Velcro/Clingy Babies Anonymous

[Manhattan]

Ok, so DD is a velcro baby to boot! She won't go to anyone besides DH and my mum. And even then, if she can she me, she wants me. Whilst I love that she loves me so much, I would just like to be able to hand her over every now and then for a break. And I feel bad when people want to give her a cuddle, and she just screams in their face

So, how do you handle your velcro baby? Do you manage to leave the house at all without velcro baby?

Now I must add that she wasnt always like this. Prob been the last 2 months where its become an issue. So is this just a stage? Or did I do something to make her like this? Do you think a baby is born clingy, or as parents we turn them that way?

Any advice, tips, insights greatly appreciated

[Party-of-five]

your not alone there DD2 was really good until about 4 weeks ago. She is the same will go to mum or DH but as long as she cant hear or see me
I have managed to leave her with mum a few short times because mum says she only grizzles when I get home.
I dont think parents make clingy babies because DD2 is my 3rd and the others werent clingy. I think its just they way some are. I just try to see it as loving the extra cuddles because she will be off and independent crawling and walking soon( if I can put her on the floor to learn ) and then we will miss this I think.

[sloane]

hi, i'm sloane & i have a velcro baby!

i have to say that it has eased a bit - since he started walking. for some reason, crawling didn't do it but walking has. for example, i took him to a playcentre not long ago & he wanted down when we got there & walked off to play himself. previously i would have had to hold him for a while before he'd be ready to do that.

if he can see me & he's tired or not happy, he'll cry. if i'm not there, he's a little angel

my DS has pretty much always been like that but i'm guessing maybe with your DD it's a stage & comes from them becoming more aware of the world around them?? not sure. i tend to think they're born that way & it's not something we've done as parents - it's all part of their personality. in recent months i've tried not to be frustrated (because as wonderful as it is to be needed, sometimes i need a break) but then had a bit of an epiphany - my DS is sooo loving. he loves to give hugs & kisses etc. so i realised that the big upside of my velcro baby is his wonderfully loving nature. so while the clinging can get a bit much sometimes, i wouldn't change it for the world because it's part of what makes him so loving.

i hope that all makes sense - the big downside of my velcro boy is that he wakes 7 times a night & only wants mum....not much coherent thought comes from me these day

[Arimeh]

Its definitely a stage. DD2 went through it from about 6 months to 9 months. She is much better now, doesn't cry when she sees people, and although she is still clingy, she will happily go to other people.

So no - I don't think you have done anything to "make" her this way - I think its just a baby being a normal baby!

[Manhattan]

Thank you all, your reassurance is very comforting

POF - I never thought of it that way, that soon she will be off and moving, and not giving me a second thought. I'll have to start making an extra effort to appreciate her special cuddles.

Sloane - your post was very coherent And i agree, it is nice to have a loving baby.

Arimeh - Glad to hear E went through the same thing, and has come out the other side. Ohhh, I just had a thought, maybe L got it from E???? Lol, at their first meeting! Hopefully DD will come out the other side soonish too.

Thanks again girls x

[Arimeh]

Arimeh - Glad to hear E went through the same thing, and has come out the other side. Ohhh, I just had a thought, maybe L got it from E???? Lol, at their first meeting! Hopefully DD will come out the other side soonish too.

Haha!! Maybe - you never know

[Arimeh]

Arimeh - Glad to hear E went through the same thing, and has come out the other side. Ohhh, I just had a thought, maybe L got it from E???? Lol, at their first meeting! Hopefully DD will come out the other side soonish too.

Haha!! Maybe - you never know

[onthefly]

It's a stage, which can be repeated. DS was super clingy. Not anymore. (he still demands cuddles with regularity, however)
Best thing is to go with it - you're building her sense of security and from there she will develop independence.

[Manhattan]

Thanks Marcellus, good to know some good will come of it

[Snowy Love]

I thought DS1 was clingy as a bub, until DS2 was about 7 mths & taught me what clingy was! I just cuddle & put him in the sling. When we're home alone he'll crawl off and do his own thing occasionally, but if anyone's around he's a limpet (in my step-Dad's words). Anyone comments I just say "He loves me!" and I don't get further comments.

[~Hestia~]

My name is CheezelMonster and I too have a velcro baby!
Moo has been clingy from the start - even at just a few weeks he just 'knew' if I left the house. As soon as my car left the driveway he would scream and scream until he was in my arms again. My poor DH!
As he has gotten older he hasn't gotten any better exactly, it's just the behaviours have changed. For example before he was mobile he would cry hysterically when I left the room. Now he is walking he still cries but also comes after me, so stops crying once he is back by my side.
He follows me into the loo and into the shower - and being fully dressed doesn't stop him lol! The number of times he has thrown himself at the shower door screaming like he is being dragged away from me...now I just automatically strip him off and take him in too. DH can't contain him!
So I don't often leave him, it has to be for a good reason. The times I do go out without him are planned so that I put him down for a nap and go when he is asleep. It doesn't seem to bother him waking up to only Dad at home but will cry and scream as soon as my car pulls up to the house!
I have to feed him and dress him or he just reaches out to me crying and crying. People tell me he 'needs' to learn but it's just not worth the constant noise and tears in my opinion.
But I love him anyway!

[Manhattan]

Snowy - I'm the same and say 'she just wants mummy' but you know I cant help but feel bad as though its my fault when obviously its not. Can't wait til she's on the move so she can do her own thing.

Cheezel - Thanks for sharing your experience. I had to laugh at your DS following you into the shower fully clothed

[ss_storm]

*sticks hand in the air* count me/us in!
I feel so sorry for my parents when we visit..DD cries as soon as I put her on the floor and mum & dad can't even give her a cuddle. Poor dad can't even look at/talk to her because she just bursts into tears!
I have to be within eyesight, preferably not more than a metre or so away. Having problems with sleep time atm because she starts crying as soon as i walk out of the room, even if I creep out at the rate of a mm/minute So resorting to rocking her to sleep, and hopefully she'll go back to going to sleep on her own like she used to do!

A lot of the time she doesn't even want to go to DF, and if he is holding her and she spots me she'll try and leap into my arms. It is tiring and sometimes I just wish she would go to someone else (watch out any strangers that even attempt to touch her! If I'm holding her she will just hide in my shoulder). But the snuggles are also nice, and knowing that I'm the only one that can console her (although that can be trying at times as well!).
I'm hoping that once she eventually starts walking she'll be a bit more independent and less clingy!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

My Name is ~ Zarava Flutterby ~ and i have a velcro baby.
DD is nearly 9mths old and she would SCREAM if i left the room without her and i mean scream til she makes herself sick, high pitched come get me screams.
In the last month she has finally started going to DP but if she sees me leave the room.. OMG all hell breaks loose.

I have NEVER had a night without her, actually i have never had time without her at all, when she was younger i went to mothers group dinners with her, if i go to Dr's appts she is with me, you name it.

It does get easier, she is finally happy to be handed to other people as long as i am within arms reach so i am hoping that once she starts crawling or walking it will make life a lot easier.. TBH i think she just wnats to be up and moving and part of the world and she doesn't get that sitting down on the floor... lets hope mobility helps!

[Manhattan]

Wow, so it would seem that this issue is more widespread than I realised. How is it possible then that I dont see any other velcro babies?? Oh thats right, DD won't let me look

SS - your DD sounds exactly like mine. I must admit I love when she plays coy and snuggles into my shoulder around strangers.

ZF - I can't wait for the day she will go to someone else, her grandparents are starting to get a complex

[Swoop]

Yep, another velcro baby here!

DD is gradually getting a little better recently, but it's very similar to what most of you have described already - if I'm in sight she will strain to get me rather than anyone else, and if she sees me leave the room all hell breaks loose! She's almost walking now and her favourite pasttime is to stand next to me/behind me hugging my legs. I have to say 'DD, mummy's going to walk now' or 'DD, mummy's going to stand up now' and she sits straight down, but follows straight after me whinging and moaning. One of her first words was çuddle' too - said with outstretched arms in my direction (I think it's cute, but I don't know that her grandparents agree when 'she refuses to cuddle them....). She also throws herself against the shower door howling, but i don't take her in the shower with me, because the few times I have she just wants to be held the whole time so it's impossible to get clean.

I don't mind her being around me all the time, I don't even mind that I can't go to the toilet in peace, but I do feel bad for DH sometimes. She's getting better with him, and for some reason is absolutely fine with my mum and dad, even though they are on the other side of the world so she's not spent major amounts of time with them. I find myself apologising to other people when she snubs them, but actually i think I probably shouldn't because she can understand an awful lot of what I say now. I do try to reassure her that I'm still there etc and I'm always saying to her 'DD and mummy stick together like glue'.

[*TripleJ*]

ok well DS went through that stage from 8 months till even now and hes 16 months its only just improving now

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

ZF - I can't wait for the day she will go to someone else, her grandparents are starting to get a complex

Don't worry MIL was the same, so was my mum.. we went to Adelaide and Z wouldn't have a bar of her.
she seems a bit better now but is still very wary, some people she wont even look at let alone allow to hold her.
One day i am hoping i can put her in CC or a creche and know she wont be sick or screaming the joint down.