I want to connect with my Dad...help, anyone?

[PumpkinZulu]

My father passed in tragic circumstances in 2006. For a long time I didn't deal with his death in the best way possible. I would think about him everyday, but for over 2 years, I never really felt his presence, never dreamed about him. Maybe I was too traumatised and blocked it all out.

I have been having dreams about him for about a year now. Sometimes, maybe 4 times since he died, I feel like I have felt him present, but I am not sure. When I dream about him, the 'formula' is always the same; we are usually in the town he lived in, usually with other people. Dad is back, but to other people it is no big deal. It feels like there is a pretty good 'explaination' for why he is back that people genereally seem to accept. I am always like Dad you're back! How can you be here, you're dead!!? He usually shrugs it off. He has never comforted me, talked to me really about his death, just when he acts like it's no biggie that he's back. Sometimes, he is also the 'bad guy' in my dreams and I am afraid of him I have a fear of corpses and dead things/people, but he is always living in all of my dreams. Can anyone help me out?

[PumpkinZulu]

[PumpkinZulu]

and again BUMP

[Oscar&Grouch]

Hey hun,

I dont have any advice just wanted to give you a i hope someone else has some advice/help for you.

[PumpkinZulu]

thanks hun I'm hoping Maz or someone will come in here and give me a hand. Maz?

[Oscar&Grouch]

I hope she pops in too for your sake i do have a story tho when i was about 8 my pop passed away, the night of his funeral i woke up to a feeling of someone tickling my feet i woke up and seen my pop (well not accually him) but he told me to look after my nan. Ever since that day i have but i can imagine you wanting some answers!

[Netix]

Hi Pumpkin Zulu. Sorry to hear about your Father. I might offer my thoughts...

I think maybe you are starting to be able to come to terms with his death, and that is why he is starting to appear in your dreams, and it is more than likely that you have really felt him there. Perhaps the other people in his home town are satisfied with his reasons for 'returning', but like events surrounding his death, you need more time to 'acclimatise' to the fact that he really is there with you. I don't think he realises how much his sudden death affected you, hence the lack of comfort or discussion, and that he was ready (so he doesn't see it as a 'big' deal).

I'm not really sure on the 'bad guy' thing in your dreams. I have a thought on it, but can't quite reach it. Don't be afraid.

Regarding the fact that he is always living in your dreams, this could be because of the very fact that you are afraid of dead things/people, and he does not want to scare you. Also, I have had relatives come to me in dreams (who have passed away), and they have all seemed to be living. I can't remember if I was afraid at that stage, but maybe it was just how I was able to communicate with them. They have had messages for me each time.

I hope this hasn't made you upset, and if it has, then I certainly apologise, it is not my intention. Discard my thoughts if you want, I really don't mind.

[PumpkinZulu]

thankyou netix, that was really helpful especially what you said about the fact that he is living in my dreams because he doesn't want to upset me, and that maybe he felt more at ease with the fact that he died, hence not making a big deal of it.