Just one baby?

[MummaSue]

Hey guys,

Not that we have made any firm decisions about this because it's way too early to say..... but, DH and I have always really only wanted one baby.

We have our little miss now and are soooo content. I know that maybe in a couple of years we might change our minds, but what are the thoughts on only children?

Does anyone here have just one who intend on having no more?

I mean, we have to do IVF again to have another baby anyway and I'm not just assuming that it would work again like it did for us first time. So the decision may well be taken out of my hands.

Just wondered what the general thoughts are on only children.
Thanks
Sue xx

[NaeNae]

I think what ever you choose to do will be the right decision for you.

Are you posing the question based on whether or not your bub will be lonely or miss out on something as an only child? DH is a teacher and he reckons that "only kids" are just as adjusted as kids with siblings .... I think it might be lonely for only kids but thats just my humble opinion and I know no better as I had a brother growing up ITMS.

I am sure no matter what you will make the right decision for you and your family x x x x

[MummaSue]

Yeah, I just don't want her to miss out on anything. I guess we'll see what kind of toddler she will be - she's certainly a feisty wee baby!!

Long way away for us yet, I just wanted to see what others experiences are.
Thanks so much for the response NaeNae

Sue x

[Rach75]

after nearly 2 yrs of TTC after Jack 18mths of that on clomid we decided Jack was going to be a only then bam 2 cycles later completely natural conception and Luke was conceived

I dont think only kids miss out on anything its what works for you and yours

[Persephone1]

DH and I may have to make the same decision one day. We conceived through IVF, and it was a tough ride. There's so much to consider if/when we decide to TTC for Number 2 - and in the end, the decision is really out of our hands.

Here's an article you might find interesting on the topic: Only-Child Myths Persist as More Parents Choose One Kid

Good luck with the decision hun.

[briggsy's girl]

we have already made this decision. having been through all the surgeries, IUI's and IVF, and the number of losses we have, neither of us have it in us to go through it all again (not to mention our financial state now is VERY different and not at all set up for IVF expenses!) - so, unless a natural miracle happened, DD is going to be an only child.

i don't think she will miss out on anything - yup, would be lovely for her to have a sibling BUT she won't miss out on anything by not having one. she has cousins and friends that she will have relationships with, and i (personally) feel she would miss out on MORE if we put the financial and emotional straing on ourselves to try to go through AC to conceive again kwim?

[krysalyss]

We have an only child by choice. We never wanted more than one and now that we have our lovely little family of 3 (plus hairy dog) we still feel the same way. Its for a lot of reasons but most of all feels right for us.

[deletedit]

I'm an only child and I'm perfectly normal, honest! *grin*

No really, do what works for you. If one is the number that chooses you, go for it. And go stick it to anyone who nags you for more. Mothers-in-law and grandmothers tend to be the worst offenders

As someone said further up, there's a LOT more couples choosing to have only one child these days, so its not like this is the 50s where you were weird if you had less than 4. You'll be boringly average.

[MummaSue]

Thanks so much for the response guys, good to know I'm not alone - I certainly am when it comes to people IRL.

We've only just had missy and already people ask when we're going to have another one. They look at me like I've got 2 heads when I say that we may not. It's like it's totally inconceivable (pun intended) to some folks.

And not everyone knows of our infertility issues so i guess they just think that I'll be popping babies out now that the first one is here. Not sure I'd do that even if I could!

Thanks again, it's food for thought hey?
Sue x

[MumtoA]

Hey hun,

I am an only child like R.Elf and i to am completely normal as well!!! I went through a stage when i was younger (like primary years) where i would have loved a sibling but i grew out of it pretty quickly! My parents always ensured that i was allowed to have lots of time with friends and being an only child i got to do a lot of things that my friends from big families didn't - ie. going to Disneyland!! I was also in day care from a fairly young age as my mum had to go back to work so i learned quickly how to play positively with other children...mum said that people would often comment on how well adjusted i was - god only knows what they thought i should be like!
Since having my DD - she is the same age as your little one - i can see why people choose to have only the one. I have actually considered only having one, however my DH would be pretty devastated. Being a mum is so hard sometimes and my DD caused a bit of damage on her way out so the thought of having to go through it all again is daunting to say the least!!!
As an only child, my only suggestion is as they get older it can be hard to not be to overly protective and involved in every aspect of their lives. At times, especially as a teenager and young adult i just wanted my parents to leave me alone and concentrate on something else besides me!!!
At the end of the day i believe that the decision to have one bubba is ours only so good luck and enjoy everything with your missy moo!

[NaeNae]

Since having my DD - she is the same age as your little one - i can see why people choose to have only the one. I have actually considered only having one, however my DH would be pretty devastated. Being a mum is so hard sometimes and my DD caused a bit of damage on her way out so the thought of having to go through it all again is daunting to say the least!!!

Just had to pop back in to say one thing - when DD was at the same age (3 months) I was saying the EXACT same thing - nup she can be an only child, I don't want any more, people who go back for 2nds and more are nuts blah blah blah ..... NOW DD is nearly 9 months and I cannot wait for AF to come back because I want to go again. For couples who do not have fertility issues I think just wait until bubba is 6-12 months before making that decision coz really the first 3 months are pretty hard, especially if you've had losses in the lead up to your bub being born.

For couples who have fertility issues I can completely understand why they decide to only have one and sometimes that decision is made for them.

AT the end of the day you need to weigh up what is right for your family unit. Like someone above said, having one can also lead to more opportunities like family holidays (I wish we went to Disneyland lol)

Nae x x x

[HotI]

We've only just had missy and already people ask when we're going to have another one. They look at me like I've got 2 heads when I say that we may not. It's like it's totally inconceivable (pun intended) to some folks.

it's a bit wierd, eh? i'm still recovering, and just enjoying watching my little one grow and explore for now. someone asked us when number 2 was coming along- i just said 'when DH grows a uterus, he is carrying the next one'

[deletedit]

Oh and for anyone who says "I'm an only child so I had one child" or "I had 12 siblings so we're having a big family" you do NOT have to do what your immediate family was like. I'm an only. Everyone else with kids in my family had two, but WAY later than me so I was a teenager when they were born. Various friends have one child, maybe two. I have three ... I didn't know anyone else with three, I've never seen the dynamics of a three-child family in action, let alone how they fit three into their house. It is completely new territory.

Is this a problem? No. So it won't be a problem with any other number of children either

[goddessofdawn]

Just wanted to say thanks for this thread. I have been on other forums (which I no longer visit) which said horrible things, like only children act like adults (this was said in a negative, horrible way) and that basically it is wrong to only have 1 child if you are able to conceive again. My DD will be an only child and she will be just fine.