Advice on dealing with a horrible co-worker?

[Teeki]

I have a feeling this may be long... So sorry in advance. I'll try to edit and keep it short!

Basically I work with this guy, have been in the same office as him for over a year. Nothing has changed with him, and I was in fact warned before accepting the job that many people find him difficult to work with. Well, right now difficult is an understatement!! I find myself absolutely dreading anything to do with him.

I have vented about him here before, ages ago, so I won't bore you with the details. It would take forever. I actually wrote him a letter that took up 3 pages, detailing every irritating thing, and then 'posted' it (through the shredder and confidential bin lol) in the hopes that writing it out would make me feel better. No luck.

There are a few legitimate complaints, bigger things that I've brought up with our line manager. The fact that he is at the same level as me but feels able to delegate work to me (when we don't even use the same systems and he has an assistant for that); the fact that he'll book an appointment in my office at the last minute (he doesn't have an office, works in the back room with his assistant) without checking if I have one or need the office; and regularly spends anywhere up to an hour dictating to me something that I *must* do (like an email that I *must* copy him in on) if something I'm doing involves a customer that he might have contact with years ago (somehow he thinks he still needs to be involved). I'm ok with taking that to our manager, and have asked him not to do anything about it just yet, I want to try and handle this myself but want him to know what's going on.

But now the problem is everything about this guy really, really s***s me. Everything! The way he scrawls a giant indecipherable note on an A4 page that says "K... See me. S..." then tapes it to my monitor. Seriously?? A post-it wouldn't do? The way he comes in for no reason (I suspect to check what I'm doing) and moves my customer chairs around - generally far away from the desk and by the wall. The fact that he says "You still here?" in a sarcastic way at 5pm every night because I like to leave on time (even though most nights I bring home work with me - it's not like I'm not doing it just cos I'm not there til 7).

There are loads of even smaller things - and sorry, I wasn't going to list my vents, but couldn't help it The issue is I feel myself becoming unresponsive. I've caught myself almost going to give a smart-a*** reply, and I'm sighing lots, becoming impatient or ignoring him. I know I'm becoming rude towards him, and I know that's not going to help anything and if anything will make me look bad and not help my cause. But what can I do? I can't be completely nice and ignore it, because he's being disrespectful too. I've brought up a few of my grievances before and it's like talking to a brick wall, nothing changes.

If anyone has any tips for dealing with a co-worker like this, I'd love to hear it, I'm at the end of my rope!

[Kazbah]

oh hun I feel your pain, I have one of them too. All I can suggest is that you cover your butt. BCC anyone on emails you send him, diarise everything. Out of curiousity, why do you have an office and he doesn't? Sounds like that may be a problem for him. Short of telling him where to go there's not much you can do if he's actually performing. The only other thing I can think of is if you feel he is bullying / harrassing you, then take it further.

good luck.

[Teeki]

Thanks Kazbah. I think you've hit the nail on the head with the office thing. He was actually in there before I started, but there are only three offices - one for branch manager (she obviously needs one), one for home loan specialist (definitely needs on as he sees about 5 customers a day), and then the third is mine, for business lending.

The reason he's no longer in there is because he has an assistant, and there's no room for him in there too. It's easier if they can work side by side, rather than him in the office and me and the assistant out the back - he'd be on the phone to him all day or coming out to do stuff. To be honest I wouldn't mind not having the office, and I'm always happy to give it up to others who need it when I don't have something booked, but lately he'll just put something in my outlook calendar five minutes before he needs it, when I've actually already got customers in there or they're about to come in. Then he lectures me about needing to sort this stuff out together If he'd paid attention to my calendar when he posted in there he'd see my appointment!! EDIT: Just to clarify that, I always check his calendar before making appointments in case he might need the office, it's not like I'm just hogging the office. The original deal was if he needs it he'll hop on my calendar whilst making the appointment with the customer and put it somewhere that's got a blank spot

I'm being pretty careful now about documenting things, so if it does get worse I've got a proper record to go to my manager with.

Thanks again

[Teeki]

Ugh, today's only half over and he's already ruined the day by taking up three hours of it. Three hours!!! On stuff that it turned out to be incredibly pointless and not involving me at all. Grrr.... Not to mention he's booked in a joint meeting for next week even though I've told him I can't do what the customer wants. Apparently doesn't matter, because he doesn't want to do it and wants to palm it off to me. Thank God I can come home for lunch to get away from it all!

[*Sparklez*]

hun, i would just take it too ur line manager.. ur obviously not happy and this guy sounds like a total tool.. his acting like a spiteful teenager instead of a mature supportive work colleague.. sooner or later it will effect ur work and ur working environment and if that starts to happen u will kick urself for not dealing with this earlier ykwim??
i just think that u shouldnt have to put up with this person whom obviously has a huge chip on his soldier n i dont think ur the only one he has done it too as u said ppl warned u before u started.. GL babe but i would just do something to resolve his and get it out there that uve had enough n ur starting to resent ur environment due to his attitude...

[Teeki]

Thanks Z&A. I've taken the bigger complaints to our line manager, and have taken note of this morning. I feel better that our manager knows about his behaviour, I just don't want to resort to childish behaviour myself in retaliation. I've been thinking a bit about it though, and am just trying to keep calm, kind of smile and nod then continue my own thing. Lots of mental headbutts this morning lol

[*Sparklez*]

np hun, just hope u can get this sorted as its not good for u to have to put up with this moron..
mental headbutts lol at least ur not head butting him thats a good sign