I fell pregnant after 2 months of TTC, we were actually on our lil weekend away at Noosa when it happened, I found out right on 4 weeks and had a group of friends here at home and was just so over the moon. I had a feeling I was preg as already nausea had set in.
Around 6 weeks I had 1 week of strong morning sickness, then around 7 weeks it kinda stopped, I felt nauseas for a lil bit but was able to eat, not like my other 2 pregnancies where I had been constantly sick for 20 weeks! So I thought wow I was lucky...During my 7th week I had a fall, was walking to the laundry where I slipped over on some bubble bath that my son and daughter had tipped out...I was a lil scared for bubs but was reasurred that he/she would be safe in their lil bubble.
So everything was going along nicely, until I reached 10 weeks and 2 days...thats when it all started, I was on the phone to my sister and about to tell her how far I was and so happy to be nearly 12 weeks and so close to having my scan, when I felt "wet" so i had a quick check to find fresh blood...I just got so upset, i kinda had this sinking feeling it wasn't going to be good...DF and I went to the hospital only to be told my tests were fine, I had a blood, urine and internal test done and bleeding had stopped, I was told to come back the next day for a scan to make sure all was ok...so after 5 hours at the hospital we go home and I start to feel a lil better.
Wake up with no blood, get ready for the scan, go in and as soon as it starts I know its all over, couldnt' see a lil baby, only saw a lil blob the lady said it was 7.2weeks and I just burst into tears and said no its meant to be over 10 weeks!! She goes maybe your dates are wrong, and I'm like no they aren't..so I have to go thru an internal scan, only to be told the same thing and that there was no heart beat...well I just lost it...couldn't stop crying, DF was amaizing, he comforted me and even had a teary...we spent another 2 hours there in emergency to be told to go home and let nature take its cause... I didn't like that, I had a baby that had been dead inside me for 3 weeks... I had hardly any bleeding...
So Friday I go back for a visit with the early pregnancy unit, and have a D&C booked, we go to day surgery and about to sign some forms when i feel like im about to pass a big clot...go to the loo to have a heap of blood just dripping out like mad...I manage to put my pants back on and crawl out and get some help... was so awful...they took me straight thru to the beds and prepped me for the D&C... The nurses were so wonderful and even the doctor... I think they made things so much more easier for me, was just horrible the blood gushing... So glad I was at the hospital when it started.
So went home around 7pm after going in for the D&C at 3pm. Was abit groggy for the next day or so...
I've been so emotional, I just really loved my lil baby, I had put clothes aside for him/her and had so many plans. My eldest Charlotte gave my belly kisses morning and night and always spoke to baby bubbles... Both my sisters are pregnant and my youngest sister has her 20week scan the same day i was to have my 12 week...shes so excited about finding out her babys sex, and I want to be so happy for her, but that day is going to be so hard Today is actually the day I was going to be 12 weeks... so I thought doing this story may help me in a way.
So we will be TTC again soon, I hope to fall preg straight away, I know my next bub won't replace but I do believe it may help me move on, cos im really not atm...
I hope you got thru all my story, i can go on abit.. we have named baby bubbles Ruby Rose as I felt I was having a girl and her name was to be Ruby... I'm going to get a Teddy made up from the Teddy Factory and keep in memory of her.
To all you ladies who have lost, I feel your pain and sorrow and wish you well with TTC and send you all big hugs
I'm so sorry your little one grew her angel wings..please allow yourself time to grieve and be gentle on yourself and DF. You'll have many bad days and then a good day and some more bad days but they do become further apart as time goes on I'm pleased the staff at the hospital were very good to you too.
I hope when you decide to ttc again it happens quickly for you and the teddy idea sounds beautiful too btw
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Baby Bubbles
the lady said it was 7.2weeks and I just burst into tears and said no its meant to be over 10 weeks!! She goes maybe your dates are wrong, and I'm like no they aren't..so I have to go thru an internal scan, only to be told the same thing and that there was no heart beat...well I just lost it...couldn't stop crying, DF was amaizing, he comforted me and even had a teary...we spent another 2 hours there in emergency to be told to go home and let nature take its cause... I didn't like that, I had a baby that had been dead inside me for 3 weeks... I had hardly any bleeding...
I'm pleased the staff at the hospital were very good to you too.
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