thread: Private sperm donor? IUI's? I'm so lost....

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2010
    1

    Question Private sperm donor? IUI's? I'm so lost....

    Hello everyone,
    I am 42 years old, and long to be a mum. I am looking for a private sperm donor to help me realise my dream. and will gladly sign contracts for the fathers anonymity.I have looked into the different processes, and I am quite lost as to where to start. I have full health insurance, and have had the all clear from my OB/GYN. I dont wish to travel the IVF road, as age and time is working against me. I do have a heart issue, which I am told will be monitored closely during the intended pregnancy. Sadly, I had two miscarriages over ten years ago. At the time it was believed this was most likely due to my unusual blood type, and RH negativity. I am on my own now, but that is by choice. I would appreciate any assistance or advice you may be able to offer, and look forward to hearing from you.
    Thanks so much,
    Blue

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Western Sydney
    1,109

    Hi Blue,

    Welcome to Belly Belly!

    Basically there are only 3 options to find a donor - 1) ask a friend or family member (such as a BIL) to help out 2) advertise (unfortunately not on this forum) and 3) use an IVF clinic to find a donor for you.

    I find it interesting that you 'do not want to travel the IVF road'. Given your age and your medical condition its probably the most likely way that you will fall pregnant. Plus the clinic will rule out any other issues with your health. If you do not use IVF or IUI (which are controlled by a clinic) the only other option is home insemination - which is fairly hit and miss, but can work if your cycles are regular.

    Or are you meaning that you don't want to wait for a clinic to find you a donor? The waiting lists can be long. However for me personally (when I used the unknown donor) I had the security of knowing that the donor had been checked, and wasn't a serial donor, which is a risk when using an advertised donor. Also, if you have a known donor, the clinic is quite happy to work with you to create a pregnancy. This is how I eventually fell pregnant, through the generosity of a friend of mine.

    Good luck in navigating it all!

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add Shades on Facebook

    May 2008
    Capalaba, QLD
    1,243

    I would also be recommending the clinic route ESPECIALLY considering your age - also using one of their donors (especially the imported ones) usually guarantees a very high quality sample, often higher than what you would get from a known donor.
    There is a forum for "Solo Mums by Choice in Australia" which has lots of info you may find helpful (Google what is in quotes). I am a member there also and we are a lovely welcoming group
    Also if you let us know your city we could possibly give you some starting points regarding good clinics.