Breaking Point

[chepie]

As the title suggests I am at breaking point with ds who is 3............ He is so angry and violent...... he screams in my face, tells me to go away (which I am so close to walking out that door), your not my friend, throws his toys (massive chunks taken out of the wall because of this), hits, kicks, scratchs, sometimes bites - he wants to hurt you.....

I have tried time out - doesnt work
I have taken nearly all of his toys of him

He doesn't care!!! His most prized possesions - nothing.....

He says his is angry - I ask him why- can't/won't tell me

His diet is strict - make most of our foods - no nasty colours or preservatives

Has no respect for me,dh or dd

Yells at kids

so so so angry and I don't know how to help him.... I have never ever felt so broken

Oh he gave up his night time dummy - so he could be tired and his day sleep -but this isn't new behaviour.... Though he can be the most gentle boy ....and now he laughs in my face like I am nobody....Poor dd who is one cries all the time because of all the anger....... I just don't want to be around him anymore - I know that sounds horrible but I defeated and have never felt so old

[Beach Mama]

Hun I have no real advice because we are dealing with our own challenging behaviour but do you think something like Magic 123 would work? Lots of people recommended it to me when I posted about DD a few weeks ago. I am looking into Positive Parenting courses as well because I have days of feeling worn out and I hate yelling and the parent I am on lots of days recently. I have to fly but coudlnt read without giving you a HUGE and telling you that you are not alone and I think the 3's are worse than the 2's.

[littlelara]

Not that it helps any, but apparently they have more testosterone now than at any other time; sounds like he needs to find some way to channel it.
Wish I could help, I can only imagine what you must be feeling. Big hugs

[danita]

i too am having troubles with my 3.5 yr old he recently moved in with me (foster child) and i know he has prob been through alot in his short life... but he can be very caring and polite but lately he is completely ignoring what i say/ask. gets angry swears, hurts his sister and my children...ii dont know what else to do either, subscribing as i would be interested to hear what other say and suggest,

[Mak]

I tried a technique by Steve Biddulph. It involves removing the child from the issue - so standing them somewhere to calm down in the immediate vicinity and then they have to call you when they want to discuss what happened. So allowing the situation to diffuse a bit but them having a little control too. It takes a bit of explaining and role playing at first - so they call you when they calm down and then you ask them to tell you what they did that was not acceptable, why they did it and why it is not ok. The idea is that they then get the process of thinking about their actions and working through it, it also allows you to discuss the acceptable way of dealing with whatever situation too. It took some work but I think really worked for DD who was quite verbal and I hoping it allows for discussion when she gets older too. It does sound a bit OTT but really worked here and now we rarely use it.

[chepie]

Gorgeous ladies thanks so much for the wonderful words of wisdom!!! I am on a waiting list for the Parenting Program for next year some time...... Well today we had a break through and had an awesome day - no yelling/no time out/no hitting ... lots of cuddles and talking....
You know he has gone through 3 massive milestones this week - gave up his addiction to dummies, gave up his daytime sleep (I think because of the dummies) and is now pooing in the potty!!! So huge changes really..... my little man xx