Regrets - do you ever really get past them?

[BrightSparkles]

After a somewhat liberating afternoon, it's still in my mind there are things I regret doing.
Do you ever REALLY get past these?
If you have regrets, has that affected how you live the rest of your life? Do you believe this has had a part in who you are today?

Some of the regrets I have are little - things like not calling people I should have, so taking opportunities given to me. But some are bigger that could affect more than just me. Sometimes things happen that bring this up for me again and it drives me made!

Have you had experiences like this?

[Mum2Romone]

i know exactly what you mean, sometimes its small things but some things could have totally changed your life (affected others too)
There will always be what ifs though

It bothers me sometimes too

[Rowellen]

I prefer to think of them as life's lessons. There are times I think "I shouldn't have done that" or "I should have done this" but anything that has been big enough to stick in my mind has taught me a lesson that has made who I am today so I wouldn't change it even if I could. I try not to dwell on the past as it just depresses me. I'm in a much happier place now so I prefer to focus on that.

[Lulu]

Nope. Lifes too short and if I keep looking back I'll run into a wall.

[Indadhanu]

I always try to think: I made that choice because at that time I decided it was the best choice.

Soemtimes I keep thinking BUT IT WASN'T THE BEST CHOICE. But of course I know that now, because I've made the choice and had the experience. But at the time I thought it was the right decision.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

There are a few things I wish I hadn't done, one in particular that probably wouldn't make a difference to most people here, but it meant a LOT for me. But then I realise that I've gained a new understanding of myself and my religion, and I was quite naive spiritually before, possibly even a bit full of myself and my perceived 'position'. So I can't really regret it, because my experience has helped others to NOT get into that situation, rather than just saying 'Take my word for it, even though I've never been in that situation' y'know?

[AnyDream]

Every time I find myself regretting something I did/didn't do, it's an opportunity for me to practice some radical-self-kindness.

I generally don't go around resenting what other people did/didn't do, so it's only fair to consciously apply the same sort of forgiveness to myself. Sometimes the hardest thing to do.

[Lulu]

Just to expand - you cannot always assume the OTHER path was the right one either. It's never that cut and dried, there are too many variables and sometimes it's just a cop out to stay in regret and be sad about it. You aren't growing or learning lessons - or owning your decisions.

I have agonised over the right path to take...and it's ended up being the 'wrong' path. Oh well, I did the best I could at the time. I have also made very impulsive decisions.....and they have been wrong too. So I was impulsive and should have thought it through. Ah well. Live to fight another day.

Of course we are wiser in hindsight, but if we keep looking backwards and flogging ourselves about it - well wouldn't that be a regret too? I think that would be a bigger one. Wasting time when I could be USING the lessons.

What about all the right decisions you have made? Weigh them up and I bet you come out in front

[AliBaby]

I cant think of the wording and tried to look it up online but cant find it but from the bok girlosophy that I read as a teen, there is a page on regrets and the wording always stuck with me (well not the exact wording but kind of the meaning behind it)

Often in life you might take a wrong turn, but at the time you may not be aware that is a wrong turn and you dont realise until you come to a cliff. You realise you have wasted time and feel stupid, etc. The thing is if you look back there will have been something positive that came out of the little detour. Just think of it like a side journey, not a regret.

So try not to have regrets.

[krysalyss]

I was thinking about this the other day. I have some regrets but nothing that I think about too much. But most of my regrets affect only me so for me they are easy to move past. If I had done something in the past that badly affected someone else and I felt that I had done the wrong thing at the time according to my own moral code then I know that I would have trouble moving past those regrets. It is easy to be philosophical about having no regrets but realistically large regrets can be a big block in your life. I think if I was struggling with regrets I couldn't move past after time I would probably seek some help.

[Malyna]

I use regrets as a learning experience.. Try and figure otu what it was that you were meant to learn from them and move on. Don't let them stop you from movign forward. -

[sloane]

i don't tend to dwell on things i may regret too much - i've made way to many mistakes (well, in hindsight anyhow!) along the way to spend time beating myself up about them. i think i got to about 30 & kind of made peace with myself, decided that the only way forward was to make a conscious decision to like me. faults & all. i like to think the faults & mistakes are part of what makes me, me. i hope that makes sense!

i wouldn't say i've completely managed to like everything about me - i still get hung up on the exterior - but i do think i am okay with past choices/regrets. c'est la vie & all that