Birthday Dinner Etiquette

[Blondie]

This is a bit of a rant - but I just can't help myself!

One of my DH and my close friends had a Birthday on Saturday. She was plannning on going out for Dinner and having a nice night out with some close friends. So anyway it was only going to be a few couples but she decided to invite a couple that are RENOUNDED for bring a bunch of tight wads.

So anyway she is getting really excited about her Birthday and called me up to ask me whether $35 to $40 per main meal is an OK price to pay. I told her both DH and I are fine with it and its her Birthday so we are happy to go wherever she would like! She must have called this other "tight wad" couple and told them and they must have said something to make her feel bad. The next minute she calls me up and says "Oh, change of plans (tight wads) couple have invited us over for a BBQ at their place in Celebration of my Birthday." I was like oh that's nice of them! And then she continued onto say that they are going to charge everyone $10 per head......... I was like ummm what?

I couldn't BELIEVE they were going to charge us $10 per head for a crappy BBQ.....even charging the Birthday Girl!

DH and I would never DREAM of charging people to come over for Dinner! How bloody rude!

So, expecting a DECENT spread of food. We got there and got some left over cheese and crackers and Dip. A few sausages, some mediocre steak, chicken kebabs, a piece of bread and 1 type of Salad. The only decent thing with the whole meal was the Birthday Cake from the Cheesecake Shop.

LOL I am still reeling from this. They could have at least had the decency to shout the birthday girl. She didn't even get a card from them either!

These people are both on excellent wages (Teacher and an Engineer) and go on O/S Holidays every year, live in a nice suburb and have a brand new home. What a bunch of tight arses!

HAHA and to top it all off I just found out today that the Birthday Girl's Boyfriend actually paid for our Part of the dinner as we bought some Alcohol to take over and then thinking that I still had to pay I gave an additional $10 without realising and guess what.....they took that too!!!!

So, should I say something or should I let it be?

[feeb]

OMG no way thats sooooooooooooo rude!!!!!!

I would say something BUT DH would tell me not too and just let it go!

If we go to someones for dinner we always will take something with us, whether it be a bottle of wine or a desert, BUT I know plenty who lapt up free feed and take NOTHING ever!

Sorry not really any help am I.

[krysalyss]

Oh wow! If they aren't people that you are close to I would totally call them out over it. That is really over the top. If they really couldn't afford they could have just told everyone to bring a plate.

[tracey2010]

Now that is tight

[helle]

This really gets on my goat. It's one of my absolute pet hates when someone invites you over for dinner, and then goes "but BYO steak... and you may as well bring along a salad too"

Well, I may as well make my own tea!

How ruuuuude!

[Cassius2]

i'd just let it go. shake your head in amazement, but let it go...

TBH i would much prefer for them to say to bring your own meat etc (some ppl dont eat meat or dont eat pork etc) than charge a cover fee...to me that is just bizarre.

[westy]

Wow, i can't believe that ...... there is no way i would ever expect people to pay me to come to my house for a BBQ when i have 'invited' them over for a BBQ - tight ar$es by the sound of it.

[Cherished]

I'm gob smacked! some people are just insane! but I guess it takes all sorts in this world I'd be more inclined to just chat with your friend about it and on a moral ground find out how she feels about her so called tight A$$ friends making money off her birthday! I can't imagine it cost more than $10 per person to put on a BBQ. I agree with a PP that bringing your own meat and or drinks or a salad or something usually covers costs. I wouldn't be hanging out with those guys again

[turtleschell]

I can't believe how far some people will go to save a buck.. especially when they certainly don't sound strapped for cash.
I don't think there's much you can say that will change anything.. just gape in amazement.

[Ahurani]

Wow they are as tight as a fishes arse. That is completely bs

[RhiChiChi]

Tight & rude!

Sounds like they might have made money on that so called dinner.

I wouldn't bother saying anything though....they wouldn't get it

[Blondie]

Isn't it amazing how tight some people can be! I knew they were tight but Geeze! I'm still reeling!

I think I am going to leave it. But I'm not going to go out of my way to do anything nice for them like Dinner or whatever. If they want to catch up we can go out for Dinner but they are not Welcome at my place.

I spoke with the Birthday Girl and she said she felt really awkward and was actually really disgusted that they took the additional money from me.

As people have mentioned above I would have rather bought my own meat or a salad to the dinner or a plate of something to share. DH and I of all people know what its like to be saving money (i.e Bub on the way) but to actually charge people to come over for an intimate dinner I was appalled.

Sigh! But I have to let this go I think....for the sake of my sanity!

[RhiChiChi]

Isn't it amazing how tight some people can be! I knew they were tight but Geeze! I'm still reeling!

I think I am going to leave it. But I'm not going to go out of my way to do anything nice for them like Dinner or whatever. If they want to catch up we can go out for Dinner but they are not Welcome at my place.

I spoke with the Birthday Girl and she said she felt really awkward and was actually really disgusted that they took the additional money from me.

As people have mentioned above I would have rather bought my own meat or a salad to the dinner or a plate of something to share. DH and I of all people know what its like to be saving money (i.e Bub on the way) but to actually charge people to come over for an intimate dinner I was appalled.

Sigh! But I have to let this go I think....for the sake of my sanity!

How awful for the birthday girl :S