Honestly, it's long and whingey, no need to read as really I just want to purge!!

[ellep]

Hi all,

Well I typed out a massively long whinge, but I can't do it to y'all (so here is a slightly smaller one, lol)!

basically:

- had baby, no mat leave, struggled on partners single wage & ftbs
- returned to casual work when bubs was six months (2 full days pw)
- job supposedly easy, cruisy, non demanding role (good, as I am completely sleep deprived with little brain fuction)
- job completely opposite to description (reqs additional work from home which is near impossible! min training, max workload)
- boss not caring
- baby still wakes for a good chunk of the night (sooooo sleep deprived!)
- university study on hold (closeish to finishing too, boohoo!)
- permanent part time position applied for
---> good money, entitlements, hours pw
---> not so good having to find care for bubs additional days, will not be able to return to study as planned (again, boohoo!)
---> 4 weeks f/t training required - good and bad! where on earth am i going to find care for bubs for the full 4 weeks.

I am stressed out, as the casual work I have is just not brining in enough cash. We are really good at budgeting, cheap grocery shopping etc, but the money still isn't really there.

Ideally we would like 2 kidlets, and ideally the sooner the better (want to keep all the baby stuff together). The permanent pt job has maternity leave.

I do know that you cant always have what you want but my goodness, I am sooo freakin sick of working in crap jobs, once I finish my degree I will be a scientist and obviously at the very least better pay will follow (but better jobs too, I hope!). It just seems a catch-22 situation - if I want to get closer to finishing my degree we need to continue to struggle another 1.5 years (at least), and in a job I can barely manage the workload with, and really really dont like. If I want to get out of the crap job, be comfortable financially and have another kidlet, it is unlikely I will be able to work my university committments into the schedule and it will prolly be another 2.5 - 3 years (I am 30 now).

So anyway, you see that I am just having a whinge. I dont really have anyone who is interested IRL to talk to about this. And I am honestly aware that I will need to suck it up and deal with whatever happens. I know there are people in much worse situations!

I do need to choose though. If it were you what would you choose?

Anyway, thanks for reading if you did. It is really just me getting my meandering thoughts out there so I can sort myself out, but of course I would be grateful for any input.

Thanks again :-)

[Traveller]

Big hugs hunny and don't feel guilty because other people have it worse. Everyone gets to that point where all their problems seem overwhelming at times. I'm sure you will work out what to do but for now you can vent away if it helps.

T
xx

[deletedit]

Do one subject at a time at uni and hope like hell you can do them off-campus or there are evening classes where hubby can hold the baby?

[ellep]

Thanks for your replies!

Traveller, thanks, you are right, most of the time I can cruise along without worrying about it too much, I am a fairly optimistic type, but I have reached that point now where it is overwhelming. I do know know however that we'll get through and this was just what I needed to get it off my chest.

RumpledElf, great advice, I have actually been checking things out with my program officer coming up with a backup plan should I take the new role. I have found that I can do one course online and one externally, so looking better already!

Thanks girls, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and respond :-)