DS (3) goes to a great kindy. He has recently moved into a bigger room which he loves but there are bigger kids in there. The other day DS said to me "I am not a good drawer". I was pretty surprised because he is actually a pretty good drawer for his age and we always point out things that we like about his drawings and he gets to talk about the picture etc (so hopefully not just empty praise). And we have noticed (DH and my mum on a separate occasion) some of the bigger kids saying to him things like "we are better than you on the bike. I can ride better than you etc." And it has been pointed out by DH or my mum that DS is a whole year younger and is doing well for his age (he has only just started on a proper pedal bike).
So what I am asking is if this is something I should address with his teacher or am I being too precious. I want him to be resilient and not have the opinions of other people become his reality IYKWIM. When he said he wasn't a good drawer I was worried he is starting to believe this and that it might shape him. At the time I just said that I thought he drew very well and drawing like everything else takes practice to get better. I don't want the kids to get in trouble. I just thought maybe they could do some positive role playing. But then maybe they are too young? It isn't actually meaness more competition. Anyway some reassurance or advice would be great
I deal with this a lot because I have a 4 year old who can't keep up with his 5 year old brother. I usually acknowledge that yes, he is slower but he's doing his best and he is awesome for his age. You can also compare him to what he couldn't do before. We did 2 lists with Yasin and Imran. When I was a baby I couldn't.... Now I am 4/5 I can.... They both liked seeing a list of all the stuff they have achieved (walking, eating real food, talking lol)
I think it will be less of a problem as he gets older because soon there will be smaller kids in his room and it will be his turn to be better but maybe you could encourage him to be more gracious about it than the big kids.
If it were me and it was effecting my child or making them no longer wanting to go to prechool i would definately say something. Even though they are young, it is a form of bullying. There was something in DS's prechool newsletter this week that they are addressing bullying so its something they are aware happens at that age. Im sure the kids wont get in to trouble.. it will just give the carers a bit of inside info on something they need to look out for.
DS is a big one at his nursery. I occasionally remind him to be kinder to the younger children - he and his two best mates are the "cool gang" and everyone wants to play with them. They will tell the others that they can't play with them. I remind DS how much he loved the big boy who let him play, tell him he's cool and to let other people join in too, otherwise he'll be mean. We spent about an hour talking about it, how DS can still like his friends best, but he will make the other boys happy if he lets them play. DS went from bully to hero literally overnight. Even the staff commented on it. He still has his little gang of three, but he plays with the others too now.
It isn't hard for a young child to be mean without knowing it. It's very easy to pick a young child up on that and teach them kindness. It's worth saying something, because I know how easy it is to put a child bacck on right path when they stray a little rather than waiting years.
Sometimes it can be just as simple as they know that someone can do something better than them eg. DD1 will come home and say "I can't run as fast as Harry but I can run faster than Jane" but sometimes it can be that they have been told by another kid that they aren't any good at something and they do take it on board. My DD1 is a pretty good drawer too and she often says she can't draw well - BUT this is because she gets frustrated as she knows what she wants her drawing to look like and the one she does isn't exactly as she wants it to be and she gets upset about it.
SO I think if you can work out why he is saying it then address it that way - it may not be because the others are saying he can't draw but a different reason.
I agree with what everyone has said, but I also think it wouldn't hurt to mention it to your son's carers. Feedback like that is important, and can be easily incorporated into the program, such as role playing and discussing how what we say can affect others feelings etc etc And they should do it in a global approach to the class, a way that doesn't single out your DS. That way they may also watch a little closer to see the interactions he is having with the older children and see just what is going on/being said and give you some more feedback also.
I am a firm believer in really keeping the communication flowing between families and carers, as it helps so much to ensure everyone is more settled and happy as it can be really easy for things to blow out quickly.
A fact of life? Or should I say something?
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