Private Arrangement

[username]

Hi

First of all I am a father of a 7mth old Boy.
I have a query of sorts.
I have a private arrangement set up, where I was paying what I had to via CS instructions. I have since been made redundant. I am now on centrelink payments.
The problem being is the mother of my child has gotten angry at me for even mentioning that I lower my CS payment somewhat and basically being one who cant say no, am paying what I was when I was working. The amount I pay would well and truly cover everything for my son, she would not have to pay a cent. The thing is Im really struggling to live on what money I have left. I see my son for 6hrs per week, thats all she will allow me. And really am scared she will not let me see him at all if I lower the payments. Apparently she is struggling haha she has no care for my welfare. Even though she knows Im on centrelink, she actually asked for more money today, of course being the fool I am, I said yes. I know I should get a job, but I have been trying and well lets just say its not working out at the moment. Not too many jobs in my line of work and well I cant even get a job as a labourer even, as I am just an office worker (was told that by 2 different companies).
Im confused in what path I should take in this regard...I paying over 20 times the amount I should be and see my boy for 6hrs a week and have to drive 40mins to pick him up and then drop him off. She will block me if I lower my payments and I dont have the money to get to court. So im stuck against a wall with no where to go. Asked for more time, not a chance, she likes the arrangement we have. She made the arrangement, I gave options that were all rejected, so I had to go with the 6hrs.
Just another dad wanting to be a dad and being denied.
Im being rimmed up the you know what and taken advanced of...very hard

[tattoo_mama]

you can ring the CSA yourself and tell them you have lost your job, you may have to send in bank statements or centrelink letters to prove your income. my ex partner lost his job and informed CSA and now pays less CS... the amount you pay is based on alot of different things including how much you earn, how many kids you have and howe often you see them.
your ex cant just tell you you cant see your son, if you are the father on the birth certificate then you have a right to see your son and will have to get in contact with family law courts if she isnt willing to 'play nice' and let you see him.
i know where youre coming from its all very messy but in the end will be worth it to see your son.
hope that helps good luck

[~clover~]

You need to pay what csa tells you, not what she tells you. You can't keep doing this.
Can you talk to someone at legal aid about your options? being on centrelink you should be able to, but not sure if they cover that part of the law.
Don't let her push you around. Its not fair on you or your son.

[Peg]

she's being completely unreasonable imo. If i were you, i'd be getting in touch with CSA and ask them for a proper assesment. they will then send her a written assesment notice of the amount that you are liable to pay (or not pay)

Having a private arrangement is great if both parties are willing to come to the party. But in your case, it doesnt sound like she is doing the right thing.

If you are on benefits, your cs should be nil.
However, you can work out an arrangment whereby you agree to pay some of your sons costs with her directly. He's obviously in nappies, so you could contribute to some of those sorts of costs for him. Giving what you can afford to give is certainly reasonable...more reasonable then what she is being.

If she tries to stop you from seeing your son, call the 'relationship centre' ask CSA for the nearest office to wherever you live, they are a completely free service. Make an appointment with them and they will try to help you sort it out by helping to negotiate with her. Once you contact them she is obligated to attend and if she doesnt, then any legal advice you seek will take her refusal to negotiate into consideration. They can also offer advice on where to go for free legal assistence. And just so you know, the law in australia favors shared custody these days. They will not deny a father access rights except where the father is a drug user or abusive/violent etc.

good luck with it.

[Pandora]

You need to go through csa.
They tell you how much you pay and your income plays a big part. A private agreement will not work when one party is acting the way she is.

What is the extra money for?
You don't have to pay extra that's encouraging her behaviour and enabling her to manipulate you

[~clover~]

If you are on benefits, your cs should be nil.

Sorry, but the amount is not nil if you are on centrelink payments. It does depend on circumstances, but the average for one child (or minimum as far as I know) is about $20 a month.

[Pandora]

theres no minimum, it can be zero.
But its not necessarily zero just because you are on benefits it is a very complicated calculation,

You can go online at Welcome to the Family Assistance Office website and estimate child support if you want to - its just an estimate though and you will need to know your ex partners income details.

[briggsy's girl]

i would contact CSA and get your assessment changed to what is reasonable for your circumstances - you need to be able to live - child support is paid based on a very complex calculation, but the main thing is that it is within your means to pay

as to the custody, she cannot withold access to your child based on how much money you give her. your child is not a pawn that can be held to ransom (and i'm sorry she is doing this to you). contact the family relationships advice line - they can get you in touch with a parenting advisor or local relationships centre that can organise mediation and a parenting plan for access to your baby. if you fear she will not abide by the mediated plan, you can go through the courts to have it made a court order - if she doesn't stick to it, she's in contempt of court

payment you make (or don't make) is irrelevant to your access to your baby. even if you have the financial means to pay a large amount of child support and choose not to (child support will eventually catch up with you, so i'm not suggesting it for anyone!) your ex cannot withold access to your child