What to do vent

[Tan]

This is going to be long-winded so good luck reading through to the end

I have been working with a contracting company for 5 years, Im on a really great rate and get awesome benefits, between my DH and I we basically only have to pay for house repayments and food each week, all other costs are covered through our employers.

So anyway, the company has lost its major client, and after 30th June will lay off most of our workers in the new financial year and ultimately this will affect the operations of the office, basically I will be doing next to nothing by myself in the office for 5 days a week, AND This is my dilemma!

My boss has already guaranteed my job and all benefits are safe! And I believe him, we have a really good working relationship, I have re-enrolled in TAFE to complete my diploma in accountancy and after that I will do my advanced diploma but in the meantime I will feel guilty about doing the study during work hours.

DH does not want me to get a new job as i wont be able to get the same deal anywhere else and thinks that if I do go, and we fall pregnant straight away that I wont be able to get maternity leave...what happens if we dont fall straight away?!

I just got off the phone to my DH and we were talking about something, when I made a joke that I will need to have extra long lunch breaks now to fill in my day, he snapped and lost it, saying that "you needn't think that you are going to be starting late, having long breaks and finishing early" which i replied saying "no that I will definetely be doing my 8 hours a day, but that will be all" and he replies "well no thats not happening, we are here to set ourselves up and secure our future blah blah blah....so you need to work as many hours as possible" my response was "so you expect me to sit in a dog box office for at least 5 hours a day, talking to nobody and doing nothing!?" Then he made some excuse that his phone was ringing and he had to go...

So now im torn, I think

1. Go and get another job, at least I will be happier (I used to work in a dog boxed size office when I first started here, by myself, and dont want that to happen again); OR
2. Just stick it out until end of year, finish my certificates and just see if we fall pregnant and if not, then decide if I can continue or if we are, then happily trod off into mat leave for a year!

Well if you made it to this point, congratulations, and thanks so much for reading. Any thoughts are welcome, I just need to get some clarity on the matter as Im extremely confused at the moment.

[Bathsheba]

I'd make use of the time in the office! Do some "secret" study or training. What your DH said was a bit of a concern though.... honestly.... he should be grateful that you are on such a good deal... you have enough pressure with regard to having a baby HE should be the one to step up and take full responsibilty for supporting you through what could be a challenging time physically... geeze being pregnant isn't a walk in the park. It really annoys me when men pressure women in this way... they use equal work rights as an excuse to shift responsibility. I have been a SAHM for 9 years in total though and my DH understand the importance of my role which seems quite rare these days where men are expecting more and more from their wives.... being a SAHM is just not 'enough' for most men.... separate thread though.

[lovemy2boyz]

Sounds like frustrating situation! Really hard to try to plan your life when you are trying for a baby you just dont know when it will happen to me feels like all other plans get put on hold so many what if's! dont know all the facts but from what you have written maybe you should stick up with the job and studdies for awhile like you said in your option 2 dont rush into a decision see how things go.
Good luck hope things work out for you and you are blessed with that family that you dream of!

[Tan]

thanks for the reply ladies, i think i will just wait and see what happens and how im going to the end of the year, i really am no good with the what if's too but i do make myself busy with my sports and social activities, my office is right in the middle of town so if I get too much cabin fever i can just walk over the road and take a break I guess.

Bathsheba - you are right DH doesnt fully appreciate what a mum does, and thats something we are working on and slowly changing his attitude, he thinks i will be able to go back to work ASAP, he's abit of a "sexist" like that and has these ideas of what a woman should be doing....other than that though he is a great husband, very caring and loving but yeah some of his ideas are abit unrealistic i think, and until we have a child he wont comprehend how much work a mum does, his mum was a FTSAHM with him and it irks me that he is so narrow minded cos she is such a fabulous person, and i just cant understand why he cant remember all the sacrifices she made for him, financial security is a big thing for him as he didnt have alot when he grew up but we have been working in the mining industry now for 7 years and have set ourselves up very well.

I know he will expect me to go back to work sooner rather than later, but I have no intention of doing that until we have second child in kindy (hahaha i know its a long way off but thats the plan, two babies and thats it!); my most precious childhood memories is mum picking me and my brothers up from school, walking home and talking about our day then take us to t-ball training and cook dinner and wait for dad to come home.

I have told DH this before but oh well looks like he might need another touch up