Questions, questions, questions....

[Miss E]

So my DS is 11 months this week and I had always thought that I would wean him at 12 months. TBH at the moment I am not so sure that I will completely wean, but I would like to get down to just a morning and bedtime BF at around 12 months. I will be going back to work part-time (once I get childcare) and don't want to express etc so continuing the way we are isn't really an option and I would like to cut the feeds back before we start CC so it doesn't all come at once iykwim?

At the moment he's having four feeds a day - one when he gets up (or if he wakes in the early hours of the morning), then one before each of his two naps and the last one before he goes to bed for the night. At this point he no longer demands feeds and I tend to think that if anything BF'ing has become more of a sleep cue (he doesn't feed to sleep, but it certainly slows him down enough before I put him down).

I know it is best to drop one feed at a time, and TBH the early morning feed would be the easiest at the moment, but that is the one that I plan on keeping... So I am thinking that we need to work on the ones before his naps.

So my questions are...
- am I better off waiting till he's 12 months and I can introduce cows milk or should I start now with EBM and then change over to milk later?
- should I just go cold turkey on one (or both) of the pre-nap feeds? OR should I substitute the BF with milk?
- If I was to substitute the BF feeds with milk is it okay to give it to him in a bottle (I kinda think that would be a little bit more settling iykwim?) or should I try a sippy cup?
- How much cows milk do 12mo's need if they are completely weaned?

I think that's all of them for now, but chances are I'll pop back with more (I'm sure I've forgotten something)... TIA x

[kelebek]

how do you feel about feeding DS when you aren't working? are you working consecutive days?

The reason I ask is that I went back to work 3 days a week when DS was 11 mnths and DP watched him those days and gave him a drink of cow's milk (no sign of allergies here which is why we chose to do that) in a normal cup (he was drinking from a normal cup with help at that stage so a sippy cup would do just as well) before his nap. I would often feed him before I left for work and when I come home and then before bed. On the days I was home with him he fed as normal. I never expressed when I was at work. So I guess in a long winded way I am saying that you don't have to wean just because you are going back to work that you do have options. Of course if you want to then that is ok too.

[Miss E]

I guess I could just see how it goes, but until I get a CC place I don't know if I'll be working one day or three or on what days so it is tricky to plan... It's hard to know what to do, part of me thinks that if I could be a SAHM then I would probably just continue as we are going and wait for him to self wean, but then there is a selfish part of me that is looking forward to not breastfeeding all the time. It is very self indulgent, but I would love to be able to wear a normal bra or a dress again, have a full day out etc... I guess that's where I'd like to get down to just a morning and a night feed... But then as I write this I feel like I'm being really selfish...

I guess my concern is that if keep going as we are now, he will start childcare and they won't be able to get him to sleep without the BF and he'll end up horribly distressed. There's only really been one occassion where DH has put him down for a nap without me BF first and he really struggled to get him to go to sleep. That's where part of me thinks that perhaps it's best to take the BF out of the nap equation before he starts so that the CC experience is just that little bit less stressful to start with iykwim?

Oh, it's so hard to know what do to....

[onthefly]

First, I would say it's probably ok to go to cows milk now if you want (or EBM if you prefer).
Second, don't worry about how he will sleep at daycare. The first time we tried DS in daycare he was fed to sleep at home, but slept at daycare. I was pretty amazed to be honest. And now, second time round, he sleeps there no probs but often refuses to sleep at home. Somehow or other, these things tend to just sort themselves out and babies/toddlers will do things differently in different settings without missing a beat.
So, having said that, I think it would probably fine to just muddle through. Feed when you're home, if you want to, and offer cups of milk when you're not. If you find it works to drop a feed or two, then that's fine too. You'll be finding a new balance for yourself going back to work too and might really appreciate that special time together more if it's less frequent.

All the best~~

[Miss E]

Thanks Marcellus, I think that is what we'll do tbh. Once he reaches 12 months I might 'try' dropping the feeds before his naps but keep the morning and night going for awhile and just see how it goes. I enjoy breast feeding him and also really like having it up my sleave in case he gets sick or wakes up at night iykwim?

[Calluna]

I have no advice re the weaning, but I wanted to say you are *not* being selfish! You have given him a great start in life and to do this you have given him your boobs and your body. He has effectively owned them for the last 11months and it is totally understandable that you want them back and also want the ability to have some time to yourself.
It is so restricting to not be able to have that glass of wine or go out alone for the day if and when you want to.
So please do not feel your being selfish, you have been so selfLESS for the last 11months. You deserve a little (or a lot) or 'me time'.

[onthefly]

I enjoy breast feeding him and also really like having it up my sleave in case he gets sick or wakes up at night iykwim?

That's really good thinking! The other thing to think on is that breastfeeding changes a lot as your baby transitions into a toddler. Often times they cut back on their own. Or, even if not, you can usually cut back and chop and change without too much trouble (well, depending on the child of cuorse) as they don't NEED the milk for sustenance. It's still great for them of course, but they can always have something else if you're not there or just don't want to. And that side of things gets easier and easier as they get older since you can explain that the milk is resting now, or whatever. So this sort of compromise - toddler still gets feeds and mum gets time without - can work quite well a lot of the time.

All the best