So I have been offered a position at a reputable company with great pay + 4 weeks annual leave. The position is full time. I am worried about going from a stay at home mum to working full time 5 to 6 days per week. I am worried about the affect its going to have on ds. My husband already works full time and financially I don't need to work, we can get by on one wage, BUT a few extra $$ wouldn't go astray iykwim.
What would you do? I feel like I need to get back out into the real world of working women where I can hold a conversation with an actual adult, BUT at what expense??
I have many questions running thru my head, will my son cope with me being at work full time? will I cope at being away from him while working? what happens to our new idea of TTC again (which we are currently doing)? what happens if I accept the job and then find out that I am pg?? who would look after ds while we are at work? local daycare only offers hours from 8am to 4pm...
Please help me I need some advice on whether or not this is the right thing to do.. the main thing i am worried about is my ds not coping at all (he can handle a day or 2 here and there, but not sure how he would go full time)... I know ppl work every day and kids are in care every day, but what impact will this have on those kids in the future??
It's a toughie isn't it? I guess you really have to think do you *need* this job? Will that extra money coming in be worth it after paying for full time childcare?
If it were me in your shoes I think I would turn it down. Especially if your TTC again. If you don't really need the money isn't spending time with your little one and seeing him grow up more important than a bit of extra cash? I went to CC full time from the age of 2 until I started school. I really enjoyed it and I think it made me very independent, my parents had no choice they couldn't afford to only have one bread winner. I do know now that my mum felt incredibly guilty that she never got to stay home with me. So I guess you have to weigh up the pros and cons? What's more important to you?
I totally understand the need to have some time away...I went back to work very part time for this exact reason. Is that something you would consider?
Right, you asked for honesty so I'm going to give it and please, anyone reading, do not be offended - that is not my intention!
If you don't need to work then don't. I don't need to thanks to a very kind and understanding DH who also earns an extremely good wage. We often comment how lucky we are to be in a position that I can be home fulltime with DD so she at least spends most of her time with one of us. We feel sorry for our friends who have no choice but to return to work when their kids are little. You miss out on so much! My DH is often sad at the little things he misses DD doing for the first time and often comments how much she has changed within a day, let alone a week!
Can you imagine only seeing your DS while you race around in the morning getting ready for work then racing around in the evening getting dinner ready then putting him to bed? I know you'd have weekends but think back to working fulltime, remember how quickly weekends go by?
I totally understand wanting to return to the 'land of the living' (aka the workforce, LOL!) but you don't sound 100% sure so trust your instincts on this one. Your DS will be off to school before you know it and you'll be wondering where all those precious moments together went.
I agree with Taurean. If you don't *need* to work, then don't. There will be plenty of other job offers in the future when your kids are at school. But you can't get these early childhood experiences back or put them on hold, they are only young once. Enjoy these moments while you can.
Can you find part time work instead? I work 3 days per week and am lucky enough to have my mum look after DS while I work so he doesn't need to go to child care. I really find it the perfect balance working 3 days and I absolutely cherish the days I do spend with DS. I feel that work has made me appreciate DS more and make me a better mum too.
I really don't think I could work full time though.
I was at home with all of my first three children, and seriously after ten years it did my head in - I needed to get out to work.
Now, with Pie, I am in a position where I went back 2 days initially, hoping to do only a 5 day fortnight. This increased to 3 days a week and now I have been asked to do 5 - I have negotiated 4. And I really am upset about it. I love my days home with her, it's special time, and it goes by so quickly.
The others are right, it's time you will never get back.
I think too if you are TTC it's probably not practical for you, or fair to your employer, to go into a full-time job JMO.
I understand the need to get out & have some 'you' space. I think it's really impoprtant to have people who relate to you as YOU, not just as a mother
Have you thought about looking for part time, maybe a day or two a week? or a course or soemthing that is going to give you a bit of you back but will be easier to walk away from if you do fall PG?
The other thing to consider is the cost of care. Long day care charge in 12 hour blocks and you will only get CCB (if you are entitled) for up to 50 hours a week (so, just over 4 days). It can get really expensive, and that's when you have to start weighing it up.
Oh, I wish I hadn't had to go back to work after having DS and I'm so hoping I'll be able to spend longer as a mummy before having to work again this time round.
It sounds like you're not entirely sure if it's right for you - and in the end only you can know. Is there any chance of making it part time or job-share at all? You might find that easier to manage. Or else, if you feel you really need something different for yourself (and that's fair enough), maybe look around for something that would fit better - ie, shorter hours/fewer days.
Your son's at an age where he might really enjoy and benefit from some time in care with other kids. Full time might still be a bit much, but a couple of days a week maybe? Again, you'd know best.
I just want to thank all of you ladies for your replies... and you are right in saying that I really don't want to go to work full time, i think i just needed to hear it from someone else... I know i would feel incredibly guilty and I definately don't want to miss out on anything in regards to ds... before we ttc ds we already decided that it was important for at least one of us to stay at home with ds and we are extremely lucky to be in a position where we can do that.. as i know alot of ppl (including my sister) aren't as lucky to be able to stay at home...
I'm so glad i could vent this out cause i think i needed to get it all down and then read it back to myself.. i realised I already answered my own question with my post...
Perhaps 2 days a week would work out, but definately not full time. I love my son more than anything in this world and his happiness is ultimately the most important thing.
thanks so much again for your help and honesty I really appreciate it love you girls and bellybelly, don't know where i would be without it
what would you do?
I need some advice on whether or not this is the right thing to do.. the main thing i am worried about is my ds not coping at all (he can handle a day or 2 here and there, but not sure how he would go full time)... I know ppl work every day and kids are in care every day, but what impact will this have on those kids in the future??
Reply With Quote
JMO.
Bookmarks