Night waking at 18 months. Any ideas welcome.

[Rowellen]

As the title suggests, my 18mo DS is waking often during the night. His first wakeup is between 10 & 2 then it's approx 3 hourly from then but gets shorter towards morning. If he wakes about 5, that's usually it for the day even though he is still clearly tired.

There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with him. He eats well for all his meals. He has a 200ml bottle before bed as part of his sleep routine. He usually goes to sleep easily - within 10 minutes of finishing his bottle.

When he wakes, he doesn't appear to be in any pain, he just want's me there. He cries until I go to him. Sometimes he will go straight back to sleep but often (and this is the problem part) he will just lie there with his eyes open. Sometimes his breathing sounds like he's asleep but closer inspection reveals those eyes wide open. If I try to leave, he immediately stands in his cot and starts sooking. Within 10 minutes this turns to a full blown cry. Sometimes this lasts for up to 3 hours.

I have tried taking him to bed with me but this just doesn't work - he rolls around and tries to climb on me or DH and still won't go to sleep. I have tried sitting in a chair in his room or lying on the floor but I can't sleep like that. DH can but I just can't no matter how exhausted I am. Believe me I've tried.

I don't give him any extra milk before midnight as there is simply no way he is hungry. That seems to make a difference IF he does go back to sleep as then he will normally sleep until about 5 (then it's 50/50 as to whether he's up for the day).

He is teething but again he doesn't appear to be in any pain. I give him panadol JIC but it makes no difference. He wears an amber teething necklace 24/7 - around his ankle at night. He doesn't appear to have belly pains - no gas/burps/wriggling or pulling his legs up like he did when he was little & wouldn't burp. He doesn't seem to be sick. No snotty nose, fever nothing. He has been a little sick last week but appears to be fine now.

I'm at the end of my tether. I'm pg and this sleep deprivation is just so constant. I usually can't nap during the day as I work four days a week. This is me ATM and we need a screaming hair pulling banshee smilie.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? What worked for you? Any ideas welcome.

[Salad]

Sorry you are going through this at the moment, my DD is 18mths old now and I have been through this on and off since she was 10 months. I dont really have any advice except do you think maybe he senses you are pregnant. Maybe try taking a drink of water into him with you, if I do that with my DD she usually drifts back off to sleep easier, otherwise she does what your DS does and I think she is asleep go to sneak back out and she say "mum" and I have to start all over again.
Good luck I hope it fixes itself soon for you and congrats on your pregnancy.

[Visitor7]

What are his day sleeps like? Is he sleeping too much during the day maybe, and therefore is overstimulated at night?

[OceanPrincess]

I could have written the exact same post just about. I will watch keenly for any other advice people have...

[Sterla]

Oh I hear you! My DS is almost 18 months, and he is very similar. He goes to sleep fairly easily most nights, but he he still wakes several times, and has recently, in the past week or two) started waking up very early - anywhere from 3.30am to 5am. During the night he usually goes back down without too much trouble, but once he wakes around 3.30am onwards, there seems to be no way to get him back to sleep. I've tried giving him a breastfeed, rocking him, sleeping on the couch with him, sleeping in my bed with him... nothing seems to work. He still seems so tired, and almost like he is trying to get back to sleep but can't.

I wish I had a solution for both of us, but I really don't know what else to do either. I'm hoping this is a phase that will soon pass! I hope we both get some more sleep soon!

Congrats on your pg!

[diva det]

i reckon that he just hasnt learnt to settle himself to sleep- sleep that next sleep cycle
my DS2 still wakes at least 4-5 times a night and he is 18 months
his brother and sister were 3 years old before they could!!
its only a problem if it is a problem for you
he will eventually learn- it is up to you if you employ a method to help him learn or just let him learn by himself
no easy answer- if there was, then we would all lose the lovely luggage we carry around under our eyes !! LOL

[gypsy79]

Are you sure it's not the teething causing it? My DS has never been a great night sleeper, but about 4 months ago he started regularly sleeping through. Then after a couple of months, he was back to waking up. He didn't seem to be in pain or anyhting, and would usually go back to sleep when I went in and tucked him in, but I did have to go in. It only lasted about 3 weeks or so, and what do you know - a few days after he started sleeping again, his last eye tooth came through. Just a thought.

[Rowellen]

Thanks for the responses.

Salad: I did try water last night but he had been awake for an hour by that stage. I might try giving it to him straight away when he wakes tonight.

Jodi: He sleeps for about 1.5 - 2 hours around lunchtime. He seems to need it. If he sleeps any less, he is almost impossible to deal with by bedtime. He won't go to bed early either. If I try, he'll just take longer to go to sleep. I guess it's his routine. Often he seems to want more. He takes at least 20 mins to wake up properly and will cuddle the whole time and cry if I try to put him down. Sometimes he goes back to sleep.

Sterla & OP: It's good to know I'm not alone. I hope we all get some sleep soon!

det: Do you have any ideas for how to help him learn? This is what I'd like to do but how? I won't let him CIO or do CC but nothing else seems to be working. I've used Pinky McKays book for ideas but it seems to be more focused on getting bubs to sleep rather than keeping him asleep.

Gypsy: I did wonder that. There are a few teeth that seem really close. Since he seems like he's not in pain, I thought maybe it was something else as normally he does show pain. I did buy an amber teething necklace about a month ago so maybe that's helping. I'll keep checking his teeth.

Thanks again.

[Olive]

we have similar issues too.

DD can wake often in the night or sleep through, its a bit of 'whats going to happen tonight'
DD insists also that we stay whilst she falls back to sleep, its takes me longer to get her to sleep/back to sleep than DH, but we are consistant in how we go about it and it seems to make it easier.
we lay her back down on her tummy, if she rolls over to look at us or sits up its straight back onto her tummy, sometimes i can lay her back down heaps but she knows that the drill now. we stay til shes back to sleep

[Fig]

I am not sure I can be of too much help. Both my children are shocking sleepers. But I did have a thought about why your little one may be lying there awake. With my DD I do lie with her to go to sleep. If she isn't exhusted she will just lie there and be anxious about when it is I am going to leave, so kind of just keeps herself awake to make sure I wont leave. I have found a good way to counter this is wait awhile to she is relaxed, tell her that in 2 minutes mummy has to go, but will come back and check on her. Then when the two minutes is up, I say to her, ok 2 minutes is up, mummy is going and will come back in 2 minutes to check on you. Then go back and check on her, even if I think she is asleep I whisper I came back. If she waits then I repeat the process. Doesn't always work, but most of the time it does.

[Salad]

How did you go last night Rowellen?
I think i jinxed myself replying to your message I was up with DD for 3 hours in the middle of last night not good

[~Kaz~]

Rowellen you have just described my son, even down to the taking a while to wake up properly. We often have full blown crying for up to 15 mins on waking here - not always though. He has hardly ever slept through his whole life (less than 20 times all up) and he is 17 months old. I have stopped at green traffic lights I've been so tired and I'm not pregnant so I think you deserve a medal hun.

No real advice. We don't do CC or CIO here either. Tried co-sleeping on the frequent wake-up nights - sometimes it works, other times not. Lately I have found not getting him out of his cot, continually laying him back down and sitting beside the cot and stoking his head has worked. It calms him almost straight away and then it's a matter of time until he is asleep or nearly there and I can return to bed. It's not comfortable when the process takes an hour. I really need to get a big cushion near his cot I think. (Tried stroking his head a few times over the past 17 months and it always stirred him up but now seems to work finally).

I never thought I would say this but we are actually off to sleep school very soon because I am out of ideas, nothing is working consistently and the constant tiredness is really taking it's toll. I am not ever going to do CC or CIO but I am interested in their opinion of DS's sleep patterns (of which there isn't much of one, every few nights he changes the pattern, so random) and to see if they have other ideas. I suspect they won't have much that is different to what we're doing/trying. During the admission phone interview the woman started saying that temperament and individual sleep needs had a big impact and if kids are happy and doing what they should be (developmentally etc) during the day then some kids just need less sleep and will continue to wake no matter what is done/tried. I know that's not very hopeful and I certainly don't have my hopes up that I'm gunna find a miracle cure but I'll come back in the next week or two and update if I learn anything interesting or new (I've read and tried the Pinky McKay and Elizabeth Pantley books/approaches too).

[Rowellen]

Well we have had some success. On Tuesday night, I gave him water straight away like you suggested Salad, and he went back to sleep easily. He woke again an hour later, had more water then went back to sleep. All up he woke 3 times but went back to sleep easily each time. Just that made a huge difference for me yesterday. By yesterday afternoon - we had a tooth! He had been tricking me. I guess the teething necklace is working as he normally cries and carries on for weeks before a tooth comes through but none of that - just awake & calm while I was with him. Last night was heaps better. He only woke once about 2.30 and went back to sleep easily after some milk. He was such a happy boy this morning. Yay happy dance

Fig: Thanks for the advice. I will save that for when he is a bit older as I don't think he will understand the concept of "coming back" just yet. He stands up as soon as I'm out of sight and starts sooking ATM.

Olive: I hope you have some success soon too.

Kaz: Please let me know how the sleep school goes. I'd be very interested to hear if it works for you especially as our DS's are so similar. So far I have just been hoping he'll grow out of it but it's getting to the point where we have to do something. I'm not even sure where I'd find a sleep school lol. I agree that that some babies just need less sleep. DS seems to be one of them. I'm a wee bit jealous of those mums who have babies that sleep for 14 hours without a peep then have a nap as well! Pinky mentioned something like that in her book. Good luck!

[Salad]

Thats great news Rowellen, lets hope thats all he needs and its only a short little phase

[Sterla]

That's great Rowellen! I hope he keeps it up for you!

[Shanti]

I agree that that some babies just need less sleep. DS seems to be one of them.

Hey hun, as you know my DD is one of these babies!! doesn't ever need much sleep. She also can wake at 5am and even though I know she is still tired, she is up.... we night weaned her and that helped for a few weeks and she only started waking once a night but then 4 teeth at the same time came in poor thing and her sleep was disturbed again and she needed the night feeds again.

I'm too tired at the moment to post, as DD is sick with tonsilitis so we aren't getting much sleep here either (much less than normal even!) but just wanted to offer a hug

Hope you get some more rest soon as being pg with a toddler would be exhausting. As i'm hoping to be soon

[OceanPrincess]

Hope you get some more rest soon as being pg with a toddler would be exhausting. As i'm hoping to be soon

It is. And then having a newborn and a toddler wot don sleep is even more exhausting, I'm afraid to say!

Delirious much? Mmm... people keep asking me if DS is being a "good" baby for me (bah I hate that question... but that's a whole nother thread...) and I have to confess that it is DD who is being more difficult! She woke, Tuesday night, every 1.5hrs DH did his best at the start of the night but once it got to 1am he was so over it, so sick of her getting out of bed, he said she could sleep on the floor. Mind you he is normally very patient, its just the constant waking, crying, its getting to us both.

Reading this thread makes me wonder if it is teeth with our DD too... 3 of her 4 canines are down, maybe its the 4th one...

[Olive]

OP has she got a night light?