Because I'm mean. And I'm cross. As DS told me this morning.
I feel so hurt, I do get cross and I do punish them - when they aren't behaving, when they do something I've just told them not to do, when they do something they know they aren't allowed to do.
I try to be casual about things, but obviously I'm not succeeding. And yes, I do feel myself starting to be very overwhelmed with things, the kids take it out of me so much and after yesterday being such a crappola day, I actually had to leave the house for 10 minutes for a bawl last night.
I know I don't make it easy on myself because of the house being on the market so there is the stress there that the house won't sell, stress that I don't know where I will birth the next one, and stress most of all because I don't think I can handle 4 children and I wonder what the hell am I doing being pregnant again.
I just wanted to destress a little here and have a whinge.
Oh hun your doing a great job and you will be fine! sometimes I think mummies need special detressing holidays so we can recharge and come back refreshed xxx
Big hugs..For what it's worth ( if anything) I think u are amazing woman full of so much knowledge, when ever i see you have posted i will read it,You are doing an amazing job ..Take some time out if you need , take a breather ,those kids love you, do not forget that
I didnt realise how much I yelled and screamed until W told me he hated me for being a yelling mummy. It made me sit back and revaluate my parenting...bit of an eye opener and it helped but at the time he could have ripped my heart out and stomped on it as it felt the same.
Ive got no magic cure, instructions on how you should parent your babies....we all parent and teach our children in different ways.
What works for some may not necessary work for others. Perhaps you could trial and error a few different techniques? I find that when the kids are really naughty that I turn everything off, make the room dark and turn the music up...we dance (if thats what you call it) our frustration out, get exercise and have a dame good laugh at each other. I know bit hard for you to do atm being pg but just wanted to give you an example of what works for us.
You are an awesome Mumma of 3 and you will be an awesome Mumma of 4
I think you rock !
Coming to see you later in the week - Thursday i think at this stage !
My boys have told me before that they want to go and live with their friends because they like it better there. They wanted another Mum ! I cried rivers over that - i was gutted !
When i talked to the boys about how it made me feel they were sooo sorry - they just dont realise how much it hurts when they say things like that.
I have nearly left home several times cause i feel like i cant cope. Then DH pulls me into line again....
I know A loves you !
I am not having the best day so far either - so i will jump on the stress train too !
Thinking of you and really looking forward to seeing you !!
xoxo
What works for some may not necessary work for others. Perhaps you could trial and error a few different techniques? I find that when the kids are really naughty that I turn everything off, make the room dark and turn the music up...we dance (if thats what you call it) our frustration out, get exercise and have a dame good laugh at each other. I know bit hard for you to do atm being pg but just wanted to give you an example of what works for us.
Maz i hope i remmeber this when i have naughty kids That sounds like a great idea
They sure know how to push your buttons, especially if they can feel your anxiety!
I find that when all I'm doing is yelling and getting frustrated it's time to get goofy. Be their best friend and play hide and seek or roll around on the floor having tickle fights. In a way it's the distract and refocus technique but it's lots more fun and it's good for me because I remember why I had kids in the first place ie to enjoy them!
I've gone through feelings of wondering WTH I am doing being pregnant, in my last 2 pregnancies. I get to a stage where I feel like I am just not coping with what I have but you know, I have realised that it is actually pregnancy that is making everything harder to deal with and once I am not pregnant anymore I feel like a new person. My tolerance, energy, everything improves so much. I feel the same way this pregnancy. I just want to curl up in a corner and be left alone and some days I feel like a pressure cooker because they just don't let up.
It's not easy being a mummy and sometimes you do just have to cry. You have a lot on your plate at the moment and I am not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed. I think you sound like you are handling it exceptionally well, even if you don't feel like you are.
Could you maybe have a chat with DS and ask him what he would like you to do differently? Tell him how his behaviour affect you to and ask him what he can do to make things better as well? If my kids tell me they don't like something that I am doing, I turn it around and let them tell me what they want me to do instead and talk about what I want as well as what they want. I think it is very easy for kids (or anyone) to criticise, it requires a whole lot of other skills to come up with solutions. It won't work a miracle for you, but maybe he can start to understand some of what you are feeling too.
Mel, you are doing a great job. You will be fine with 4. It is so much easier to look after kids when you aren't pregnant
I've come to the conclusion that kids are not particularly good for a mummy's self-esteem. As mentioned in another post, they know how to push every button in the book.
I think you're perfectly entitled to having a few minutes out to have a howl. So please don't beat yourself up for doing that. We all have our mummy meltdown days, so it sounds like you're a perfectly normal mummy. But keep in mind you're also a wonderful, loving mummy who wants the best for her kiddies and adores them.
I haven't been called a pirate, but one day last week when the planets didn't align for DS1, DS2 and me, and we had a cruddy day, that night DS1 came and sat opposite me at the kitchen table after dinner and pulled a "mad/cranky face". Then he said "mummy" and pulled "the face" again.
Hmmmmm. Made me laugh so hard I nearly had an accident . And it dawned on me that despite the crankiness (me), the stubborness (DS1) and the neediness (DS2) ... that having kids makes our lives far more interesting.
Reply With QuoteOh hun your doing a great job and you will be fine! sometimes I think mummies need special detressing holidays so we can recharge and come back refreshed
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So apparently I'm a pirate
you'll get their chicky
I cried rivers over that - i was gutted !
That sounds like a great idea
. And it dawned on me that despite the crankiness (me), the stubborness (DS1) and the neediness (DS2) ... that having kids makes our lives far more interesting.
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