My DS has started slapping me in the face and kicking at me when I try to dress him or put him in his sleeping bag... I smacked him tonight but was immediately sorry as it was more about me taking out my frustrations than teaching him anything (I know you can't teach 'don't hit' by hitting ) What should I do when he does this??
He's also taken to pushing me away and asking for Daddy...
Am I damaging our relationship by working full-time?
I'm hoping it's just a phase and it'll pass - but it hurts
Yeah, DS has been doing this a year or so. It's a power struggle. I tell him not to kick and pin him down, if I have to. I get DH to pin him down while I dress him sometimes!
If he can talk, have you tried asking what he wants? DS used to kick up a fuss about leaving the bath until he told me he wanted a pink towel and not a Thomas one.
You're not damaging your relationship by working full-time, but it has probably changed the dynamic a little bit. This is out of your DS's control and it could be that he is trying to exert more control over his life with you.
Do some fun things before you even start dressing or changing him - the usual smile, tickle, silly rhyme etc. As soon as he kicks, drop the smile and say "it hurts me when you kick and I don't like it." Hold his feet at the time if you need to.
Try to give hime some sort of control or special job that is really quite grown up. Let him have a go at something really new, like pouring from a jug, or eating with a grown up's fork or plate or something. Even at mealtimes, if you can share breakfast, for example, get a piece of toast, and pull two bits off, and let him choose which one you have. Find ways for him to be the boss, and it might just help.
I am working with a little guy exactly the same age as your DS, he is in full time day care, and although they may have really different presonalities, we have experienced very similar behaviour. This is just sort of based on how I have built on our relationship through it. So just suggestions.
Thanks Audax, he laughs off any attempt at me showing him how it hurt. Even DH tries to say to him - 'see how you hurt Mummy?' - but he brushes it off. Occassionally he'll give me a cuddle and a kiss when DH tells him to...
I probably don't give him as much choice as I could. He's very independent and doesn't follow direction very well (only if it's what he wants to be doing) - so sometimes it can be hard to get him to focus long enough for choices!
Oh it's so hard sometimes when they're at that age. He's only just 2 and I found with Oskar that he didn't take directions much at that age either. To be honest, he's not really taken to really "getting it" as far as instructions until the hmmmm past maybe 6 months at most. As for apologising etc, well I think at his age they go through the motions more than really understand it... that's just my opinion and also seeing how Oskar was/is. Now, he understands it and I can even ask him how he feels when someone does the same thing to him. He understands emotions and what they are a lot more. He recognises them also. Today, for instance at the shops, he saw a little boy who looked like he was moping lol and he said to me, mummy why is that boy sad and he went and asked him and asked if he wanted to share his bubbles to make him feel better... lol very cute. Now, a year ago, there's no way he'd have recognised that in another person. Hope I haven't gone off track too much and it will get better
He was quite good with me today - but then again I've been home for two days... I'll see how he is with me tomorrow and it might well be a repercussion from working full time
Had a huge cry with my sister (on the phone) today about it all - and other things. Feel a bit better now. I know it's just a phase (and apparently DH did it when he was 2 to his Dad - so maybe it's just a 'thing' )...
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Slapping and kicking...
) What should I do when he does this??
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