'losing' your baby as they grow up

[skeetaboat]

Since my second child was born (9months ago) I feel like i've 'lost' my first born (now 3). He's not snuggly anymore and seems angry at me at times. I feel like he pushes me away sometimes and gets annoyed when I try to cuddle him. He seems to prefer his dad now, which is lovely for DH, but sad for me *sniff sniff*

Anyone else found the same?

[Laranna]

Yup, my DS went from a mummy's boy to a daddy's boy once DD was born. He's getting better though, but at first it was really hard. During the week we are close but as soon as DH gets home from work and on the weekends he prefers DH. I can't even put him to bed anymore. It has to be DH to tuck him and put him to bed! I try and do activities and spend one on one time with him whenever I am not feeding DD or when she is sleeping. I find that he plays up less the more I do stuff with him during the day.

It is sad when they reject you though. I cherish every single cuddle and kiss I get

[Miss H]

Exact same thing happened to me. The older one seems to think that mummy has been stolen away by baby and because we have to spend so much time with baby, it really looks like it. It will get better when baby starts walking and is more independent. It is horrible though.

[black_rose]

Dd1 was like that too, she would run after daddy, call out for him and preferred to listen to dh. Lately though (as in the last week) she has only wanted cuddles from me, she hangs off my leg and wants to be picked up. I am wondering if it was just a phase? She eventually warms up to dh or her uncle, but she's not running to them like she used too. Poor dh is feeling left out now.

[Tinks]

YES!!!! They grow up way too fast.

I had a blubber last night when DD1 lost her first molar

[Roryrory]

I think the parent child relationship is the only one where is it NORMAL to "lose" the person you love. If you are in a friendship or marry someone, over time you know more about them, get closer over time. With children, from the moment they are born you start separating from them, and they change. You lose the baby, the toddler, the five year old, the teen. They have their own lives, you become secondary to them, as does your once super-close relationship. Even those of us who are close to our mums, do you really think we see her as much as she would like? But this is normal. Sad and bittersweet but normal....

Every night when I kiss my boys goodnight, I image them as grown men with rough skin and stubble and deep voices. And while I want to hold onto their babyhood, their childhood and their youth as long as I can, at the same time I long for the privilege of seeing the wonderful men they will become.

[thepixie]

Have to spread the love but wanted to say beautiful, beautiful post Rory.
I do look at photos of DD and wonder where my baby went, when I see my little pigtailed princess growing up so fast. *sigh*

[feeb]

I think the parent child relationship is the only one where is it NORMAL to "lose" the person you love. If you are in a friendship or marry someone, over time you know more about them, get closer over time. With children, from the moment they are born you start separating from them, and they change. You lose the baby, the toddler, the five year old, the teen. They have their own lives, you become secondary to them, as does your once super-close relationship. Even those of us who are close to our mums, do you really think we see her as much as she would like? But this is normal. Sad and bittersweet but normal....

Thats beautiful!!!!!!!
Every night when I kiss my boys goodnight, I image them as grown men with rough skin and stubble and deep voices. And while I want to hold onto their babyhood, their childhood and their youth as long as I can, at the same time I long for the privilege of seeing the wonderful men they will become.

[Chamberry]

My DS is still a Mummys boy, he doesnt mind "sharing me" with his baby sister, but gets a bit jealous when mum and dad have hugs! Hes growing up so fast..

[kungfubecca]

I've heared that most kids especially boys switch to daddy sometimes for quite a while. my ds has always been a daddy's boy, only wants me when he's tired, hungry etc, just because well daddy's more fun than i am

[Heaven]

Rory that made me cry!

[Rowellen]

Rory that made me cry!

:yeahthat:

[rufalina]

Rory you do say it perfectly. I cant add to that at all. This parenting gig is full of bittersweet moments every day. xo

[~clover~]

No... I don't want to hear any of this!
My girls have definetely grown away from me as they've gotten older, & I've accepted it easily I guess, but DS.....
DS is my baby. I may be having another one, but I have no interest in getting him out of my bed & starting the seperation process like I did with the girls. I'll have the cot next to the bed so we can all be in there together.
He's a mummies boy & I'm not sure how I'll handle that changing

[BeautifulMadness]

MY Ds who is 3 and half and loves having cuddles with his mummy but also loves play fighting with his daddy. There are things he likes to do with just me and same for his dadda.

Both my boys re growing up way too fast for me but i love seeing their personalities and loves seeing them together.

[YoYo]

Rory, you said it perfectly. I too at times will snuggle into my DS and I can imagine him a man with stubble and a deep gruff voice. He might not know how deep my love is for him, but I know that whether he is a baby, a boy or a man I will feel the same way about him. I will try my best not to lose DS, but grow with him as he does.