I alwaus dress modestly, so a knee length or longer dress or pants and a top which isnt too low cut etc.
I have taken my children to funerals as it is part of the life cycle...and you know when people see a baby they tend to get a little happy...I know its time to mourn but sometimes people need to see something to make them smile too?
I say yes. I took a baby to a funeral; we knew the widower and he was happy (if that's the right word) to see DS there. I would say that if the baby is screaming then leave the service, but my DS slept through the entire thing, which was great for me.
As for what to wear, a lot of people stipulate "happy colourful clothes" but if not, wear something sombre. It doesn't have to be black; gray and white are also colours of mourning. Dark colours should be OK if that's all you have. My funeral plan stipulates that mourners MUST wear black because you're all going to miss me and mourn me properly. It also states DH and DS must wear mourning for at least 3 months, ideally a year. But most people aren't that dictatorial.
i went to my cousin's husbands funeral just a few weeks ago - i was concerned about taking DD, so i asked her for HER take on it. she said exactly the same as the others - seeing a baby reminds people that life is precious and she wanted DD there. we went, and DD was perfect. she was a bit chatty and i felt making too much noise (the set up was attrocious - no speakers etc) - so i had her in a ring sling and just went and stood up the back.
if you're concerned about taking your bub, ask the people closest to the person that passed away. some find it difficult but most will welcome the distraction
I have just been to one two days ago. I wish I could have taken my children, but logistically this was impossible. It would have been wonderful to have them there, but in retrospect, as I was a pallbearer and had noone (I could ask fairly) to mind them if they played up and it was over 40 degrees it is better that they weren't.
I think it is wonderful to have children at funerals. I also think any attire is ok as long as it's not provocative.
I was having this discussion with my best friend only yesterday as she is attending a funeral this week. She thinks it does not matter what you wear. Although I kinda think it does matter.
When I attend one, I always were nice dress pants, a top and a cardi. Its just personal preference though.
I think you should be dressed nice in pants, dress or skirt but not to over the top. And alot of people do not wear black to funerals now, which I think is great.
And I would take your baby, although if he/she cries alot then I would just walk outside for a little bit.
I have just done a funeral this week and children were there and parents either took them out or stood at the back.
The dress code for funerals is usually neat casual unless you know otherwise. On the other hand we have had people turn up in their work clothes as they are there just for the service before returning to work. I think people accept this and people who are casual as many are there to pay their respects before going back to work.
I think the main thing with children is as long as they are quiet and not disruptive then they are fine to stay in.
If it is a family/close friend funeral get someone who knows your child to come along and mind them during the service.
Hi there.
I was at my grandfathers funeral 2 weeks ago.
It was a catholic ceremony.
I wore a nice skirt and top, and the kids wore their best clothes.
Dh wore a collared shirt and tie.
There were 3 children there under 2.5years (2 mine and 1 my sisters baby).
They would talk loudly every now and then and did yell out to my Dad when he went to the alter to say the ulogy.
To be honest no one gave us looks or anything but it was our grandfather and these were his only great grandchildren.
My Daughter even came up to me to give the thanks for the ceremony at the microphone.
However if it isnt a close family member i would still dress respectfully and i would stay near the back or exit point incase your bub gets upset and the family get upset if they cant hear the speeches etc.
The couple that we've had to go to I've been lucky enough to have someone able to come to walk DD in the pram while the funeral was on.
I always wear 'nice' clothes to funerals, as a mark of respect I guess.
I am going to one next week and will be taking DD2 as she's only 10wks and BFing but will be leaving DD1 with a relative as she is such a full on kid, she would not sit still or stop talking.. she's only 17mths so thats to be expected.
Regarding clothes i have always found black pants/knee length skirt and a nice top with a black jacket (if cold), i generally go with all black or black and white, neat, simple and not over the top.
Sorry that you have to go to one aswell, i hope you get to say goodbye and remember some happy memories.
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