This afternoon I had a little cleaning spree as both girls have been sick all week and after a week of them inside the house is feral. I was vaccuuming in the kitchen when around the corner from me the girls were using the electrical cable to jump on, bite and pull on. At one stage they pulled it out of the wall almost breaking the plug for a second time.
So as I am putting the vaccuum away I am saying to DD1 that she really needs to listen to me (I've had it after a solid week of no sleep, sickness and she just flat out refusing to listen to a word I say), and that if she doesnt "I will give her a belting and send her to her room.' And it was in a rather loud voice. Next thing I know MIL is knocking on our door.
Now I've never belted her, even though I have wanted to at times, but by saying it I normally get her attention (oh dear mum has lost it, what Im doing isnt funny anymore; sort of way).
Anyhow, I let MIL in and instantly start explaining myself, told her what they were doing and all that. And I realise that I just sound stupid. Why on earth would I threaten my girls?
I feel like its a hole I can't get out of. I have tried everything with DD1 and ever since very early on, she has pushed me until I break then she stops. When she was little, round 1yr mark, she would push until I cried, not the fake cry the real cry, then she would give up and calm down. Even that sounds silly now.
So Im asking for help, parenting help, I don't like myself when I get to the breaking point, I don't like getting pushed there, and I dont like the aftershocks of reaching breaking point. Afterwards, Im in a feral mood, the day is tainted by it, and its not fair especially when its over something so small.
How do you avoid breaking point? How do you discipline?
Sorry, I can't help. I think you will always get to breaking point sooner or later. You just need something to help you release the tension.
When I reach breaking point, I go into another room (as long as the boys are safe of course!), grab a pillow and beat the crap out of a bed. It releases tension and makes me feel a heap better too. The kids have followed me a couple of times. I turned around unexpectly once and both had their mouth open. I thought they were going to cry because mummy was a bit scary but instead they laughed themselves silly. Made me laugh as well and really brightened up my day.
My little one is only 6 months at the moment, so I have no first hand experience. But there is an awesome book called the Science of parenting which has loads of tips and suggestions on how to handle toddlers and young children in a gentle way.
Hun I think regardless of how you parent, everyone has a point where they crack, whether it be yell, scream, rant, rave. etc. I yell and when I get yelly I know I need some time out desperately or it just gets worse and worse. The things I find that help as well are to apologise when I lose it to the kids. I think they need to see that we do get angry, are human, but it isn't really acceptable and that it's good to say sorry when you do. J doesn't get it so much, but Iz will say "Sok mummy" and give me a hug and then we work out a way to work together to pick up the toys or whatever other mundane thing set me off.
I have to go and put kids to bed but wanted to give you a big hug and say you are not alone.
parenting help please?
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