How do you stop the guilt of taking time for yourself when you work as well?

[Indadhanu]

I am doing myLevel One training at the end of this year, and I want to do my Level Two Yoga Teacher Training in about 18 months so I can teach, but this means I need to take on a qualfiied Yoga Teacher as a mentor and as someone who can verify my personal practice (12 months pre-req for Level Two training).

I'd have to do this outside of work, and it's about a half hour drive each way. Work is willing to pay for this (the training sessions, not me taking on Yoga as a regular practice). I don't want to teach outside of work any time soon but I want to be able to integrate Yoga into our day at work and want to do it properly. Level One is probably suffice, but I want Level Two as well, plus I kind of want the excuse to get back into Yoga with a teacher... I feel so stagnant at home and really want go further!

Anyway... so that takes me away from home for another 2 hours a week minimum. I don't really know if I can do that... How do I do it? I don't NEED to do it. Shel's says if I want to do it then I should do it, but she wouldn't say don't do it IYKWIM.

I don't know. The session I would take is a Sunday. That's two hours away from my Moosh too, on weekends that I have always classified as family only. They do have a 'family' yoga session, although for a start Jazz is too young (3 years and up) and that's really only very beginner/gentle yoga and not where I'd be at for training.

Why do I find it so hard to allow myself to do this... I already feel I miss Jazz all week, being away from home almost 49 hours a week (40 hours, plus 5 hours lunch breaks, plus half an hour travel a day, plus being at work 15 minutes early)... 49 hours I'm missing of my Moosh and I just feel so damn guilty about even considering want to do this for myself! What gives me that right to want to spend even more time away from her? Why did I even have a child if I'm not even going to spend any time with her??? How dare I want to do something that I don't HAVE to do in time that I made such a big deal about being FAMILY ONLY time...

To make matters worse, when I talk to Shel about 'me' time (not just *me*, a collective 'me', including her me time... you got that? ) she says she doesn't want to do things away from us because she just doesn't have that desire to be away from us. UGH! So do I feel even more guilty? You bet! Not because I have that desire to have me time, just because now I'm worried Shel thinks I want to be away from them even more, which I DON'T, I just want this as well...

ARGH! But I so want to... But I want to spend more time with Jazz too... Why can't I have everything!!!! (lol, sarcasm there... just in case anyone thinks otherwise)

[Ryatha]

ah hun, I know exactly how you feel. I am working nearly full time and I have two afternoons off a week. I know I need to spend that time on 'me' by relaxing or sewing but I want to pick Fred up early so I can have Fred time as well.

In my situation I know that a happy mum = a happy family and to be happy I need time for myself and my hobbies. I still feel a little bit guilty but I am getting used to it. I don't know if this helps but at least you aren't the only one to feel guilty

[krysalyss]

I do know how you feel as I am doing my PhD and at the moment it is full on (up to 60 hours a week) and the on top of that I do try to exercise most days because it keeps my stress down and otherwise I get headaches. But I do feel like I am missing out on DS time as well. The thing that keeps me going is that firstly I will get a better job afterwards and secondly it is only short term (another 6-12 months) and then I can take a whole year off. So I guess I can't really give advice but just say that I know exactly how you feel.

[ladybird11]

I totally understand Leasha :-)

I work full time and also instruct, and sometimes there are days when I think I just can't be ar$ed going off to instruct my classes, BUT once I'm there I just feel so inspired, that when I get home I am full of energy for the kids & DH because I managed to have that 'me time'.

[MantaRay]

Hun, it takes time I think. For the longest time I didn't do anything much for myself due to guilt, but that took its toll too. I think the key might be to make yourself a priority and remember that without refiling your bucket, you have nothing to give others. It does get easier over time hun - I hope you are able to find a good balance soon

[Mother Goose]

Hun, it takes time I think. For the longest time I didn't do anything much for myself due to guilt, but that took its toll too. I think the key might be to make yourself a priority and remember that without refiling your bucket, you have nothing to give others. It does get easier over time hun - I hope you are able to find a good balance soon

:yeahthat:


It took me ages to value my own time and to feel that I deserved me time. But when I get home from a weekend hike, or from a night with my girlfriends, or back from the gym... I am able to give so much more to my family. Without it, I turn into this horrid maniac of a woman!

[~Kim~]

Like the others, I struggled with this at first, but then I realised that me time isn't a luxury to feel guilty about - it's a necessity. You need some space that is you, that isn't work that isn't being a mum. It's about maintaining your heart, your soul, your person in order to give your best to everyone else.
Shell might not need that right now, (maybe because she doesn't know what direction to take yet, I know I've struggled with that) but there will come a time when she also recognises the need.