fill that void.

That is awesome explanation!! When I feel more fulfilled I definitely eat less junk. Now I am unhappy with new work, not really anyone to talk to and wanting junk more and more often. I always wonder how I can know what I need to do and want it so badly but the compulsion for junk always overrides.

PS. I am on the 40kg to lose ship as well.

[feeb]

I hear you as soon as DS1 goes to sleep in arvo I eat chips or choc or biscuits as a treat!!! At night when he goes to bed it is choc, ice cream, choc pudding etc!!!!!

Marydean such an awesome explanation and so very true!!

I need to loose wg but too tired to exercise!!!!! so what do I do sit on couch eating junk watching tv and surfing BB!!! LOL hmm not good

[Arimeh]

Yeah I got about 40 to lose too *sigh*

Sterla - every time we get together we should go for a walk - cos at least it gets me out of the house away from biscuits!!!

I have to do something - I look and feel absolutely disgusting..

[Sterla]

I'm in Mel You got a park out your way? We could walk there, take the kids?

[Arimeh]

I'm in Mel You got a park out your way? We could walk there, take the kids?

Only the gravelly beach one that we went to at easter?

[anney]

Hi Sterla,
I can really relate to this:

I feel like I 'deserve' a treat.

DD was a shocker to get to bed when she was little and I would always have a block of chocolate in the house and as soon as I got her to sleep I would have a few squares of chocolate and a cup of coffee and a few minutes doing nothing!! I realise it is easy for me to say this as I don't have a weight problem but maybe just try to limit yourself to a small amount. I think trying to stop it altogether would be too difficult.
I don't know what it was that got me to stop this as DD is still not good at going to sleep but something else must have kicked in. good luck with it. I know it is difficult when you feel that some parts of being a mum are hard.

[Sterla]

Mel: Mmm, that park probably wouldn't be the best to walk to from your place. I'm sure we can think of something .

I thought I should update here - as some of you may have seen, I've actually (finally) started getting serious about losing weight and have lost 2.5kg so far - will weigh again on Monday. I am still treating myself, but I'm limiting it - like you said Anney . I've been stricter on myself through the day - no junk, but then of an evening, once DS is in bed I'll have a row or two of chocolate (which believe me, is a vast improvement!). Also, throughout the day, I've tried to just have a cup of tea if I feel like something to go with a TV show or BB browse .
The other thing I've started doing is walking everyday.

I'm feeling really good about it. I don't feel like I'm missing out, and I just remind myself through the day that I'm allowed something of an evening.

[luna moth]

First up is to remember this: "What I put in my mouth will not change the way I feel"

And then, yeah, substitution is good to a point, but once a week, actually treat yourself. So, for example, have a 99% fat free hot chocolate for 6 days of the week, but then on Thursdays (or whenever) have some real chocolate. Buy the best stuff you can, and make it really special. Then you can look forward to it all week, and it is your true reward for making it through.

Heaps of good substitutions:
(this is how I started out 20kg ago. Now it's a whole different story and I have wiped these habits out completely)
chips = rice crackers (seaweed was my vice)
salted nuts (count them out into a little bowl and then put the packet away.
celery sticks with a delicious dip (I now make all my own)
corn thins with vegemite
chocolate = low fat hot choc (esp in Tassie with your delicious cool weather!)
low fat flavoured milk
ice cream = yoghurt type thingies
lollies = dried apricots and dates

Sounds like you're well on your way! Good luck, love! You can do it!

[SammyRo]

I'm glad i found this thread. I need to lose 25kg's (I think even more if I was to get to what the experts say is my ideal weight for my height) but I struggle with food when I'm home all day. I'm the same - DD is being a pain, oh there's a box of tim tams in the cupboard. Yesterday, I had four! I had only bought the box to take to a friends for coffee but because DD had gastro we didn't go. I know what I need to do to lose weight, I know all the healthy eating habits, etc, etc, but just the motivation and to break the habit. I try not to buy the stuff in, but it doesn't always help.

I've decided to join a gym as I know this has worked in the past, but because I've said I'll do it once DS is 12weeks old, I'm using it as an excuse - oh, it doesn't matter if I have this cake, in a few weeks time, I'll eat better, etc.

I know its also a boredom thing - like Marydean said, its a substitue for something - I think in my case, its not using my brain as much. I want to get back into craft - but thats also something that I keep saying, "oh when we're in the new house, I can do it but I've no space here". And I want to go back to uni, but the course I want to do there is no midyear intake, so I've got to wait till next march. All these excuses