Starting to get desperate with DS

[~jaz~]

DH and I desperately need help with DS. Since 3 weeks ago, DS started to wake up hourly night. He only had 2 naps during the day, 2.3-3 hrs in total and his bedtime is 730pm-730am and he'd been on routine since he was 3 mos. Before 3 weeks ago, he even managed to only wake up twice during the night for feed (he is BF baby) and he went to sleep straight away.

However, 3 weeks ago, everything went array. He started to be a little unsettle, crying all the time whenever I leave him by himself. I thought, ok he's having separation anxiety, I can deal with that, and I started to cart him around the house, room to room whenever I need to do things. Then, he started to not want to go to sleep easily. Before, it took me 15 mins to settle him do a little routing before his nap and off he went. Last 3 weeks, he will start crying once he 'knows' the routine is finished and I have to rock/pat/sing/cuddle him for at least 45 mins before he nods off and to top it off, he will not have me putting him on his crib, as soon as his back touches the mattress, he'll cry. He starts to do this on every naps and his night sleep time. Then he started to wake up hourly at night and will not settle himself to sleep. One of us has to rock/cuddle him to sleep and then we start with the battle to put him down again. I am sooooo tired but also feel sorry for DH as he has to go to work and he cannot get good night's sleep at all. But, DH and I just grin and bear it thinking it's ok..., it'll get better...

But it didn't. Last tues, DS was very lethargic and extremely sticky. I could not put him down at all and he would not have me sitting down while carrying him. So I had to stand up carrying a sleeping 8.6kg baby the whole day . But I was ok cause I thought DS is coming down with sth cause he wasn't acting like usual at all. And that night, he was down with fever. He had the fever til thurs (it was around 38-39 but comes and goes). The whole time he had fever, he was very sleepy and extra sticky, so from Mon-Thurs, I was carrying him the whole time without break, I even had to sit him on my lap when I need to go to the loo since he'd scream if I put him down and when he cried, his temp went up. And during that time, he didn't want to sleep by himself so we co-slept (with him still bawling every hr... poor DH). And he also didn't wan tto sleep by himself on our bed, so one of us would end up sleep with him.

So, his fever went away and he started to be himself again Fri night. we were hoping he will really go back to his old self (sleeping good, etc, etc). But no. He wouldn't go to sleep on his cot. So, we put him on our bed but he still wouldn't have it. He wants one of us to sleep with him. So since then, we've been carrying him around during the day, he sleeps on us. During the night, he sleeps with us, waking every hr needing one of us to touch/hug/cuddle/sing to him before he'll resettle.

I am sooooo tired.... so , my question is (so so so sorry for the extra long rant):
1. Did anyone have the same problem with baby around DS age in regards to changes in routine etc?
2. I would like to have him to start sleeping and playing on his own again but am very adamant not to do CC. Any ideas of this? Especially during the day, it's very hard to do anything with him holding on like a koala bear

Thank you so much in advance for reading my post and any comment is appreciated. So sorry for the rant once again.

[Santosha]

Sorry, I don't have a whole lot of advice, but wanted to at least offer some reassurance that what you're describing sounds very normal. My DD's sleep / settling went very bad at about the same age, as did many of the same-age bubs in my mother's group. I didn't really find any great 'cure'. I rocked her to sleep from this age, and she would still cry and protest a lot of the time, or wake the second I put her down. Eventually... like about 10 months, she started to sleep better again and now at 13 months is only waking once a night again.

Hopefully there will be others along very soon with some advice.
All the best, hope you get some rest very soon.

[onthefly]

Yep, the same thing happened to us and to others in my mother's group and I'm sure I've read of plenty of others in BB describing the same thing.
I think it's a developmental stage, and may be related to separation anxiety. Being ill will make it 100-times worse of course - DS is exaclty the same as your DS when sick.
It's really hard - the best advice I can really give you is to do whatever makes things easier right now. I slept with DS on a mattress on the floor for months as it was the only way to get sleep. He would not sleep in his cot and couldnt' sleep on his own - he would go to sleep, but was awake and wanting company every hour or so. Co-sleeping wasn't great for me, admitedly, he still didn't sleep well, but at least the wake-ups were quicker and I didnt' actually have to move.

It did get better and he went back to sleeping by himself (on the mattress) in between bad periods (he started teething at 8 months which made things even worse for a while).

I would guess if he slept well before, he will go back to that when he's ready. Sorry, I can't say when that will be Take care of yourself and arrange your life so you can get as much rest as possible. Really that's all you can do sometimes.

[~jaz~]

thank you for the replies...
DS is much much better now... off of his fever and back to being himself again. Still cries whenever I leave him but he is now ok with me putting him on the floor etc.
His sleep is better during the day. thank goodness. He still need me to lay down next to him but he does sleep and I can sneak out after half an hour or so.... His night sleep... still horrid but I'm glad knowing that it is normal...

On the high note, just after his fever, he started to sit down by himself unsupported
I know that is totally unrelated topic, but boy, I was soooo excited and proud of my little man....
Makes my backache that much bearable !!