What to teach her to say/do when having difficulty with friends?

[appletree]

DD who is 3.5 was playing with a newish friend today and they really weren't getting along very well! They have similar personalities and both really want to be in charge of the games, and he was very into boy action/running around games and she was wanting to play girly imagination games.

The new friend ended up yelling at her in frustration, calling her stupid and then locked himself in the bathroom. She came straight to me to 'dob', so i want to teach her some tricks for handling tricky situations like this on her own. Any ideas? What do you say to your kids?

In the car on the way home i talked to her a bit about why he called her stupid and how it made her feel and suggested that next time she could say to him 'i'm not stupid, thats not a nice thing to say', but i think i could have done better!

[Sunny Love]

In the classroom we encourage the chn to stop their interaction first, then look at the person and try explain to them what they are feeling and would prefer to do. If the other person doesn't/isn't ready to listen then thats ok, when they are they will. Teach her to see if her friend is okay first, then if they are then she can walk away until they are ready to come back to the play.
Statements she can use during play and conflict situations include for eg./
* 'I don't really like games that are about (......), I like games that are (.......). What about you?'
* 'maybe after we play your game we could play my game then'
* 'I'm not stupid, thats not a nice thing to say' is PERFECT! Back it up with 'It makes me feel (......) so the other child can gain some compassionate understanding on the effects of his outburst, as harmless as it was.
Not all chn will respond proactively, however just equipping her with the skills of open and positive communication will enable her to enter and interact wonderfully during play experiences.
Great Job!
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