Shopping - does it get easier???

[OceanPrincess]

So DD is 19mths. Since she was a confident walker (so about 14mths) going anywhere that does not allow her to run/play/explore safely (like my fave shopping centre ) has become a bit of a nightmare.

She is a very high energy, inquisitive, exploratory child - wants to be into everything, checking everything out. Will sit in the pram or trolley for a while, as long as it is moving. Once it stops or we go too slow (ie supermarket), it's "out out!!" and if I tell her she has to stay, tantrum.

Walking is no better - she will hold my hand for a little while but then wants to run off and explore. We have a backpack leash (i hate it but at least she's safe and I know where she is!) but she's only happy on that when we are going the way she wants to go. But as soon as we need to go a diferent direction, tantrum!

So please tell me - is it going to get easier? As she gets older and can understand things like "stay where mummy can see you" and "let's sit and have a coffee" (might be hopeful on that one!! ) will it be easier??

[bon]

My kids have all been the same and it does get better, but in my experience not until they are at least 4 and starting to grow out of that toddler phase. My DS (7) is mostly good at the shops but he still mucks around and makes a nuisance of himself when he gets bored. My first DD who is nearly 6 is also good, but still has tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants. Second DD is almost 4 and has been a shocker to take to the shops ever since she could walk, but is starting to get better. Main problem now is that she inevitably needs to go to the toilet when I am halfway through the supermarket. Of course, the best behaved is my baby girl who is about to turn 1 and doesn't walk yet, so she is happy to sit in the trolley.

So, short answer is yes it will get better but it will be a slow process, and may even get worse before it starts to improve. Even at the age when they can understand reason and instructions such as "stay where I can see you", there is no guarantee that they will listen and obey. That's where the bribery and attempts at gentle persuasion often start to kick in LOL.

[Arimeh]

If mine run away like that, they either get put in the trolley and given something to eat to make them sit there - or they get put in the carrier (which they all love anyway).

There's nothing worse than shopping centre stress - so I do my best to avoid it. Works for us here, we rarely have any stressful moments whilst shopping. Even if its the grocery shopping, I usually carry DD2, and we let DD1 and DS run around. They don't get into any mischief, just run up and down the aisles laughing and having fun, and we have no problem with that - as long as they stay in the same aisle. They don't touch anything, and if they do, they put it back when told.

I guess we could be seen as kind of "non-caring" parents who let their kids run wild, but its just a bit of fun for them, and it keeps them entertained. They come when called (and if they don't, they are told they will be put in the trolley) so I dunno.. it just works for us.

Less stress the better.

[Cassius2]

i reckon it gets easier...once dd1 was closer to 2 things got easier as she was able to understand some reasoning and know that the shopping will end). we also have used bribery lol! chupa chups kept her well entertained for awhile there lol!

[suse]

We have a runner (who's nearly three, and who has never mastered the art of walking along side of us without running away to explore, and who won't look back when he does, or stop or come back to us when called. We've tested it - in a safe place - and he will go well out of our line of sight and not stop to look for us). Walking holding hands is only possible if we are going on a 'fun' trip - ie: one where we don't need to stop and stand still for more than 10 seconds. Otherwise he gets really stressed out. So generally he is in a pram, trolley, or carrier. When we do have to stop (eg: in a checkout line), I make sure that I am talking with him and generally keeping him entertained (or fed) so that the lack of movement doesn't become stressful for him.

Perhaps invest in a good toddler carrier so that she can hang out with you - it makes shopping so much easier as they feel much more on 'your level'.

[Kazbah]

hehe I "hide" behind pillars etc and Pip learnt very quickly to stay close.
You can get a mini etcha-sketch thingy that attaches to the trolley too, gives them something to do.
Try little jobs - hold this for mummy etc.

[Mum2Romone]

I have a almost two year old runner

I try to avoid the shops and lately get DH to play with DS at the park/home if I do the shopping

U cant carry a frustrated toddler with shopping in your hands and not forget what your doing or where your car is parked, So i give up

[OceanPrincess]

Mum2romone - that's what I've been doing, leaving DD with DH and taking DS.

Suse - what's a good toddler carrier?I've got an ergo that I need to master the "back" position... Would that be good?

Sigh, from all the responses it sounds like it could go either way...

[1pj]

I just wanted to say phew!!!Im not alone!!My DD is 19 months too and boy oh boy exactly the same!!Its driving me insane i just dont know what to do shopping is a nightmare amazing how these little beings can make us so stressed!I have been going as early as i can and trying food in the trolley or stroller but lately shopping is just simply out its just not worth the tannys and me stressing so much sorry i dont have any suggestions just wanted to say i too hope this is a "stage" and hugs!!!

[Nai]

DD1 didn't enter a supermarket from the age of 11m until about 2y due to tantrums. I used to do the shopping at night when she had gone to bed (bliss).

Now she is an absolute joy to take shopping - we go tot he Coles that has the kiddy trolleys and she pushes one around with me and fills her trolley up with the stuff she can reach and she unpacks it on the conveyer. She is a great help and she even entertains DD2 while she is stuck in the trolley. So in my experience it does get better but you may have to wait a little while...

[~me~]

If mine run away like that, they either get put in the trolley and given something to eat to make them sit there - or they get put in the carrier (which they all love anyway).

Yep...I carry what I call 'Happy snacks'. For DS2 it's sultana's, I also keep a lollipop and Dinosaur Tail (like a snake) in my bag for those extra difficult times

[shellbell3]

2 words for the supermarket; coles online. Was my life saver.
As for other shopping I put Em in the trolley and buy a cheesymite roll or cheese and bacon roll and it keeps her happy for the time I need.

[diva det]

yup it will get easier - the twins were both runners!!!!! That was hard!!

agree totally with shell
a cheese roll does boof most of the way around- feeding him sitting in the trolley works a treat!!!
and if that runs out then i feed him something i am going to buy as well!!!
definately food works a treat when shopping
boof is definately my best shopper! LOL
also the ergo- i will show you next time at playgroup the best way to get her on your back!!
its easy when you know how- i put boof in it to look around at houses lately

[kungfubecca]

it will get better as she understands more.

with our ds we told him to hold onto the trolley or a hand and if he doesn't its straight back in the trolley tantrum or no tantrum
DS also gets a snack, unfortunatley these days it's has to be something special - but the younger they are the easier it is to get away with fruit or a sandwich.
I've heard tips for older children being giving them a shopping list of things they have to find. by about age 2 you could try a picture shopping list, stick pics of food out of the catalogue on a piece of paper and she has to find all the things on her list.

Recently I have had the most luck with ds in the produce section of the supermarket where I ask him to pick out all the vegies. he's getting goo, i think he knows more vegies than all those american kids on jamies kitchen already.

[Phteven]

It does get better. I really enjoy shopping with Mr4 these days.
We stop for coffees/babychinos and have a natter and if we're going to be in a shopping center for a while I break it up with a visit to the soft play thingo. He remembers stuff on my list for me and helps unload stuff from the trolley.

Shopping with 2 is a different matter. If I can I go while Mr5 is at school or leave one of them at home.

[OceanPrincess]

Just thought I'd revisit this, one year and a bit on... in case anyone is curious in the future...

DD is now 2yrs 9mths (3 in Feb) and DS is 16mths. I can now take both kidlets shopping with minimal stress and frustration and most importantly, minimal tantrums.

We get a trolley with two seats and at the start of the trip DD is generally walking and DS in the seat. DD knows the rule for shopping - stay where mummy can see her or she goes in the trolley (or pram if we aren't at the supermarket). She'll walk happily with me to the dairy aisle where we grab a couple of Calciyums, she goes in the trolley seat next to DS and they have their milk. Once she's done, she can hop out if she likes but generally my aim is to get everything while they are having their milk. And then get out of there

If we aren't going to the supermarket, even at the general shops she is pretty good... if she behaves I give her some kind of treat so that helps, a lot.

Now to work the same magic on DS...