How do I overcome the fear..

**Jakabella** · June 29th, 2010, 01:12 PM

Of meeting new people??

I really want to meet new people and take DD for play dates and take her to playgroup - and I get excited about it but when it comes time I just cant make myself go through with it! On the occasion that I do make myself I have a great time! Its never as bad or akward as I make it to be in my head!

I just feel like people will not like me or how I look so I dont bother so I will not be disapointed..

How do I over come this for me and DD??

Kate

**BellyBelly** · June 29th, 2010, 01:16 PM

Have you tried mindfulness? Its a great way to help reprogram your brain from anxiety. I have a sticky on it in the anxiety & depression forum somewhere.

**Jakabella** · June 29th, 2010, 01:18 PM

Thanks Kelly - Ill look it up.

**Heaven** · June 29th, 2010, 01:33 PM

practice practice practice!! Fake it til you make it!! You can do it!! We all know you are a beautiful person

**Arimeh** · June 29th, 2010, 02:00 PM

Hmm I dunno cos I don't do things for exactly the same reason. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone

**Jewel** · June 29th, 2010, 02:19 PM

I'm not sure either. I'm in the same boat.

**Jakabella** · June 29th, 2010, 04:14 PM

Aww thanks Heaven!

Mel- I will get to Tassie and visit you one day I promise!!

Jewel - I hope we find the answer!

**sloane** · June 29th, 2010, 04:19 PM

i agree with heaven on the faking it till you make it!

sometimes you just gotta put that smile on & get out there - like you say, it's never as bad as you expect! once you do it a few times, it gets easier & soon you'll hopefully find yourself looking forward to it. are there any BB members near you? cos that's sometimes a good way to start - meeting up with other people who might feel a bit the same but you know they already 'like' you from your online persona

**Party-of-five** · June 29th, 2010, 04:20 PM

in the same boat here too

mum keeps telling me to take the girls to playgroup but Im too nervous

**somewoman** · June 29th, 2010, 04:24 PM

Exactly the same here. I do it for my girl so that she doesn't have to feel as awkward as I do

**Jakabella** · June 29th, 2010, 04:31 PM

There are some awesome BB members that live near me too.. I'm looking fwd to meeting them too!!

**Malyna** · June 30th, 2010, 02:40 PM

I agree with heaven, fake it until you can do it without thinking... I'm like you - shy to the point of frustration. Plus I'm hopeless at small talk - but I keep trying. Small baby steps lead to giant leaps. For me, I'd just try turning up, then when i was comfortable with that, I'd talk to a few people, then I built up the courage to say "Hello" when i walked into a room full of people. Now I can say "Hello" and i don't mind too much if no one says Hello back.

It's a skill you need to practice - try talking to the checkout operators at the supermarket (hello, how are you, how has your day been? isn't the weather warm/cold/freezing, wish it was summer/winter/spring etc - well that's how I started.

**maz** · June 30th, 2010, 02:45 PM

There are some awesome BB members that live near me too.. I'm looking fwd to meeting them too!!

and you will hon..when you are ready

...I'll sit patiently and wait for you

I bribe myself....I have to its the only way I can go and do it sometimes. I get petrified and tense...sweats come out to play...and I seem to make an arse of myself..but its helped me change from the turtle that pull's their head in at the first chanch to the person who talks non stop.

Dont expect it to chagne overnight hon...little steps..one date at a time. Build your confidence bit by bit

**Just Me** · June 30th, 2010, 03:20 PM

I'm exactly the same - I really struggle to meet new people. I have found it easier since I have had kids though because if I am with other mums, we always have something in common and if all else fails, I just ask questions about their kids. I still struggle to do it though, I just find it happens much easier when I do. I agree with Heaven, I think it does get easier with practice and probably a bit of self confidence doesn't go astray either.

Good luck

**~Gee_Whizzy~** · June 30th, 2010, 03:42 PM

I feel the same way! - i get shy on here and ppl can't even see me

i um and ah whether to post cause im worried what ppl will think (silly i know!) but like others have said, sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and take the plunge! (says she who is terrified of meeting new ppl

**baby09** · July 1st, 2010, 07:40 AM

I'm also the same - I found I really had to push myself to go to Mothers Group and Playgroup. Once I was there it was fine but it took a lot of "psyching" myself up to be able to do it. Now our Mother's Group rarely meets up and the Playgroup we went to disbanded so I have to find another one and go through it all again.

**Jakabella** · July 1st, 2010, 08:31 AM

Thanks so much ladies! Well I made a big step and called about the playgroup in my town and the lady was lovely! So now I need to get the b@lls to get there!!

Oh Maz! You really do rock my world!! And soon very soon..
Kate xox

**~Minny~** · July 1st, 2010, 10:45 AM

I used to be like that as well, found it hard to talk to other people let alone met new people. Have to say since having kids it has become alot easier to meet people as the kids are there to break the ice IYKWIM.

P.S Cant wait to meet you one day

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