A big change ahead and am trying to prepare myself for it now.

[AliBaby]

Some big changes have happened in my family of late and I havent shared them with anyone. In fact my parents dont even know. I dont know why I havent told them.

DF had to get a second job of working full time at night as our business wasnt cutting it. Well about 4 weeks ago he lost that job and we are back down to my part time income and the little he makes (if any) from the business.

Things have been tough and with the situation that is happening with chilcare we have decided that I am going back to work full time next year. :0

It is my decision but it is one for our family as we are a team and we all need to help each other.

We are going to cut DD's days at childcare down to 1 day a week (as I still want her to go as they learn a lot there and it is great socially for her), MIL will have her 1 day a week and DF will look after her 3 days a week. He can do work at the workshop on the 2days that we have care for DD and also weekends.

I am kind of excited about working full time but also **** scared that DF wont handle things at home and I will end up working myself to the ground trying to look after work, the house and DD. Only time will tell.

DF has been great at doing stuff around the house of late so he is showing good signs but I do not think he knows the extent of what I have to do around the house during the day.

Feels good to write that all down.

No need to reply, I am just happy to let it off my chest. Will tell mum and dad tomorrow.

[Nai]

Oh hun - I hope it all works out for you! It will be hard to make the adjustment but I'm sure your DF will do just fine. You may have to let him do things his way and you will have to learn to let go and not stress about it as it will drive you crazy and you will just work yourself into the ground.

[Indadhanu]

HUGE hugs! It's a scary, stessful, exciting, nervewracking time when you change roles! I started work part time this time last year, and we officially swapped roles, with Shel quitting and me being the main income earner in January this year.

My advice is... let him do it the way he wants to do it, and understand that it'll take some time for him to get in to a routine, at least two months or more before he realises how to manage his days/weeks and work out what he needs to do and when. And yep, you'll come home and things won't be done but guess what, he'll be looking after your DD. I think it's really important to remember not to have double standards, not to expect it all to be done just because you know that you could do it. Not saying you would do it, but I have caught myself on a few occassions thinking "geez, couldn't you have done x,y,z" and then remembering that she is looking after Jazz who is a full time job, and the housework is secondary really. As long as things are generally tidy with clean plates to eat off and clean clothes to wear and your daughter is fed and clean and happy then at the end of the day its ok. DON'T run yourself into the ground running around when you get home, it'll only make yourself exhausted and make him feel useless and defensive of the things he has done, and everyone will be cranky!

It's an amazing experience, and it will make you and your partner realise and appreciate what you have done and do for each other. It will be so good for your DD too, Jazz and Shel have an amazing relationship now, and it hasn't had any negative impact on our relationship. It is so good to come home and have Jazz run to the window and yell "HI MUMMY!" as I drive in to the driveway.

[Heaven]

That is a big change Ali. I'm sure you will all adjust well though Sorry to hear about DH losing his job.

[AliBaby]

Thanks Nai, I think you are right. A lot of things I will just have to be patient with and let him work out his own system of working stuff out.

[AliBaby]

Thanks Heaven, It was a big shock about the loss of the second job but I am trying to kep him more positive than me as he is worried he is letting us down as he feels it is him that should bring in the income (you know how men sometimes get) but I told him that it is okay and when we go to have another baby (hopefully TTC around September next year then I will go on mat leave and go back to part time.

[kelebek]

what a huge change for you all. Is it something you can review after a few months or something that will have to at least be for a year? I hope it all works out for you

[AliBaby]

Leash I missed your post. So sorry hun Thank you for your beautiful reply and your advice. I will definitely keep all that you have said in mind. Those first 2months I am sure will be tricky Im sure. thanks again hun

[AliBaby]

what a huge change for you all. Is it something you can review after a few months or something that will have to at least be for a year? I hope it all works out for you

The great thing about my job is its flexibility. If DF can get a job that is well paying or if business picks up then I can go back to part time. Thanks for your advice and support hun