How Do They Teach/Instill Values At Your Child's School?

[fionas]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately for a number of reasons. Partly because of my experiences with 17-year-old DSD who seems to have a tenuous grasp on right and wrong which also made me reminisce about my own childhood and the values that I have.

I would say that my parents, without necessarily articulating them have very decent values which were reinforced by my school and the community I grew up in.

What I particularly remember about my primary school is the teachings in assembly with the headmaster banging on almost relentlessly about things like two wrongs not making a right, treat other people as you would like to be treated yourself etc. etc. So essentially Christian values I suppose you would say.

This is waffling a bit but, not having grown up in Australia, I'm not sure how schools instill values these days. Presumably state schools don't read from the Bible because that would be deemed too religious?

I'm not particularly keen on sending either DD to a religious school as I'm agnostic. Not sure there is a God BUT I would very much like their schooling to reinforce what I plan to instill in them at home.

So getting back to the title of the thread, how does your child's school teach/instill values?

[Trillian]

Public schools will not instill religious values (and rightly so too I might add) - there are class rules of course though (only speaking from the perspective of the school I went to myself and my own kids' school). But all rules/morals are essentially derived from bible teachings/common sense anyway. In the classrooms they have signs up that say what is and isn't acceptable and when they start school they are drummed into them and referred back to if they break any of them.

[Tinks]

My kids go to a public school and are taught values. Every week they have a value of the week. During the week they are taught about the value, if they display the value during that week their name goes into a hat and a number of names are called out at assemlby.

Religious values are taught to them in RE and by the church they attend.

[fionas]

That's interesting Tinks - what sort of values - I'm thinking honesty, that sort of thing?

[Indadhanu]

I've never encountered a school that doesn't follow a code of conduct or try to instill 'values' into the students... honesty, respect, embracing differences, modesty (not physical modesty, but things like gracious winning etc), treat others how you want to be treated (ie. The Golden Rule) etc. I don't think they're specifically 'Christian', although they are values Christian's ... er, value ... and embrace. But then most religions are based on those kinds of values. Even most non-religious people try to live life like that... Anyway, let's not go into religions. Wrong section hey

Schools definitely do not read from the Bible, nor from other religious texts, unless it's in an educational/historical perspective on what each religion believes (or parents have consented to children participating in 'Religious Instruction', which is usually Christian Religious Instruction, but again I digress ). I would try to search out a school and have a read of their Code of Conduct or their Mission Statement or other documents that might have the values, and ask them HOW they do this. The best schools aim to explain the values to students using appropriate relevant 'stories' (I guess) and also lead by example, and not just instruct students to uphold values. In a religious school, stories could be bible stories or scriptures, for example, or just general feel-good stories. Well, from a child care perspective (0-6 years), this is what we try to do (stories, not religious stories!). Not so explicitly, but just weave it in there with things that happen (ie. Oh, Johny feels sad. He might be feeling sad because he asked you to stop taking his toy and you kept doing it. That's not listening and respecting him is it? Maybe you could ask for a turn instead of taking it? Oh wow, that's a nice way to ask for a turn. Johny might share with you once he is finished playing.)

Hope this helps.

[smiles4u]

Fiona i have the same concerns on finding the values i hold dearly and hope to find the 'right' primary school for DD !!

(a little horrifing story here ; this past Monday i walked past the primary school that is on the next block to our home to go get my DD from Kinder in the next street, the primary school kids were out and to my disgust i had not one but four approx 10years old boys screaming out to me " Hey you b**** i can see your t*** through your top, are you some f****** s*** or are you a f****** h***** " ... and to think it was said with some kind of hatred in their voices, like there wasn't any humour in it for them. I was going to go straight to the principle's office after i picked up DD from Kinder but to my disappointment when i walked back there was not a kid in sight. Couldn't see the point if i didn't have the boys in question)

i will be subscribing to this thread !!!

[mrsmac]

In NSW public schools we have a list of values which we explicitly teach as well as the implicit teaching of values through rules, discussions etc. I do think that it the parent's job to be the main teacher of values.
There are some schools trialling Ethics education for children who do not attend scripture/religious education in public schools.

[Lulu]

At DS's first school I could say that taught values by example and took every opportunity available to teach a range. Respect, tolerance, leadership etc.

At this school it seems they do the same as others have mentioned. Pick one then investigate it from all angles. This week I was thrilled to see the topic was "thinking outside the square".

[trishalishous]

In NSW public schools we have a list of values which we explicitly teach as well as the implicit teaching of values through rules, discussions etc. I do think that it the parent's job to be the main teacher of values.
There are some schools trialling Ethics education for children who do not attend scripture/religious education in public schools.

same in WA and Vic,when I was teaching.
we might send DD to private school, but we don't want her receiving RE (and it underpins the local curriculum, so you can't opt out) so I'm considering homeschooling.
her values and ethics will be instilled at home.

[~me~]

My DS1 goes to a catholic school. They have the 'gospel values'. Its pretty much the same as has been mentioned.
When he was a preppy last year, he was playing outside in our court, one of the older boys was kicking around his bottle of water on the road. He got quite annoyed about it and left and explained to me in a annoyed voice "Mummy, they aren't playing to the gospel values!" and promptly came inside.
His school is open plan, no toilet block, no canteen and no class rooms. Sounds strange, it works though!
As in Tinks school, they talk about values through the week. The teachers give out raffle tickets to kids who are displaying the values and they get their name drawn out of the box and given a prize.

[Trillian]

Fiona i have the same concerns on finding the values i hold dearly and hope to find the 'right' primary school for DD !!

(a little horrifing story here ; this past Monday i walked past the primary school that is on the next block to our home to go get my DD from Kinder in the next street, the primary school kids were out and to my disgust i had not one but four approx 10years old boys screaming out to me " Hey you biatch i can see your**** through your top, are you some ******** or are you a ***** hooker " ... and to think it was said with some kind of hatred in their voices, like there wasn't any humour in it for them. I was going to go straight to the principle's office after i picked up DD from Kinder but to my disappointment when i walked back there was not a kid in sight. Couldn't see the point if i didn't have the boys in question)

i will be subscribing to this thread !!!

Unfortunately no matter what the school teaches the children (or indeed what the school is like itself), this will not stop little turds like the ones you experienced. Schools can only do so much when it comes to getting the children to actually adopt and practice the values they are taught - and if those values are also not taught, practices and appreciated in the home then you have children who may 'toe the line' when in view of teachers, but once they are out of sight they carry on like that.

[onthefly]

What in interesting question.
I would have thought it's up to parents to teach values and ethics, not schools. Am I naive?

[smiles4u]

Unfortunately no matter what the school teaches the children (or indeed what the school is like itself), this will not stop little turds like the ones you experienced. Schools can only do so much when it comes to getting the children to actually adopt and practice the values they are taught - and if those values are also not taught, practices and appreciated in the home then you have children who may 'toe the line' when in view of teachers, but once they are out of sight they carry on like that.

so true Trilian, my sister is a secondary school teacher and she has told me some interesting stories !

as for the school up the street from me i have sadly heard only negative stories and my DP said to me in his words " She won't be going there over my dead body ".

It's the parents of the children i blame for their bad manner, and that's were it begins ... i wasn't bought up that way and neither will my DD !

[Lulu]

What in interesting question.
I would have thought it's up to parents to teach values and ethics, not schools. Am I naive?

True - but when you think about the amount of time kids spend at school you want them to be somewhere that aligns with the values you do teach.

I particularly liked DS's first school because they taught (what I considered) true independence. The clearly stated they didn't assume they know everything and gave kids the chance to follow their own learning path....unravel things at their own pace etc. They also didn't consider teachers or adults in general "higher" than the students. That is very important to me personally.

I found most schools gave the same spiel about teaching values, I was far more interested in HOW they taught that.

[Trillian]

It's tough deciding isn't it Smiles? If the school is generally *bad*, then even if the teachers are amazing and they do have a strong ethos, then it's not going to make up for the students because after all, they are the ones she's going to be socialising and making friends with.

Marcellus, I think that schools should only support what is primarily taught in the home too, but there is a bigger and bigger push for schools to take a bigger role in that and it has me scratching my head that people think like that because what is the point of having a parent or being a parent if you expect schools to do your parenting for you? The ethics classes are a top idea though I think because of what they teach - things along the line of ethical dilemma's etc - and I think it would compliment nicely what most parents would teach at home, plus there is the chance for kids to role play situations and all that.

ETA - Snap Lulu! I see your point totally, but I think Marcellus was talking along the lines of schools being the ones to teach it fullstop?

[fionas]

Just to clarify my original question - yes, of course I think that parents should be the ones who primarily teach those values BUT these days, I think I would like all the support I can get in terms of the school reinforcing those same values. In my case, it was the school, not my parents who articulated those values and that's why I suppose I remember that so well. My parents led more by example than by necessarily talking about what they believed in. I also agree Leasha that the ones I cited are not exclusive to Christianity and infact, all religions are based around quite similar core values. I very strongly identify with those values but don't necessarily believe in God, hence my reluctance to send DDs to a religious school.

[onthefly]

I guess I also wonder at the amount of stuff that teachers are expected to do now - as you say Trill, taking over so many aspects of parenting. It's not really feasible. So yes, they spend a lot of time at school, but are schools and teachers really equipped to instill values? They can talk about values or ethics, and they can enforce particular rules in the classroom, but does that really have the same effect?
How do you teach values except by example?
But, yes, I suppose I would prefer a school to follow a similar set of values to my own.

[Lulu]

but shouldn't any adult lead children by example? I think that is the most powerful thing ever and I don't want to hear a teacher reading it by rote I want to see them actually doing it because they believe it's the right way iykwim?